Hypersensitivity
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Hypersensitivity
This is not a post directly related to alcohol or recovery but relates to a situation that occurred today which has left me feeling crappy and is one that would have resulted in me having an 'excuse' to buy wine on the way home from work (I didn't and wasn't tempted). I am posting because I know one of the reasons I drank was to avoid working through difficult emotions and so this is me doing that!
A client made a complaint to the big big boss...and it's a case that was allocated to my account whilst I was on leave because it needed to be allocated to someone. I never met or spoke to the client...I didn't undertake any work on the account. My manager attended two meetings with the client and then the account was closed. However, because the account was in my name I have been contacted about the complaint, which was about the manner in which my manager spoke to the client at these meetings. Now I know that it is ridiculous to take this personally because I had no involvement with the account, but I know from therapy that I am hypersensitive. As a result of childhood experiences I learned early on to be a super people pleaser to avoid emotional pain and to try to recieve love.
I am struggling to emotionally extricate myself from a complaint that is not about me. I am somehow left feeling that my professional conduct and manner is in disrepute and it's making me feel anxious and like I have done something wrong, that I am in trouble. I know this is to do with my childhood but I can't seem to shift these negative emotions.
Anyway thanks for reading...if anyone has experience of hypersensitivity (or not) and has suggestions about working through the emotions/thoughts (rather than how I can approach the practicalities at work...because I know it's not really about this specific complaint) please feel free to share 💜
Nova x
A client made a complaint to the big big boss...and it's a case that was allocated to my account whilst I was on leave because it needed to be allocated to someone. I never met or spoke to the client...I didn't undertake any work on the account. My manager attended two meetings with the client and then the account was closed. However, because the account was in my name I have been contacted about the complaint, which was about the manner in which my manager spoke to the client at these meetings. Now I know that it is ridiculous to take this personally because I had no involvement with the account, but I know from therapy that I am hypersensitive. As a result of childhood experiences I learned early on to be a super people pleaser to avoid emotional pain and to try to recieve love.
I am struggling to emotionally extricate myself from a complaint that is not about me. I am somehow left feeling that my professional conduct and manner is in disrepute and it's making me feel anxious and like I have done something wrong, that I am in trouble. I know this is to do with my childhood but I can't seem to shift these negative emotions.
Anyway thanks for reading...if anyone has experience of hypersensitivity (or not) and has suggestions about working through the emotions/thoughts (rather than how I can approach the practicalities at work...because I know it's not really about this specific complaint) please feel free to share 💜
Nova x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Hi there from a fellow hypersensitive people pleaser. 
With time and continued sobriety, I am finding ways to build boundaries and protect my space. Being hypersensitive and feeling the emotions intensely, I am also aware that they do pass, often quickly. In a few days, you'll be on to something else. Try to keep it in perspective. Today, you feel crappy, and that's okay, because tomorrow is a new day. Do something kind for yourself. 
With time and continued sobriety, I am finding ways to build boundaries and protect my space. Being hypersensitive and feeling the emotions intensely, I am also aware that they do pass, often quickly. In a few days, you'll be on to something else. Try to keep it in perspective. Today, you feel crappy, and that's okay, because tomorrow is a new day. Do something kind for yourself. Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
I have learned to separate the situation from me, especially if it is something beyond my control. I truly think the beginning of the serenity prayer is wise life advice:
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, nova. One of the most difficult things for me in sobriety (have posted this before, so forgive the repetition) is to sit with unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions and not run screaming for a drink.
I used alcohol to deal with fear, stress, and tiredness.
So I can totally understand what you are saying.
Just be good to yourself and, in time, let it go.
I visualize something like this situation as a rock.
I climb to the top of a cliff, carrying my grudge, fear or resentment rock.
At the top of the cliff, I THROW that rock into the ocean below as hard as I can.
Sounds kinda weird, I know, but it works for me.
I used alcohol to deal with fear, stress, and tiredness.
So I can totally understand what you are saying.
Just be good to yourself and, in time, let it go.
I visualize something like this situation as a rock.
I climb to the top of a cliff, carrying my grudge, fear or resentment rock.
At the top of the cliff, I THROW that rock into the ocean below as hard as I can.
Sounds kinda weird, I know, but it works for me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
