WeaverBird

30 days feels such a big achievement. I feel a strange calm. It's 10oclock Sunday morning. The sun's coming into my bedroom, crispy clean white duvet, birds singing blue sky perfect fluffy clouds going by dog on bed next to me, snoring gently. There's nothing wrong.
The only issue is this is a first. I've got to think about building a normal life right? I've never done that. Things just kept happening. It's quite exciting. But I feel a bit clueless. I'm certainly immature.
What do other people do? Someone asked what I used to do. Drink. Then what I'd love to do. And I have no reply. Not drink, that's for sure. But I don't know. How do you find out? How do you fill all this time? Will I just lie here.

joandmelandhan

Im just the same Weev! (45 days in for me). I suspect we've a lot to learn about living sober and not just "not drinking". I know I have anyway.....looking forward to travelling the journey with you friend lets see what life brings us!

WeaverBird

Hi jj- 45 days, pretty nice! Congrats on that.
I'm glad you're there. I was just thinking I'm gonna have to go back to basics like learning to cook or working out what I buy for a healthy balanced diet. I was expecting it to be a bit more exciting with a drumroll for doing so well. But no. Just as well because even getting out of bed and into the shower seems like an Assualt Course this morning. I'm nailed to the bed. Quite happy though.
I'm a bit obsessed everyone else is getting on and - look at dumb ole Weev, still on the benches. Grim face.
Still, sending love and hope to you!

Thebadger

Start with streighten ur body. Strong body causes strong mind. Go gym do bodybuilding. Take gym as part of ur life in few monts ull see difference. Ok and beside gym start with how you look like, todays societs its most important thing. Buy new clothes/ clean old ones. Go berbershop take care ur hair and facial hair. Take shower evryday use parfume woman like man who smells good. Ur self hygen is much important if you want to start over.

WeaverBird

Yes!!! This is exactly what I need help with. Doing all that will fill quite a bit of time and give me a bit of structure to the days. Improving inside and outside of of me. I personally don't think it matters what we look like after hurting ourselves for years with drink because we got sick but now it's part of self-esteem to look nicely presented and care for ourselves. Thank you very much.

Dee74

Congrats on 30 days !

I didn't have to think about it too much. I just wanted to be productive and try to make a difference, even in some really small way, every day.

Before I knew it my new life filled up with things that meant something to the new me.

My mind was unused to having to think of things to do. All i did for 20 years was open a bottle.

We can learn new pathways tho - and pretty fast.

so my one bit of advice would be - don't lie there, or sit there watching TV.

I did years of that, and I had to drink to try and make an existence like that tolerable,

You have a new start - use it..get the neurons firing

D

PhoenixJ

write a list- regardless of how silly or childish it seems...for 10 minutes without stopping. Then leave it for a bit- go back to it and highlight the ones you love- REGARDLESS OF HOW IMPOSSIBLE THEY SEEM.
Then do it- if you want to go to Florence but can't=- go to an art gallery, museum, library, see a play...
If you want to skydive- do it.
I always wanted to write and paint (pictures- not houses) - so now I do. I research intensively about CBT and how to improve myself. I go to meetings and try to do productive stuff every day- REGARDLESS of how small it is.
Just do it.

Carpathia

Weev, congratulations.

Isn't life beautiful when you see it with sober eyes?

You may find the days quickly fill with whatever you bring to your recovery.

You may hear this from others and I hope you hear it often: bring love and compassion to yourself each day!

It's eye-opening to me all the areas in my life I neglected due to drinking and hiding. The process of reclaiming my life has been gradual.

August252015

Glad you're here!

I had to do baby steps - once I quit drinking, it was get well and start living. At the beginning, I was so sick that my "to do" lists (and yes I started them early on) were things like 1 shower 2 eat twice 3 do laundry. The habit of writing ANYTHING down and crossing it off began the life of activity and accomplishment I have today (at 15+ mo aka 468 days)....it takes TIME!

Are you on a program of recovery? AA is my path and it has definitely provided specific things to "do" during the day- meetings (my sweet spot now is 4-6 a week), daily readings in the Big Book and other devotional/recovery/spiritual sources, a network of sober people to talk to and spend time with. Like Dee said- a life overhaul and new kind of existence has been what I have so happily and gratefully found.

Now, for example - the "to do" list my fiance and I have for our three days off together includes visiting his grandmother, a date night, getting his yard/house better set for sale, specific errands, dog to the park, running together, cooking at home two nights....you get the idea.

For me, I can do anything and most everything I want in life now that I am sober. I feel good and sleep well, I work a busy schedule at a restaurant, we run a 5K every month and I just started regular yoga, I see friends, I know lead a (non AA) recovery group.....I am full of hope and all kinds of pink good stuff.

You can do it- one step and one day and one "thing to do" at a time.

HTown

I started going through all of the drawers and closets in the house. I am organizing like crazy. Throwing away, rearranging. Framed some family photos, gave away some books, you get the idea.

I also started cooking for myself. I was never a good cook, but I learned a lot over the years watching others. I started riding my bike again. I read a lot. Anyway, a list of wishes like Phoenix says, excercise like badger mentioned and appearance is a great idea too.

You can do this! Congrats on a sober morning.

WeaverBird

I just wanted to say a proper thank you for to all the people who wrote here. It's taken me ten days to do this list. In the depths of my drinking someone said to me "you're a nothing person" and it hit home not in the sense they meant but because I thought there was nothing I wanted or loved. But there's about 60 things on the list. So not a nothing person. He was wrong.

I'll go back to it later tonight.

Love to everyone, sober and trying.

PhoenixJ

Dee74

good to hear from you Weevl

D