Should a diehard atheist go to AA?
Just a nerd
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
Should a diehard atheist go to AA?
I just found out that there's an AA meeting practically happening in my backyard (it's literally like 20 feet from my house) once a week, and I'm starting to consider going to an actual meeting. The problem is, I live in a super religious, small town and I don't want to leave with a bad taste in my mouth about AA in general.
I know AA isn't a religious thing at all, but I'm kind of scared that the ones around me are more than geared for religious people in general, and I don't want to just cross AA off the list due to one meeting being a gigantic prayer session (worst case scenario for me).
So, do I have the wrong idea altogether? I'm a 27-year-old hermit and I don't know much about stuff.
I know AA isn't a religious thing at all, but I'm kind of scared that the ones around me are more than geared for religious people in general, and I don't want to just cross AA off the list due to one meeting being a gigantic prayer session (worst case scenario for me).
So, do I have the wrong idea altogether? I'm a 27-year-old hermit and I don't know much about stuff.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Agree with Dee. And, there are several things I hear people say related to the "God Thing".....you can have anything you want- including just the Program- as your higher power. Others say "take what you want and leave the rest" meaning to look for similarities rather than differences in other people (so, some people believe in a Christian God like I do, others believe in the spirit of nature, whatever)....the only desire for membership is a desire to quit drinking.
Those who are atheist or agnostic do often struggle with the concept of a higher power when strictly interpreted in conventional religious sense - and IMO and from watching and listening to people with these thoughts and "issues" that sticking with the core of the program and following its steps CAN, often DOES, lead to an understanding that SOMETHING bigger than us is at work.
AA is my core and I credit it and God with my successful sobriety to date, and I also use other/secular/academic resources to keep my program growing and vibrant.
Those who are atheist or agnostic do often struggle with the concept of a higher power when strictly interpreted in conventional religious sense - and IMO and from watching and listening to people with these thoughts and "issues" that sticking with the core of the program and following its steps CAN, often DOES, lead to an understanding that SOMETHING bigger than us is at work.
AA is my core and I credit it and God with my successful sobriety to date, and I also use other/secular/academic resources to keep my program growing and vibrant.
Have an open mind and go check it out. No one is going to force you into anything. Take what is good for you and use that to get to a better sober place. That's all that everyone wants in recovery.
I'm getting better today, but back in the
day, id worry myself to death at what others
would think about me or what id do.
Recovery in AA and faith has strengthened
me as well as taught me that I have no control
over what folks think. They will think what
ever they want and I don't have a hand in it.
For me, being responsible for my own
recovery, my own life, my own well being
is enough in itself to handle without
worrying what others think of me.
Stay focused on what's important and
right in front of me, keep my business
to myself and strive to remain healthy,
happy, honest and most of all sober each
day moving forward.
Keep an open mind, remain willing to do
whatever it takes to listen, learn, absorb
and apply a recovery program as a guide
line to remain sober.
day, id worry myself to death at what others
would think about me or what id do.
Recovery in AA and faith has strengthened
me as well as taught me that I have no control
over what folks think. They will think what
ever they want and I don't have a hand in it.
For me, being responsible for my own
recovery, my own life, my own well being
is enough in itself to handle without
worrying what others think of me.
Stay focused on what's important and
right in front of me, keep my business
to myself and strive to remain healthy,
happy, honest and most of all sober each
day moving forward.
Keep an open mind, remain willing to do
whatever it takes to listen, learn, absorb
and apply a recovery program as a guide
line to remain sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
My sponsor is an atheist but I think it really depends on the overall composition of the group. It depends. You said you live in a conservative religious community. Thus, you may have difficulties with some of the other members if the are super conservative religious people. In my view these folks are closed minded souls who don't really subscribe to the principals of AA.
If I were you I would go prepared. Look at the AA big book and read up on what they have to say about atheists.
One thing I have noticed is that many of the god spouting "Christians" I see at AA meetings rarely go to church.
