Lost.
 

I used to post somewhat regularly on here a few months ago when I set out on my sobriety crusade. I'd never tried to quit before, but thanks to a combination of health pressures and the kind support of everyone on SR, I managed to stay sober for almost 2 months. Then I went on all inclusive holiday (which was booked before I quit drinking) and needless to say, that ended that streak.

I knew I was on the verge of a full blown relapse when I got back, so I started smoking marijuana instead. I never really smoked much before, but thought I would give it a try as an alternative to the booze. I started to smoke strategically, like smoking before going into situations where there would be alcohol involved. It worked well at first, it was cheaper than alcohol, got me through the booze cravings and left me with no hangover. Seemed like win - win. Then I ended up smoking all the time, I could feel it taking over my life slowly. Soon I was pretty much smoking weed as a direct substitute to alcohol. I'll come home for work and the first thing I do now is light up, and then get completely baked until I pass out. Weekends are a haze of weed smoke. Today is the first day I've promised myself I'm not going to smoke weed in like 6 weeks.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me? When I read this post back to myself, I'm actually embarrassed that that's my life. I sound really pathetic, like a greedy child who can't handle being hold 'no'. Now I really don't know what to do. I've gotta cut down on the weed and not go back on the booze somehow. I always thought my problem was with alcohol specifically, now I don't even know anymore.

Sorry for the ramble, just feeling pretty demotivated and needed to vent.

Hi and welcoem back Pete :)

I would just cut down on the weed Pete - I'd cut it out all together.

A part of you is trying to convince you you can;t handle life straight and you need something to take the edge off - thats just not true.

Don't settle for second best - get rid of this addiction as you did the alcohol one - then you'll have a clear head to look at what void you've been trying to fill?

You can do this :)

D

Hi, Pete. Welcome back. I have never felt that substituting one addictive substance for another was a recipe for success.
Peace.