I'm Terrified
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Getting through the weekend is tough. Yes, I want to drink, but it's more than that. The crippling anxiety, the fear, the worst-case scenarios rushing through my mind. These are the things I need to work on. These are part of the reasons I spent most of my life drunk.
Deep breaths. This too, as they say, shall pass.
Deep breaths. This too, as they say, shall pass.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Thanks.
I made it through another night without a drink. It was a tough one. I just need to get tomorrow over with. I hate the thought of going to get my personal effects. This person is a bully and is perhaps the most hateful individual I have ever encountered. Thank God it is on a military base where no violence or threats of violence are tolerated. I'm going to insist that the dept head accompanies me in to get my things.
I should be stronger, I know, but even after 246 days of sobriety, I am very sensitive and vulnerable.
Someone told me that I can probably get on at another place, but it will be a mandatory sixty hours a week. I don't know if I can do that. What kind of life would it be? I'll do what I have to in order to survive, but I'm hoping to find something more reasonable.
I know, we build things up and imagine the worst scenarios, and it usually is't nearly as bad as we dreaded it would be.
I'll get through this in sobriety and end up on top.
I made it through another night without a drink. It was a tough one. I just need to get tomorrow over with. I hate the thought of going to get my personal effects. This person is a bully and is perhaps the most hateful individual I have ever encountered. Thank God it is on a military base where no violence or threats of violence are tolerated. I'm going to insist that the dept head accompanies me in to get my things.
I should be stronger, I know, but even after 246 days of sobriety, I am very sensitive and vulnerable.
Someone told me that I can probably get on at another place, but it will be a mandatory sixty hours a week. I don't know if I can do that. What kind of life would it be? I'll do what I have to in order to survive, but I'm hoping to find something more reasonable.
I know, we build things up and imagine the worst scenarios, and it usually is't nearly as bad as we dreaded it would be.
I'll get through this in sobriety and end up on top.
Let HR know you are quitting specifically bc of your boss. They need to know. Have you kept documentation of his incidents/outbursts? You won't be burning any bridges and management needs to know in case any of your other coworkers come foward. Don't be afraid. Good luck.
~Bunnez
~Bunnez
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
I was stressed and sleepless last night, knowing I had to go face whatever was to come. It was a rough night, but I didn't drink. It was never really an option, but I was tempted. I can't lie.
This morning I told myself two things:
1: Whatever happens, I do not have to take abuse from that toxic individual again. Period.
2: I never have to drink again. No matter how stressed and scared I get.
I went to management and they were sympathetic, but without witnesses or documentation, there was little they could do. They expressed regret and sorrow, and wanted me to stay, but they saw my determination. So it goes.
I got together with a friend after, and he said how glad he was that I didn't drink. He suggested that the whole experience was my addiction throwing everything it had at me in order to get me to drink. Not literally, of course, but figuratively.
So, around one in the afternoon I got a call from a company I know of and applied at. They asked me to come down.
Long story short, they hired me on the spot. They're offering me a pretty decent package. A little less than I was making, but better benefits. I start work again on Wednesday. Dang, I was hoping for a couple more days off!
The moral, for me at least, is that I don't have to put up with abuse or hostility from anyone. As I've heard others say, my sobriety is hard won, and it isn't worth it. I was scared--scared out of my wits, but I made the move. It took courage, but I did it.
I almost broke down and cried when I was getting hugs from people as I made some goodbyes. I made some good friends there, and most had an idea what I was going through. They ALL told me how proud they were of me for making a stand.
And, yes, I explained it all to not only the HR officer, but the Project Manager. He was very interested to hear it, and he said that he understood where I was coming from, and wished I had come forth sooner. I replied that I felt it would have made matters ten times worse. He nodded his head. He also said that he would investigate the matter.
And so now my commute will be much shorter, I can sleep until six instead of dragging myself up at 4:30, and I feel very good about this new job. I also know one of the guys there, and he thinks a lot of both me and my work, so I have that comfort factor going in.
Thanks, thanks, to everyone.
This morning I told myself two things:
1: Whatever happens, I do not have to take abuse from that toxic individual again. Period.
2: I never have to drink again. No matter how stressed and scared I get.
I went to management and they were sympathetic, but without witnesses or documentation, there was little they could do. They expressed regret and sorrow, and wanted me to stay, but they saw my determination. So it goes.
I got together with a friend after, and he said how glad he was that I didn't drink. He suggested that the whole experience was my addiction throwing everything it had at me in order to get me to drink. Not literally, of course, but figuratively.
So, around one in the afternoon I got a call from a company I know of and applied at. They asked me to come down.
Long story short, they hired me on the spot. They're offering me a pretty decent package. A little less than I was making, but better benefits. I start work again on Wednesday. Dang, I was hoping for a couple more days off!
The moral, for me at least, is that I don't have to put up with abuse or hostility from anyone. As I've heard others say, my sobriety is hard won, and it isn't worth it. I was scared--scared out of my wits, but I made the move. It took courage, but I did it.
I almost broke down and cried when I was getting hugs from people as I made some goodbyes. I made some good friends there, and most had an idea what I was going through. They ALL told me how proud they were of me for making a stand.
And, yes, I explained it all to not only the HR officer, but the Project Manager. He was very interested to hear it, and he said that he understood where I was coming from, and wished I had come forth sooner. I replied that I felt it would have made matters ten times worse. He nodded his head. He also said that he would investigate the matter.
And so now my commute will be much shorter, I can sleep until six instead of dragging myself up at 4:30, and I feel very good about this new job. I also know one of the guys there, and he thinks a lot of both me and my work, so I have that comfort factor going in.
Thanks, thanks, to everyone.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Way to go livinginhope 🎉🎉🎉
My heart went out to you when I read how desperate, sad and scared you were. With a sincere heart I am so pleased that things worked out for you 💜
Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
My heart went out to you when I read how desperate, sad and scared you were. With a sincere heart I am so pleased that things worked out for you 💜
Wishing you well on the rest of your recovery journey x
I'm sorry for your situation. Perhaps you should ask your Higher Power to guide your thinking. If it was me i would begin looking for a new job. Just know that if you stay sober you will succeed. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Thanks everyone!
I tried to make the point of this thread not to be, Oh man I need a new job!, but dealing with a crisis while in recovery. Getting off alcohol is bad enough but when life sends us a nastygram while in the midst of it, that's when things get really tough.
I hope some of you bought some stock in Valerian and Chamomile Tea. You would have made some money.
I tried to make the point of this thread not to be, Oh man I need a new job!, but dealing with a crisis while in recovery. Getting off alcohol is bad enough but when life sends us a nastygram while in the midst of it, that's when things get really tough.
I hope some of you bought some stock in Valerian and Chamomile Tea. You would have made some money.
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