No methadone day 23
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 4
No methadone day 23
First time here....or anywhere for that matter. Just wanted to put this out there simply because of all the horror stories I've read. First off, I'm 43. Had back surgery at 35. Started with dilaudid the to heroin. Got up to roughly a gram a day. Hell to be totally honest I started iv when 21. Basically got tired of the junkie hustle. Anyway sorry for the rant. I started methadone about 2 years ago . My blocking dose was 120mg. So about 9 months ago I started to taper and my last dose was 7.5 mg 23 days ago. The first 12 days I might have got 12 hours of sleep altogether. Now at 23 I'm sleeping 4-6 hours a night. I'm a chef So i put in long days on my feet. The first 3 weeks of my detox I worked 150 hours. It my head stay busy but exhausting with no sleep. The diarrhea was bad for one day but I've taken Imodium pretty aggressively (mainly because I make a living cooking food). The sneaking sucks. All in all its not near as bad as I expected. My last week on methadone I decreased pretty rapidly...2.5mg per day. Then stopped at 7.5. Figured I was ready and already experiencing wd symptoms. For anyone who took the time to read this.... it only gets better. Push the next minute to the hour... Then to the day. Hell... 3 years ago I in the gutter like the rain water . Homeless... Now I'm back on my feet and running my own life. It's a battle but if I can do it so can you.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
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Hi Slickone, welcome to SR! Wow, sounds like a rough journey but you sound like you are doing much better! Do you have a good recovery plan and some good supports? And good for you getting this far. 
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Well first and foremost...i made sure my family and work was aware of my. In my head that keeps me accountable. I was married for 17 years and my spouse knew nothing. I lived 2 lives and it was exhausting. The demise of the marriage was probably mostly my fault but she wasn't true to me therefore I abused myself. I now am with my soulmate. We hit bottom together and got clean together. She will be done with methadone in probably a month. As for now we take it day by day. N.a. meetings are out of the question since 2 of my dealers hold chair positions .
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Well first and foremost...i made sure my family and work was aware of my. In my head that keeps me accountable. I was married for 17 years and my spouse knew nothing. I lived 2 lives and it was exhausting. The demise of the marriage was probably mostly my fault but she wasn't true to me therefore I abused myself. I now am with my soulmate. We hit bottom together and got clean together. She will be done with methadone in probably a month. As for now we take it day by day. N.a. meetings are out of the question since 2 of my dealers hold chair positions .
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 88
Hi Sickone,
Sounds like you're doing pretty well, especially now at 23 days coming off a pretty high methadone dose. At the very least, you should be well past the worst of the physical WD's. I was on a low dose of methadone (only 10-15mg) for a couple of years. I remember when I got off, the only thing that ever occurred to me was getting past the physical WD's, which really weren't all that terrible at that dose. I didn't consider myself an addict at that time (because I could stop.. and I did), but it took me years to realize it wasn't that simple. I never really stopped to look at myself and why I was using, and I never came up with a plan to deal with future cravings. I managed to moderate pills and alcohol for a few years afterwards, only taking painkillers or benzos on special occasions, like they were some kind of treat or reward (very erronous thinking on my part). I mean, hey.. I could moderate, so I wasn't an addict! But still, it was always in my head, and I never truly learned how to deal with life without some mind altering chemical. I wasn't particularly happy in-between my occasional splurges, but I pretty much blamed it on everything but myself. Eventually, I gravitated towards something that I felt was a little more benign (tramadol). Not exactly true. It was sort of my little compromise with myself. It had less of a high but has been a real b**** to get off of. That lasted about 8-9 years. And then eventually add in 2-3 years of adderall and various benzos and sleeping pills. Towards the end, my mind and moods were always being altered by something. I was an addict, and did not know how to cope with life on life's terms anymore.
