The long crawl out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1
The long crawl out
Hi all,
I'm not really new here. I posted a bit about 3 1/2 years ago but was wasn't very successful with recovery very long. So I thought this time I'd start a new profile. Plus I lost my old information.
It's been a pretty uneventful 3 1/2 years. I pretty much relapsed and with only about a month sober once a year before annual physicals. It's sad and kind of funny thinking about how I figured that would give me a clean pass. The rest of the time it was daily drinking, doing a whole lot of nothing. I spent most of my time laying on the sofa surfing the Internet.
A few months ago after a heavy day drinking I woke up with major pain in my lower back muscles. I could barley stand up and muscles had painful spasms. So I sobered up shortly and the pain went away in a about a week. Of course in my wisdom I went back to drinking thinking I was all better. Sure enough a few weeks later the pain came back but even worse this time. So I put two and two together and figured my body was trying to tell me something important.
I stopped drinking May 20th. As for the title of the thread it has been a long crawl out. I was fortunate and didn't have any major withdrawal symptoms. The back pain lasted several weeks this time but is finally pretty much gone. The main problem I've had in the last few weeks is not being able to sleep more than 5 or 6 hours a night and terrible anxiety. I've been through this before in prior recovery attempts. I just forgot how difficult the sleep and anxiety is.
I'm at that stage of sobriety again that I'm reflecting on my life after 20+ years of drinking. It's the recalling all the crappy things I have done while intoxicated and all the things I've missed out on phase. I also have bipolar disorder so mixing alcohol with mental illness lead to a lot of poor decisions at times in my life. These thoughts and reminders of course do nothing to help sleep or anxiety.
I know this probably gets said a lot and taken with a grain of salt but I'm pretty sold on staying sober for good now. I'm tired of wasting away on my sofa as life goes on around me. I'm tired of being physically ill and in pain. I'm tired of the little things like not being able to go to the store for food because I had been drinking.
On the plus side I've lost 12 pounds and my face doesn't look bloated anymore. I've gotten off the sofa more and started doing some light exercises and enjoying the nice weather. I'm eating healthier and making meals instead of ordering pizzas and eating junk food. My last labs in February my cholesterol was a bit high and my triglycerides had doubled.
Well, I guess that is all I have to say about that for now. I decided to come back here for the community and to distract myself a bit from all the negative thoughts I've been having. I've enjoyed reading and catching up on this forum. I'm glad to see a few names I recognize from my last time here have been doing well.
I'm not really new here. I posted a bit about 3 1/2 years ago but was wasn't very successful with recovery very long. So I thought this time I'd start a new profile. Plus I lost my old information.
It's been a pretty uneventful 3 1/2 years. I pretty much relapsed and with only about a month sober once a year before annual physicals. It's sad and kind of funny thinking about how I figured that would give me a clean pass. The rest of the time it was daily drinking, doing a whole lot of nothing. I spent most of my time laying on the sofa surfing the Internet.
A few months ago after a heavy day drinking I woke up with major pain in my lower back muscles. I could barley stand up and muscles had painful spasms. So I sobered up shortly and the pain went away in a about a week. Of course in my wisdom I went back to drinking thinking I was all better. Sure enough a few weeks later the pain came back but even worse this time. So I put two and two together and figured my body was trying to tell me something important.
I stopped drinking May 20th. As for the title of the thread it has been a long crawl out. I was fortunate and didn't have any major withdrawal symptoms. The back pain lasted several weeks this time but is finally pretty much gone. The main problem I've had in the last few weeks is not being able to sleep more than 5 or 6 hours a night and terrible anxiety. I've been through this before in prior recovery attempts. I just forgot how difficult the sleep and anxiety is.
I'm at that stage of sobriety again that I'm reflecting on my life after 20+ years of drinking. It's the recalling all the crappy things I have done while intoxicated and all the things I've missed out on phase. I also have bipolar disorder so mixing alcohol with mental illness lead to a lot of poor decisions at times in my life. These thoughts and reminders of course do nothing to help sleep or anxiety.
I know this probably gets said a lot and taken with a grain of salt but I'm pretty sold on staying sober for good now. I'm tired of wasting away on my sofa as life goes on around me. I'm tired of being physically ill and in pain. I'm tired of the little things like not being able to go to the store for food because I had been drinking.
On the plus side I've lost 12 pounds and my face doesn't look bloated anymore. I've gotten off the sofa more and started doing some light exercises and enjoying the nice weather. I'm eating healthier and making meals instead of ordering pizzas and eating junk food. My last labs in February my cholesterol was a bit high and my triglycerides had doubled.
Well, I guess that is all I have to say about that for now. I decided to come back here for the community and to distract myself a bit from all the negative thoughts I've been having. I've enjoyed reading and catching up on this forum. I'm glad to see a few names I recognize from my last time here have been doing well.
I hope our support can help you stay sober for good. Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome back, TwoSevenOne! Hope you'll become an active participant here. I highly suggest joining in the Class of June 2017 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are also newly sober.
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