4 weeks

Old 06-02-2017, 03:17 PM
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WeaverBird's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
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4 weeks

I've been finding it hard to post, to get to meetings, to talk to my sponsor for a couple of days. I seem to be very self-conscious all of a sudden. My first tendency is to isolate myself probably because after years of solid drinking I'd decided I'm not worth much to anyone.

I turned down another 'girls night out'. I've been sad about letting friends go but I have had a change of heart and realise I can only socialise like that drunk and I just don't want to. Unfortunately, I haven't built anything to take its place yet, don't know how to. I've probably been turning my back on meaningful relationships all along by drinking.

Major breakthrough though. At my meeting tonight, I noticed the mental confusion has lifted enough for me to talk to people. I also shared, said who knows what, dried up mid-sentence, swore like a trucker, and then asked if I'd killed the meeting in the complete echoing silence which followed. Someone said I wasn't important enough to do that, causing much laughter. It sounds bizarre writing it out now, but after that I felt happy because it was a group moment and I've never felt part of anything before.

After 4 weeks, I am forgetting the hell of withdrawal and I have come face to face with me, and it feels priceless, and I'd hate to lose this chance by drinking.

Thinking of you all tonight, here and overseas. Stay well.
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Old 06-02-2017, 03:26 PM
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Hey Weev,

Congrats on 4 weeks! Be proud of yourself, you're doing great. Glad you spoke at the meeting tonight. Every time you speak up, you'll find it will get easier.

Having mood swings is pretty normal. Why not plan something fun for yourself this weekend to pull you out of your funk? Is there a project you've been thinking about doing?

Hang in there, "this too shall pass"!
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Old 06-02-2017, 03:41 PM
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Location: East Coast USA
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You have made very good progress in these four weeks and made some fantastic and very wise decisions, Weev.

Just keep making decisions that support the better and beautiful life that awaits you in recovery.

You are doing so well.
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