littlesongbird

do you ever take a picture of yourself and your like - i dont even recognize myself.

thomas11

Yes. And in my younger years I was almost a professional bodybuilder. About a year ago I decided to do something about it and went on a mission. I'm no fitness model, but I feel better about myself and know that my health is in check.

I don't think its helpful to think of yourself as ugly and fat littlesongbird. You are a person that has value, just like the rest of us. Maybe make your physical fitness a project that you can work on for awhile? that's what I did and its kind of fun.

least

I used to think of myself as ugly, but now I'm kinder to myself and no longer indulge in negative thinking.

littlesongbird

Yeah. I defiantly need to make it a project.

thomas11

The fun thing about making your fitness a project is that it never ends. If you have questions about diet or working out please PM me.

Mizzuno

No. I dont.
Also, critiquing your self in this way is detrimental to well being. Finding empowering messages of self love and worth will only serve to be a positive on your journey to sobriety.

Anna

These are some really good responses littlesongbird. I think many of us addicts have gone through feeling miserable about how look. But, as others have said, positive thinking is so very important. And, being beautiful on the inside is the most important thing.

HopeandFaith1

Hi Littlesongbird. I really think that when you quit drinking you will gradually feel better on the inside, which will improve the way you look on the outside. Almost every one of my pictures while I was drinking made me look gross, especially towards the end. My pictures are much better now but looking at the old ones makes me kind of sad. I should have been nicer to that person I was. Maybe then I wouldn't have suffered for so long.

I never knew a genuinely happy person who wasn't beautiful. Start being kinder and gentler to that girl you see in the pictures, instead of criticism try to have some compassion and I think your pictures and your feelings towards yourself will change for the better. Sending you big hugs and lots of understanding.

SnazzyDresser

I try to think of myself as a team, where there's me my brain, me my body, me my spirit/soul, the various mental versions of myself I carry around and operate on, etc. Then I try to get them all working together toward the same goals. And if one of them starts getting negative, the others will encourage him and get him back to doing his best for the team.

JudicatorPanzer

No.

Delizadee

I saw some pictures of myself the other day archived on my phone from about 3 years ago around the worst of my drinking career, I always feel a little startled at the puffy face and a little ashamed at how the drinking puff face was much different than the heavier set, sober me.

It took some real, consistent recovery work for me to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Some days are better than others, but this is the body I inhabit and the brain that runs it, so I best treat it with respect and kindness.

Part of living sober and healthy is loving yourself, and turning that internal dialogue you keep with yourself takes some daily work just like keeping up with recovery. Learning how to love ourselves and find validation and worth inside of us, for ourselves is part of our journey.

I find that, the gifts I have been given so far in recovery, have really helped me grow empathy and love for myself, kindness and caring, and and the desire to, like thomas says, to make little self-improvement projects.
Little things to make myself better, one thing at a time, nothing too big. Have a nice bath, get a haircut, paint my nails, get a new workout out fit or just a nice new outfit; yoga, meditation and positive affirmations are great! Splurge on some mani/pedis spa days, buy yourself a treat or a gift or even flowers just because. Be your own best friend.

If it's early days and you're still feeling pretty raw, get lots of rest, hydrate well, eat as well as you can manage, move a little, get fresh air, read something positive if you can manage, and lean on the people who understand and care.
Fat and ugly are two four letter words your need to banish from your vocabulary.

Ever looked at yourself in the mirror, in the eyes, and told yourself, "I love you"?
Try it. You deserve to love yourself. So I'm sending you love and hugs, it's going to get better- it always gets better, if we keep working at it. It's an inside job first.

livinginhope

I hate pictures of myself. I put on a lot of weight from massive beer and liquor consumption, and I'm having trouble getting it off. It all seems to go to my face, which to me looks horrible.

I know that I need to be kinder to myself and I'm working on that. Along with all the other things in my life I am attempting to fix.

joandmelandhan

I definitely weigh more now I have stopped drinking (about 20lb). When I drank I didn't really eat enough.....got in the way of the buzz (cringe). I am eating more sweet stuff and definitely feel chubby. But I shower every day, I clean my teeth every day, I can look in the mirror and see eyes that look clearer......so all in all that'll do for me. Chubby but sober...... healthier eating will come soon I hope xxx

BatholithBabe

This came across my feed this morning. I think it might be appropos here. Externals are ****, internal world - the frickin' cat's meow!

BatholithBabe

Well said!

BatholithBabe

What she said!

gatorman

Not really.

Thebadger

There is no ugly woman in earth. All woman are flowers. Quit ur addiction, do exercises, lost a bit weight thats it.

JimiC

Littlesongbird, not sure if you're seeing a therapist of some kind but I think that would help. So many insightful and supportive respsonses, fantastic people here.

FreeOwl

yeah, sometimes I do. Even now. I try to be aware of that sort of thinking, and then respond to it with more self acceptance and love.

engaging in therapy with honesty about these sorts of thoughts and feelings has been really helpful.