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Slowly killing myself.

Old 06-07-2017, 10:55 PM
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Slowly killing myself.

I'm back here again. I'm just gonna preface this with I smoked K2 (JWH-018) out of a bong when I was 17 and now I'm 26. It almost killed me. I've had the sensation of my brain melting while ants are crawling in it while a power drill is being jammed in all at once ever since. I've never met anyone with the same symptoms. I found after about a year or two of seeing doctors that alcohol made the pain go away, or I didn't notice it as much, is what was actually happening because alcohol is a depressant.
Nothing else helps. Can't even smoke weed with my friends in this new golden time in cannabis culture and newfound legality. I can't think if I don't drink. I've been drinking for so long I don't know what happens if I stop and that scares me. I've been to AA and all of the programs and they just bore me. I understand my problem. I understand my "God." I get the concept of universal oneness and I feel like I understand most things. I write as a hobby and I feel my mind is bursting at the seams with information I have to get out. If I don't drink I can't even think for the pain. I feel like I'm sacrificing my life at this point and writing my last testament just in case.
I just woke up so I have a small window before the "headaches" that aren't alcohol related and existed before I ever started drinking come back, to write this, sober.

My family is starting to get worried about me. I'm getting worried about me. I don't care too much about living if I can't cure whatever this mental pain problem I have is, without depressant drugs. It's not a cure. I need help. Anyone have any help? Please no God stuff. I get it. It's just annoying at this point. I need real help. I meditate and exercise and all that, but it's hard with a powerdrill in your skull. How do I reset my brain to default?

Here they come.
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Old 06-07-2017, 11:43 PM
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Hi Arthox - welcome to SR

I have no experience with spice - that stuff came out after I quit weed - I've heard, and read here, it's pretty bad stuff and I'm sorry you're still having problems years later.

I do n\know a little about using alcohol as medicine tho and the bottom lime is it's no very effective - it's effects only last a short time, and over time, it's effects will actually lessen, while your need for it grows more and more.

It's pretty much a dead end.

I know it's scary to consider not having that there, but I think thats probably the way forward - removing the self medication from the picture may help you and your doctors work out what exactly is going on.

You'll find a ton of support here - and support helps. I used SR practically all day every day for a while when I was quitting drinking - the folks here got me through

I'm glad you found us too

D
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Old 06-07-2017, 11:52 PM
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It's not just pretty much a dead end. It literally is. Yeah, it is scary. What's even scarier, is that so far removing the self-medication and seeing doctors hasn't helped and nobody has any real answers. At all. It's been 8 years. I appreciate support.

It just seems to make other people feel better and yields no result.

How do I make this strange pain in my head go away so I can live my life?
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Old 06-08-2017, 02:14 AM
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Good to have u here arthox wish i new the answer to your question. I myself battle with my brain and use drink. Im sure u have tried a dtox rehab place? i have done it many times and this last time i did 7 wks and just relasped but i keep on trying. I am away to start this book called the 30day solution anything is worth a shot to get rid of our pain xx
Keep coming here and keep reading and if you do write that is also a good thing as communicating how u feel is a way forward. Its when we go quiet thats when the pain comes .

so welcome again hun xx
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Old 06-08-2017, 06:40 AM
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Arthox

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hear your anguish. Have your doctors had you try any medications, say antidepressants (while off alcohol)? I really feel for you and pray you can get some relief.
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Old 06-08-2017, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Arthox View Post
How do I make this strange pain in my head go away so I can live my life?
work the 12 steps of aa/na under the guidance of a sponsor

get active in service to others

how are you today Arthox?

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Old 06-08-2017, 02:43 PM
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Thinking of you.
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