Containment and Moderation - not the same thing
 

We have frequent discussions about moderation on this board, with most of us agreeing that moderation is a fool's gambit for an alcoholic.

It occurred to me, though, that I went through a phase after my moderation phase, but before I was ready to give it up all together. I'm calling this my 'containment' phase.

It worked like this - I would establish physical limits to contain the damage my drinking was causing, and then drink as much as I want. There was no I'm just going to have 3 and then stop like everyone else like in my moderation phase. This was I'm going to get blackout drunk, but I am going to do it in a manner that reduces the harm it causes.

I would hand over my wallet and keys to my wife so I couldn't drink and drive (or even walk to the store). I would lock myself in the guest bedroom so I wouldn't embarrass my family with my stupefied roaming through the house. I had it all worked out.

Strangely, as I was going through this phase, I still thought of it as moderation. In retrospect it is shocking to realize just how breathtakingly bad my decision-making had become.

If moderation isn't working for you, don't move to containment. Move to sobriety. It's so much easier!
:ring

Interesting. It never ceases to amaze me how much strategizing we put into getting our booze time in. I did something similar, made sure I had everything I needed, made sure the keys were put away and would sit down and start drinking. Physically I found it to be much worse for me because I'm sure I drank far too much. I think a lot of people go through different machinations trying to find that perfect balance. But for folks like us, its elusive and becomes easier to just quit.

When I talked my husband into letting me go back to drinking the last time I asked him to do me a favor. If he knew I was buzzed to not speak to me. At least not to say anything that would set me off. He complied. Whenever he knew I was coming home after being out with friends he would sleep in the back bedroom. By the time I got home he would already be there.

Great way to live.

The crap that we'll do to protect out drinking.

This is an interesting point. I think I did something similar. After trying to moderate many times, I stopped drinking around others, but moved to secret drinking at home. Not as a plan, but that's the way it worked out. I'd buy only one bottle of wine, secretly, at a time, but would drink it all (and more if I had it). Late at night, when others were asleep.

Somehow it seemed I wasn't hurting anyone but myself, disregarding the collateral damage I was causing by making me less able to function during the day, accomplish fewer things of significance and meaning, not to mention harming myself in every physical and emotional way.

What a way to live.

Insidious insanity, it's what we did. I tried to limit exposure as you describe a handful of times. I recall coming out of blackout in the middle of a screaming match with a family member.......another time I was yelling at a loved one on the phone across the country.

Thank God I don't take that first drink today - the engine kills me, not the caboose!

Good share NonS

I did something similar in as much as I would "hang on" until 10pm before starting drinking myself to blackout. Like Nonsesnical there was no moderation in amount, only in that it meant I avoided drunken phonecalls and social media posts. Delusional.

Great post, very well put!

I recall presenting the idea to my wife that when I drank I was only going to have "neat" drinks...because then I wouldn't guzzle them. I'd just sip.

What a novel idea, right?

By "neat" drink number 3 I could have drank gasoline like it was water.

Great post Non!! :scoregood

When I stopped trying to make alcohol compatible with my life, my life took an upturn for the better!! :)