Hello All
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 19
Hello All
Hello,
So, I suppose I am indeed just starting my journey toward sobriety. And it's kind of scary. It's taken a lot of admitting that most of the problems in my life will pass...that I'm fully able to take care of them (with time and effort)...and that the alcohol is the one thing that's been a real problem.
I tried the cutting back thing for a few months, but at the end of the day it ended with me just being unable to say no to another drink. And so on and so forth. Until I had had a lot of them. I just got off the phone with my Dad who is a huge support in my life, and gave him the unedited version of what's been going on in my life the last few months. It was difficult, but worth it.
Right now I'm just struggling with feeling like a monster. I slipped up and drank way too much last night...again...for what feels like the 100th time over the last 8-9 months. It's driving my girlfriend crazy. We've been together most our lives and I don't want to lose her. But back to the monster thing. I can pick 10 times yesterday I could have not ended up in the situation drinking that I did if I had just said or done something differently. But I didn't. And I just wish I could go back in time and make that different decision. Recently, my relationship with my girlfriend had been mending and I think I was really showing her I wouldn't keep doing this to her. And then I did. I wish I could take it back and make a different decision yesterday than I did. How do I get over that feeling and live with what I did? I feel like a monster, and want to cry all day.
So, I suppose I am indeed just starting my journey toward sobriety. And it's kind of scary. It's taken a lot of admitting that most of the problems in my life will pass...that I'm fully able to take care of them (with time and effort)...and that the alcohol is the one thing that's been a real problem.
I tried the cutting back thing for a few months, but at the end of the day it ended with me just being unable to say no to another drink. And so on and so forth. Until I had had a lot of them. I just got off the phone with my Dad who is a huge support in my life, and gave him the unedited version of what's been going on in my life the last few months. It was difficult, but worth it.
Right now I'm just struggling with feeling like a monster. I slipped up and drank way too much last night...again...for what feels like the 100th time over the last 8-9 months. It's driving my girlfriend crazy. We've been together most our lives and I don't want to lose her. But back to the monster thing. I can pick 10 times yesterday I could have not ended up in the situation drinking that I did if I had just said or done something differently. But I didn't. And I just wish I could go back in time and make that different decision. Recently, my relationship with my girlfriend had been mending and I think I was really showing her I wouldn't keep doing this to her. And then I did. I wish I could take it back and make a different decision yesterday than I did. How do I get over that feeling and live with what I did? I feel like a monster, and want to cry all day.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by TamraMaew 
How do I get over that feeling and live with what I did? I feel like a monster, and want to cry all day.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Welcome to SR, TamraMaew. Sounds like you would lke to make a change. Chances of success are greatly enhanced when we have a recovery program.
Whether it's AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, or counselling and therapy, sources of support are key to maintaining sobriety.
The time to stop drinking is now. The longer you wait, the more damage is done, and it's far harder to stop.
Good luck.
Whether it's AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, or counselling and therapy, sources of support are key to maintaining sobriety.
The time to stop drinking is now. The longer you wait, the more damage is done, and it's far harder to stop.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
You can't change the past. The only way for an alcoholic to live with the drunken mistakes of his past is too not repeat them. Get sober. Stay sober. The shame of yesterday will fade over time.
Originally Posted by Maudcat
Welcome to SR, TamraMaew. Sounds like you would lke to make a change. Chances of success are greatly enhanced when we have a recovery program.
Whether it's AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, or counselling and therapy, sources of support are key to maintaining sobriety.
The time to stop drinking is now. The longer you wait, the more damage is done, and it's far harder to stop.
Good luck.
Whether it's AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, or counselling and therapy, sources of support are key to maintaining sobriety.
The time to stop drinking is now. The longer you wait, the more damage is done, and it's far harder to stop.
Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi and welcome TamraMaew 
The really good news is you never have to feel this way again
We can;t undo the decisions we made in the past but we an make the right ones today tomorrow and from now on
There's great support here - hope to see you around some more
D
The really good news is you never have to feel this way again
We can;t undo the decisions we made in the past but we an make the right ones today tomorrow and from now on
There's great support here - hope to see you around some more
D
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