Day 5 . AV is screaming at me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 91
Day 5 . AV is screaming at me
I'm staying strong . Took an extra shift at work to keep busy but this is the first time this week it's been so bad.
I have to keep reminding myself how I felt on Sunday. Please help remind me how bad the day after is!!
I have to keep reminding myself how I felt on Sunday. Please help remind me how bad the day after is!!
Gratitude Gardener
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 278
No problem:
Self hatred on par with nothing less than the burning pits of hell itself.
Suicidal thoughts.
SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME.
The knowledge that you are killing yourself, despite your best efforts NOT to kill yourself.
Lack of control.
Sweating.
Unable to feel solidly good about yourself.
Nervous.
Anxiety.
No place possible to find comfort. Because the discomfort is in your SOUL.
STAY ON BOARD. It gets EASIER!
Self hatred on par with nothing less than the burning pits of hell itself.
Suicidal thoughts.
SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME.
The knowledge that you are killing yourself, despite your best efforts NOT to kill yourself.
Lack of control.
Sweating.
Unable to feel solidly good about yourself.
Nervous.
Anxiety.
No place possible to find comfort. Because the discomfort is in your SOUL.
STAY ON BOARD. It gets EASIER!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Good for you for being so self aware! That's a really great thing. The day after drinking is HORRIBLE. I have spent an unspeakable number of days basically sitting and hoping I don't spontaneously die. Coaching myself to be able to walk somewhere when I literally run and bike while sober.
You can do this. Find positive outlets and someone to call when you feel triggered. Post on here too - I can say I'm certainly glad to have read your post! We help each other here
hugs to you!
You can do this. Find positive outlets and someone to call when you feel triggered. Post on here too - I can say I'm certainly glad to have read your post! We help each other here
hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Charli,
Tell that AV it's a liar. You know it's a trick. Instead of feeling like you are gutting it out, "depriving" yourself, remind yourself you are giving yourself a gift by not pouring poison down your throat. This is exciting and good, something to be proud of. A positive, not a negative.
When I've been hit with cravings this week, I tried to analyze them: Where do I feel it? In my mouth, my stomach? How interesting. It's just a physical sensation that I can analyze and dismiss. If you wait it out, it's surprising how fast it passes. You KNOW there's nothing in it that's good for you. It's an illusion! See it for what it is, and *poof* it loses its power.
Just some things that have helped me.
I get it. But hang in there!
Tell that AV it's a liar. You know it's a trick. Instead of feeling like you are gutting it out, "depriving" yourself, remind yourself you are giving yourself a gift by not pouring poison down your throat. This is exciting and good, something to be proud of. A positive, not a negative.
When I've been hit with cravings this week, I tried to analyze them: Where do I feel it? In my mouth, my stomach? How interesting. It's just a physical sensation that I can analyze and dismiss. If you wait it out, it's surprising how fast it passes. You KNOW there's nothing in it that's good for you. It's an illusion! See it for what it is, and *poof* it loses its power.
Just some things that have helped me.
I get it. But hang in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 91
Thanks guys,
Hanging on to the memories of sitting at home almost calling paramedics because the anxiety is so bad, waiting to just keel over! The knot in my stomach that would turn into a washing machine now and again . The bile! The headache that needs nothing but to be slept off, that's if I can sleep with my heart beating out of my chest.
It's great to read this back ! I'm feeling pretty good right about now!
That's all I needed a big Hangover Reminder!
Hanging on to the memories of sitting at home almost calling paramedics because the anxiety is so bad, waiting to just keel over! The knot in my stomach that would turn into a washing machine now and again . The bile! The headache that needs nothing but to be slept off, that's if I can sleep with my heart beating out of my chest.
It's great to read this back ! I'm feeling pretty good right about now!
That's all I needed a big Hangover Reminder!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by Charli23 
I'm staying strong . Took an extra shift at work to keep busy but this is the first time this week it's been so bad.
I have to keep reminding myself how I felt on Sunday. Please help remind me how bad the day after is!!
I have to keep reminding myself how I felt on Sunday. Please help remind me how bad the day after is!!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
The worst thing that ever happened to me if I ignored my screaming AV?
It screamed a little more.
I learned to love it when my AV screams. That means it is in pain. After all that sumbeach stole from me it's the least it deserves.
Grip it and rip it. You've got this.
It screamed a little more.
I learned to love it when my AV screams. That means it is in pain. After all that sumbeach stole from me it's the least it deserves.
Grip it and rip it. You've got this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Charli23
Thanks guys,
Hanging on to the memories of sitting at home almost calling paramedics because the anxiety is so bad, waiting to just keel over! The knot in my stomach that would turn into a washing machine now and again . The bile! The headache that needs nothing but to be slept off, that's if I can sleep with my heart beating out of my chest.
It's great to read this back ! I'm feeling pretty good right about now!
That's all I needed a big Hangover Reminder!
Hanging on to the memories of sitting at home almost calling paramedics because the anxiety is so bad, waiting to just keel over! The knot in my stomach that would turn into a washing machine now and again . The bile! The headache that needs nothing but to be slept off, that's if I can sleep with my heart beating out of my chest.
It's great to read this back ! I'm feeling pretty good right about now!
That's all I needed a big Hangover Reminder!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Glad you made it through Charli23 💜
I made myself a video message on my phone a day or so after my last (11 hour) binge to remind my future self just how physically ill I had felt...but more importantly for me how psychologically and emotionally unwell I had felt. Watching this video is number 1# on my list of what to do when the thought of drinking enters my head. I also have a horrendous picture I took of myself hungover and when I look at it I can see the pain in my eyes. I am so grateful that I never have to feel like that again.
Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
I made myself a video message on my phone a day or so after my last (11 hour) binge to remind my future self just how physically ill I had felt...but more importantly for me how psychologically and emotionally unwell I had felt. Watching this video is number 1# on my list of what to do when the thought of drinking enters my head. I also have a horrendous picture I took of myself hungover and when I look at it I can see the pain in my eyes. I am so grateful that I never have to feel like that again.
Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
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