Here's a couple of links for your review. Good Luck!
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt4.pdf
An Atheist's Guide to 12-Step Recovery | AA Agnostica
If I were you I would go prepared. Look at the AA big book and read up on what they have to say about atheists.
One thing I have noticed is that many of the god spouting "Christians" I see at AA meetings rarely go to church.
Here's a couple of links for your review. Good Luck!
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt4.pdf
An Atheist's Guide to 12-Step Recovery | AA Agnostica
I'm getting better today, but back in the
day, id worry myself to death at what others
would think about me or what id do.
Recovery in AA and faith has strengthened
me as well as taught me that I have no control
over what folks think. They will think what
ever they want and I don't have a hand in it.
For me, being responsible for my own
recovery, my own life, my own well being
is enough in itself to handle without
worrying what others think of me.
Stay focused on what's important and
right in front of me, keep my business
to myself and strive to remain healthy,
happy, honest and most of all sober each
day moving forward.
Keep an open mind, remain willing to do
whatever it takes to listen, learn, absorb
and apply a recovery program as a guide
line to remain sober.
day, id worry myself to death at what others
would think about me or what id do.
Recovery in AA and faith has strengthened
me as well as taught me that I have no control
over what folks think. They will think what
ever they want and I don't have a hand in it.
For me, being responsible for my own
recovery, my own life, my own well being
is enough in itself to handle without
worrying what others think of me.
Stay focused on what's important and
right in front of me, keep my business
to myself and strive to remain healthy,
happy, honest and most of all sober each
day moving forward.
Keep an open mind, remain willing to do
whatever it takes to listen, learn, absorb
and apply a recovery program as a guide
line to remain sober.
ya might want to read the big book to understand what the program is. theres a chapter,"we agnostics" that relieved concerns that members would try and pick my HP for me.
theres quite a few athiests in AA.
one of the many great things about AA is the ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
theres quite a few athiests in AA.
one of the many great things about AA is the ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Good advice from everyone so far. I am agnostic - I believe "something" bigger than us puny humans is at work, but I don't believe in an omnipotent God. I was afraid I'd have trouble with the higher power part of AA, but there is plenty of room for whatever you believe in, even if it's only the power of the fellowship of AA itself. Individual meetings can be different, though. I would not be able to deal with it if the meetings I went to were overly Christian religious. I'd have to find a different one. Not because I don't respect everyone's freedom to believe what they want to, but there's SO MUCH more to the steps of AA, I wouldn't want to concentrate so much on the higher power aspect of it.
Give it a try. Prepare yourself by reading the Chapter to the Agnostics in the BB. Have an open mind. Try a meeting or several. If it can help you at all, it will not be wasted time. And remember - you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to at a meeting, including your beliefs. That's your business.
Give it a try. Prepare yourself by reading the Chapter to the Agnostics in the BB. Have an open mind. Try a meeting or several. If it can help you at all, it will not be wasted time. And remember - you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to at a meeting, including your beliefs. That's your business.
I´m an atheist in AA and I was relieved that their literature addresses this concern. It´s definitely worth checking out even if it doesn´t pan out for you. I´d also recommend checking out a few meetings because some meetings really vary in the format of the meeting as well as the people that go.
Good luck
Good luck
I don't know if i'd call it the wrong idea, but you might have the wrong attitude/outlook. It seems as though you are looking for reasons that this won't work before you have even tried it. And that's pretty common with addiction so you aren't alone there at all.
The bottom line is that there is no method of recovery that's going to be 100% "comfortable" and agreeable to our terms. For one thing all recovery methods require us to stop drinking alcohol, and addiction doesn't like that one bit. Recovery ( by any method ) also requires us to face life on it's own terms and own up to our other issues - and that's always going to be uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that there is no method of recovery that's going to be 100% "comfortable" and agreeable to our terms. For one thing all recovery methods require us to stop drinking alcohol, and addiction doesn't like that one bit. Recovery ( by any method ) also requires us to face life on it's own terms and own up to our other issues - and that's always going to be uncomfortable.
