Half in the bag rambling. Just looking for someone to talk to.
 

Hi everyone. Ive spent the past two years being redirected to this forum from my drunken google searches. I am 21 years old , living in Canada. I started drinking when i was probably like 15 or 16. I have a host of other addictions including cigarettes ( a pack or two of 20 each day, disgusting i know) and pot of which i smoke about a half ounce a week. All my addictions spawned around the same time, i dabbled with pot as early as grade 6 and by the time i was in grade 9 i was a full blown addict. I dropped out of highschool and started working , stupid manual labour jobs and cashier positions. Now im 21 , turning 22 in July and i keep seeing everyone around me in my life progressing, and im still in my disgusting basement drinking to escape all my problems. Im scared that my body is starting to break down, and im so young. I havent been able to breathe without wheezing in years and now i have pains in my abdomen sometimes. My stomach also makes incredibly strange noises often when im trying to sleep at night. I dont know what to do. I bought a car recently but im rarely sober enough to confidently drive it. I dont even have my G2 just my G1 and i dont think i can pass the G2 test in my state. The nearest support groups are a town or two over so im stuck in this relatively small town. I dont want to die, i used to, but ive started to realize that life can be pretty great if you just open your mind a little bit. i guess im here for some supportive words, someone to tell me im not alone, because everyone in my life looks at me like an out of control addict. I embrace it and laugh it off, but inside i am dying. i never wanted to be this person.

you are NOT alone! i'm glad you finally followed The Google and signed up! Welcome to SR!

Context,

I'm so glad you are here. The first thing is recognizing you want to make a change, and posting here was a great first step. You are the age of my daughter, so I really can relate and feel for you. You are so right.. Life is good, and this is no way to live it. I can tell you want to stop this cycle you are in, and climb out of the darkness. You can! It sounds too simple, but really that is the first step. Deciding you want to. You can live differently, and it can start right now.

This is a great place, with many wise and helpful people. I know they will reply soon with lots of good suggestions for you. I'm pretty new, but wanted to welcome you and say, please, please, stick around. I have a feeling you are on the brink of change and a new better life ahead. I'm hopeful and excited for you.

Hang in there! We are here for you.

No one wants to grow up and be an addict. You are most definitely not alone. And, you are worth the effort that you will have to put into recovery. You will find lots of support here.

thank you so much for your kind words. you genuinely made me cry. i intend on sticking around, and look forward to hearing from the rest of the community.

Welcome to SR! So smart of you to have this insight. SR has definitely helped me feel supported and will for you as well. You are so right - there is so much more of this world than drugs and alcohol. Nice job for taking the first step.

Hi CONTEXT95,

Just wanted to say hello and thank you for your post, I look forward to 'seeing' you around SR. I truly wish you well on your recovery journey x

You are never alone here. We Can Stay Sober!

Welcome to SR, CONTEXT95. Sobriety/recovery is a better way of life, and you've found a great place to help you get there. Tons of great folks here with a lot of wisdom and support to offer. Wishing you the best tonight.

Welcome to the family. :) I was lost when I first came here but quickly was made to feel at home. :)

I hope our support can help you get sober for good and live a rewarding life. :hug:

Welcome CONTEXT :)

There's a lot of support here to help you stop drinking and stay quit - I hope to see you around some more :)

D

Good to have you with us, Context. We are here to encourage you.

I know you're frustrated & anxious about your situation - but you are taking action. When I was 21 I still had decades of drinking & destruction ahead of me. You can rise above the bad times and have a great new life. I hope you'll keep posting - we want to help.

thank you all
 

thanks to everyone for being so welcoming. it means alot.
and what Hevyn said was 100 percent correct. im really nervous about quitting, because in the past couple years ive been really hitting the bottle my personality has changed. i feel that im much more likable when im drunk (most of the time) so i fear that when i quit ill lose the ease with which im able to socialize. also, being an addict for this long has made me completely lose touch with myself. i dont even know who i am anymore, ive spent too long foolishly trying to make my whole life about my addiction. no other hobbies, and whenever i try to pick one up i just give up on it in a couple weeks. if i quit today i would just in my basement and stew until eventually i couldnt take it and get drunk again. i need to change my lifestyle, my daily routine and i think this community could really help. just knowing someone will read and understand where im coming from is cool, noone in my life really takes my problems seriously, as i suspect most have given up on me. both of my parents are addicts, but its just pot.

Glad your here C........this site has been invaluable to me & gave me hope when I felt lost. Great Group Here!

Context- welcome. Courageous move to post. I joined here for support as I really had nothing else for a while. Great support- I would suggest you join the 'Class of June 2017' thread in newcomer's. I joined the C/O March '16 and still use it daily- and have friends now. It is my 'home group'. I think seeing a doctor is a very good idea- AND BE COMPLETELY HONEST. Even if you go to another town. Support groups- even if you can only go once a week/fortnight- face to face contact is so important. I used to even go to after church cup of tea morning with 9000 year olds. It helped. Support and empathy to you. You are self aware at a yo8ung age- USE THAT!!!! Do not look back on this post in 5 years with no progress. Small steps- do something different. Go to the library, check out the community centre. Read the noticeboard outside the shops. Join a walking group, a book group....WHATEVER. I do art and writing now. Like you- I isolate but am slowly coming out of my shell. There is also the 24 hour check-in site, the Whiner's anonymous site (for whinging)- look around. This place is great for learning, sharing, supporting, growing and stuff.

Have Faith
 

I've been through what you're going through....years ago. I quit a liter a day habit cold-turkey....not recommended...I had become sick of what my life had become. I went through the worst 72 hours of my life during that detox. After that, there was still the residual physical and psychological pain to deal with. Eventually the fog cleared, but through it all I never lost my focus and commitment to stop being a slave to alcohol. Through it all I never looked at others or how others were doing. My measures of success were mine and all internal. You can do the same. Get your mind clear, set your own goals, and take the small steps necessary to reach them. Above all, learn patience. All of this will take time.

Welcome Context, I think many of us found SR on a drunken Google search, and have found sobriety because of this place. You are very wise for such a young age, I know I will not be the on,y one who says "I wish I had quit at your age." I definitely do!

You can do this, one day at a time, and in the beginning it may be one hour, or one minute, but you can do this. SR is a great support, and you may benefit from other outside supports as well.

Looking forward to seeing you on here!

Hi CONTEXT95, welcome to SR :c012:

I agree with Delilah! Oh how I wish I'd had your wisdom to even question that I may have drank too much!

I was terrified of stopping drinking, Couldn't imagine life without it! I tried for years just to cut down which didn't work, one or two was never enough. I thought I'd miss out on so much, but to be honest it was the other way around. I missed out on so much being a drunk.

So when I eventually stopped, I had to learn recovery. How to live my life without alcohol. I'm so pleased I have and there are many people here who are a testament that there is life after booze, a good one!

I'm so pleased you found us, CONTEXT95, there's some fantastic people here who understand what you're experiencing.