I'm just saying that for many who are on long term opiates, there comes a point where you are pretty much past the physical withdraws, and you might start feelking 'ok', but a a little 'blah' or bored. When that happens, it is best to have some type of plan in place so you can be prepared to battle the temptation you might have to fill it with something else (some other drug or addiction). Many go through this period. You might be 100% commited, and ready to be done with drugs for good. I have no idea. But I agree with others that it's good to have some kind of support/plan in place. NA isn't the only option, but maybe consider going to a different meeting? Not sure where you're at, but in my area there is about 10-15 meeting locations across town. Lots of good support and info on here as well! Best of luck to you!
Sounds like you're doing pretty well, especially now at 23 days coming off a pretty high methadone dose. At the very least, you should be well past the worst of the physical WD's. I was on a low dose of methadone (only 10-15mg) for a couple of years. I remember when I got off, the only thing that ever occurred to me was getting past the physical WD's, which really weren't all that terrible at that dose. I didn't consider myself an addict at that time (because I could stop.. and I did), but it took me years to realize it wasn't that simple. I never really stopped to look at myself and why I was using, and I never came up with a plan to deal with future cravings. I managed to moderate pills and alcohol for a few years afterwards, only taking painkillers or benzos on special occasions, like they were some kind of treat or reward (very erronous thinking on my part). I mean, hey.. I could moderate, so I wasn't an addict! But still, it was always in my head, and I never truly learned how to deal with life without some mind altering chemical. I wasn't particularly happy in-between my occasional splurges, but I pretty much blamed it on everything but myself. Eventually, I gravitated towards something that I felt was a little more benign (tramadol). Not exactly true. It was sort of my little compromise with myself. It had less of a high but has been a real b**** to get off of. That lasted about 8-9 years. And then eventually add in 2-3 years of adderall and various benzos and sleeping pills. Towards the end, my mind and moods were always being altered by something. I was an addict, and did not know how to cope with life on life's terms anymore.
I'm just saying that for many who are on long term opiates, there comes a point where you are pretty much past the physical withdraws, and you might start feelking 'ok', but a a little 'blah' or bored. When that happens, it is best to have some type of plan in place so you can be prepared to battle the temptation you might have to fill it with something else (some other drug or addiction). Many go through this period. You might be 100% commited, and ready to be done with drugs for good. I have no idea. But I agree with others that it's good to have some kind of support/plan in place. NA isn't the only option, but maybe consider going to a different meeting? Not sure where you're at, but in my area there is about 10-15 meeting locations across town. Lots of good support and info on here as well! Best of luck to you!
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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I am committed. I've rode the needle for 20 years. Started with coke them meth....dilaudid oxy then found H. I had 500 some odd days clean (with the exception of prescribed methadone) and soon realized all would be for nothing if I couldn't pry my head head from my anus. I did. The worst part of the deal is I have kids. As a functional addict I still put them first. As well as they are older. 15 and 18. I actually was granted 50-50 custody and my youngest wants to be with me fulltime. Which is why I chose to get off methadone. Where I live it costs 12 bucks a day. So for me and my girl is 700 per month. My kids are older and can get by so this might sound awful but I got a dog. He needs me to survive and since I've been clean I found I need him. ....what other meetings would anyone recommend???
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 88
It sounds like you've been trough quite a bit, and are ready to be done with it all. That's good to hear! I think getting a dog is great, as well. Of course, there will still be plenty of challenges ahead, and dealing with things sober can be somewhat challenging for a while (which I'm sure you have considered). As far as meetings, I was just referring to 'other' NA meetings in your area, besides the ones that your dealers attend. The only other meetings I know of are SMART recovery meetings, but they can be a little more difficult to find, especially in smaller cities. I know there is LOADS of good information and tools on this site. Some of the things that have been helping me early on: Getting outdoors and reconnecting with nature, reconnecting with people.. new and old friends, reading books on recovery, trying to keep busy, this site, and meetings. Meditation has been great as well. There are many guided meditations that are available on youtube, or that can be downloaded as an app. The one that I've been using which I really like is an app called 'Calm'.
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