SunnyDenver

Hi All, I've been a serial relapser but am on Day 4 again. Moving to a new city Friday across the country with some anxieties about that, but I've pledged to myself to do things differently this time and hit up an AA meeting my first day there. I'm a loner and have isolated, that's what my AV wants, but that's not working for me so I'll do something different.

Pretty rough Days 1-3, massive sweats, weak, no appetite, things running right thru me and sleepless nights. Feeling way better today, eating like a horse but that's ok. Also feeling much less anxiety and more confident things will be ok.

I had breakfast at a local place this morning and sat at the bar. (Drank water!) I watched as this woman with a chihuahua downed three glasses of wine in an hour while another guy with some drinks in him wandered off and never came back and left his wallet and keys on the bar. Honestly the sight of the woman drinking at 10am made me feel nauseous, because I could relate to how crappy she'd feel by lunchtime. I'll take that as progress FWIW.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on day 4 SunnyDenver. It is pretty appalling to see some of our own past behaviors carried out by others, isn't it? Glad you were able to turn it into something positive.

VigilanceNow

Way to go on day 4! For me days 1-3 were always the worst. Hitting up a meeting the first day is an excellent idea. Moving across the country can make you feel like a different person, but I have to remind myself that wherever we go, we take ourselves with us. That's a mistake I've made countless times. Now wherever I go, I know there's a place for me in AA, and that is beautiful :-)

Bobbieka

Good luck on your move, SunnyDenver! I think beginning with AA is a great step to a new life.

SunnyDenver

It sure is...a great reminder why to never, ever go back. Strange, but when I quit smoking years ago, at some point it became so repulsive to me I almost gag when I smell cigarette smoke now.

Dee74

Hi Sunny Denver
I'd probably look around for other places to eat for a while.

I understand today it was ok and you were able to maintain an aversion to drinking, but Day 4 and being in a bar really doesn't compute if you're a drink like me.

D

SunnyDenver

Yep, hear you Dee74! It was a breakfast place and I sat at the counter, but they had lots of alcohol for mimosas and bloody Marys behind the counter...

It's interesting how situational drinking is for me. If I'm not feeling stressed or lonely I can stare a bottle of booze in the face and not want it. But if something throws me off emotionally the bottle was my first and best friend. I realize how much I isolated over the past several years...I need to connect with people by getting out of my own head to help others.