Thoughts
 

I was able to make it to day 11 twice recently.. there is no real significance to the number 11, I think it is just enough time for me to forget how bad drinking was.

I'm on day 3 .. But am stressed am feel like drinking after work. I know it wouldn't make sense .. tomorrow would be more stressful as a result of feeling like crap and if some major crisis happened while drinking...

Drinking is ridiculous and I can make myself believe that yet end up with beer.

I need coping skills for stress. Today I'm worried about my job, my car, my apartment, even my looks. I have a poor self image and often use that as an excuse to say to heck with it and drink again.

I have to put in the work to get these much needed life skills because they haven't fallen out the sky yet.. probably time to go get them myself.

Thanks for reading.

When I first started this journey I felt a lot like you do. I didn't do much of anything for quite some time, just what I had to until I felt stronger which does come, but it takes a little longer than 11 days. I wish you well on your journey!

Probably?

Well, I suppose 100% chance is technically a probability. :)

Go get it.
:You_Rock_

Do it now- you have the awareness. Do not leave it until you lose everything.

Focus on just NOT drinking Volshen. Early sobriety, for me at least, was a big black suck hole. I was 100% miserable for a good long time and every day I made a pact not to pick up a drink, and not to kill myself. Eventually I got to a good spot. It takes time. It's atrocious. It's hard. I never had a pink cloud. It sucked 24/7 early on. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you. Now I have a life second to none and I am so glad I didn't drink or kill myself that first year!
<3 Bunny

I saw you pick up on something important in your post that tells me you do know the first step of a path for you!

You said "Often use that as an excuse to say to heck and drink".

Excuse anymore has a fairly negative sound to it, but I don't see it as such. To me it is simply a recognition that the voice of mara (alchohol) is calling to you. My mind is a liar and will use anything that happens as an excuse to drink at times. "at times" is the key ... the times it does this become farther and farther apart. Please remember that day 11 could be Mara calling you again to take another drink ... lying.

Some times when I have entered sobriety things have sucked for a very long time, other times I have bounced up fairly quickly. But I do bounce back eventually if I don't drink.

Keep your head up for you are stronger than you think!