I live in the buckle of the bible belt. My perceptions about what I thought this meant were very wrong. For example, I assumed that 90% of people were attending church regularly when statistics/polls show this number is less than 25% here.
Sobriety is about the WHO - Willingness, honesty and openmindedness. Those are essential I was told and agree.
Nice location, btw........
Sobriety is about the WHO - Willingness, honesty and openmindedness. Those are essential I was told and agree.
Nice location, btw........
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 101
FWIW, I'd call myself an athiest/agnostic, and that does not make attending AA difficult. What's easier for me, is to go to the meetings with the people/format that I like.
For example, my concept of the "Higher Power" is the ocean. It's bigger than me, stronger than me, was the source of our ancestors we evolved from, and could wipe all of our existence out one day. And it' still full of mystery. That works for me.
For example, my concept of the "Higher Power" is the ocean. It's bigger than me, stronger than me, was the source of our ancestors we evolved from, and could wipe all of our existence out one day. And it' still full of mystery. That works for me.
there is really no- one who "should" go to an AA meeting.
some want to, others know in their gut they need to.
chek your motives...why are you considering it?
the "AA solution" , as you mention you know, is not religious as such, and therefore accessible to anyone.
the AA fellowship is also accessible to anyone, and does not require membership. membership onlyhas one requirement: a desire to be sober.
from personal experience, yeah, it is quite possible to be very turned off by the basic slant of some meetings.
and it's easy to mistake or equate meetings with AA as such.
knowing that, you can decide to go with an open mind and knowledge that folks at a meeting are not the same as "the program".
if you go, go without intent to argue, and chat with a person or two afterwards if you can.....that is the way to get connected and get to ask questions.
some want to, others know in their gut they need to.
chek your motives...why are you considering it?
the "AA solution" , as you mention you know, is not religious as such, and therefore accessible to anyone.
the AA fellowship is also accessible to anyone, and does not require membership. membership onlyhas one requirement: a desire to be sober.
from personal experience, yeah, it is quite possible to be very turned off by the basic slant of some meetings.
and it's easy to mistake or equate meetings with AA as such.
knowing that, you can decide to go with an open mind and knowledge that folks at a meeting are not the same as "the program".
if you go, go without intent to argue, and chat with a person or two afterwards if you can.....that is the way to get connected and get to ask questions.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
My best friend JUST spoke of this, when we were on the phone an hour ago. I brought up wanting to have faith in God and struggling with that, and he said it has been hard for him at times to be a "diehard atheist" (same exact words lol) in AA, but AA has done him pretty well.. We have a huge support network both here and in those rooms. That will always be there for us, and we can have put our faith in that, we can see that it's worked for people and have faith in the program, we can learn to have more faith in ourselves. Please, don't give up on AA because there are religious people there and people who feel really passionate about their faith in God and very strongly feel that they can help you.. that's all they want is to help.
Yes, go to AA.
Meeting other people face to face who were struggling and now are recovering from alcoholism can be very powerful.
For me, the fellowship of other guys in AA, along with this website were the keys to getting and staying sober.
Meeting other people face to face who were struggling and now are recovering from alcoholism can be very powerful.
For me, the fellowship of other guys in AA, along with this website were the keys to getting and staying sober.
Just a nerd
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
FWIW, I'd call myself an athiest/agnostic, and that does not make attending AA difficult. What's easier for me, is to go to the meetings with the people/format that I like.
For example, my concept of the "Higher Power" is the ocean. It's bigger than me, stronger than me, was the source of our ancestors we evolved from, and could wipe all of our existence out one day. And it' still full of mystery. That works for me.
For example, my concept of the "Higher Power" is the ocean. It's bigger than me, stronger than me, was the source of our ancestors we evolved from, and could wipe all of our existence out one day. And it' still full of mystery. That works for me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)