Blogs


Notices

My numbers: 49 - 13.578 - 31

Old 06-08-2017, 02:22 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 33
My numbers: 49 - 13.578 - 31

What are these numbers, you ask?

Well, the first one is my age. I am 49 years old. That one's pretty simple.

The second one required some math. It's an estimate of the amount of alcohol I drank after I started sometime around my freshman year at college. Since then, my poor liver must have metabolized somewhere in the range of 13,5 tons of ethyl alcohol over 31 years.

Interestingly, 31 also happens to be my third number.

But it doesn't refer to the years I have been drinking, but the days I haven't drank since I stopped.

I wanted to reach this milestone before posting.

And I acknowledge now that I was a natural member of this distinguised club whose members' first drink will probably lead to their last one, with no real stops in between, whilst wreaking havoc along the way, causing harm and hurt all over, sadly and mostly to the immediate loved ones and one's own self.

So, as of 31 days ago, I decided to leave this club. Believe me, I needed to. And as you all know, it's not an easy club to leave. So easy to become a member, rise along the ranks, a semblance of true love and acceptance, cheers and hugs all around, up until you realize that it's The "Casa Nostra" Club, you may enter but it is sooooo hard to leave.

Well, I left. At least I haven't walked through its doors for the past 31 days.

And so I find myself a very new member of this other Club. One that is truly difficult to get into. Difficult to stay in. Struggle, struggle.. and struggle some more. The Sober Club. (by the way, at first glance some of the synonyms for sober are not very cheerful: serious, somber, grave, sensible and so on..)

They say that the human brain is conditioned to forget the bad and remember the good. I think I read it somewhere that it is genetic, in other words wired in our system because, well.. otherwise, women apparently wouldn't give birth a second time. And we must all admit that wouldn't be good for the propagation of the species.

So, when I look over across the street to the Club I left, and imagine in some incurable part of my brain that the good times will probably continue to roll over there, I stop. I push myself to remember the pain, to remember the hurt and the bad. Otherwise, it is so easy to slip back, slam open the doors and run right back in there... and I know what I will soon meet again: the pain, the hurt and the bad.

That's my story. I will continue making this effort. Who knows, with time, I hope to become a permanent member.

Anyway, there is really no alternative.

By the way, here are some other synonyms for "sober":

Earnest, responsible, thoughtful. Doesn't seem too bad now, does it?

Hence the user name I chose: 13,5 tons is roughly the equivalent of a small tanker. You know, the ones that transport milk, water and other assorted liquids.

Thanks for accepting me to the new club. I am happy to be here.

Hello all, my tanker is full.
Tankersfull is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Tankersfull For This Useful Post:
CreativeThinker (06-08-2017), FeelingL0st (06-08-2017), Hevyn (06-08-2017), HTown (06-08-2017), Julia8 (06-09-2017), least (06-08-2017), PhoenixJ (06-08-2017), seahorse661 (06-09-2017), SoberInStAlbans (06-09-2017), WeaverBird (06-08-2017)
Old 06-08-2017, 02:47 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 186,457
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome to SR Tankersfull

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
SoberInStAlbans (06-09-2017), WeaverBird (06-08-2017)
Old 06-08-2017, 06:00 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 22,510
Blog Entries: 2
thanks, welcome to you
PhoenixJ is offline  
Old 06-08-2017, 06:08 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,644
Pleased to have you with us, Tankersfull.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 06-08-2017, 06:13 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,004
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome to the family and congrats on the first of many sober months! I hope our support and your determination can help you stay sober for good.
least is online now  
Old 06-08-2017, 06:24 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
CreativeThinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Blog Entries: 197
Welcome Tank! Glad you're here!
CreativeThinker is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:46 PM.