wildflower70

Hey SR...

I could use some support today! I am now sober for 4 weeks, and I feel great! I have no urges to drink (or use anything), and am staying on track with my plan....posting here, practicing self care, online classes to ease boredom, and enjoying the "simple" things in life...sober.
I have a friend who doesn't drink, but he smokes and consumes (weed brownies) a lot of weed. He is always pushing the stuff on me, and in the past, I was certainly fair game. However, it now annoys me that he keeps saying how much better weed is, rather than booze. I tell him that I am sober, and in my opinion, he is not. He drives stoned (even a boat), and wants me to tag along. Can someone really claim to be 'sober" if they are eating weed brownies all day long? And, what gives him the right to act superior over me, just because my vice was the bottle? I swear, this is beginning to feel like a trigger to me....one I should avoid!

Please share your thoughts on how to handle this guy....thanks!!

jazzfish

I believe in the idea that we teach others how to treat us. There is nothing wrong with moving on from friends who don't support us in our life choices.

Maudcat

I agree that weed is a drug and addictive, and I wouldn't get in a car or a boat with someone who has been smoking or eating.
Sometimes when we change up our lives by kicking alcohol to the curb--good for you on 4 weeks, btw--we also find that some of our friends really aren't good for our sobriety.
This sounds lke one of those times.
Peace.

Zebra1275

Trading one substance abuse problem for another is a poor idea.

Mizzuno

Its your choice as to how you look at marijuana and alcohol. It is your choice to abstain from both. Creating a boundary with your friend/ family is essential. Acting superior is a character trait and not necessarily one that is isolated with use. In my opinion, tell your friend that you do not want him to offer you marijuana and you would appreciate it if he would stop.

gregknight

...and so easy for alcoholics to fall into. Whether it's another drug or food or sex or gambling, etc., addicts like myself can become expert addicts of another substance, in a heartbeat. I learned that the hard way.

Dee74

I think weed, and weed promoting friends , are pretty dangerous for anyone in early recovery.

D

Nia1971

I'm not advocating either.
But seriously.. which is the lesser of two evils ?

FreedomCA

I do think that your friend is correct in that weed is by far the less harmful drug when compared to alcohol. I also do think that you should avoid weed if you are trying to be sober. I would simply tell your friend that you think he is correct about weed being the lesser evil but that you would also like him to respect your decision to avoid all mind altering substances in your sobriety. And hopefully you can stay friends.😀

Dee74

Gotta say, I understand people's right to an opinion, and not having a go directly at the last two posters but it really irritates me when people say pot is the lesser of two evils, especially here in this forum.

I destroyed my life as completely on pot as I did on alcohol later on.

Alcohol was definitely harder to give up physically but I think pot may actually be harder to give up mentally in the sense that we're literally bombarded with how benign, natural, and just plain awesome it is.

I accept that I was the problem, not the drugs...but any idea that abuse of marijuana is not possible, or somehow lesser than abuse of other drugs is just plain wrong IMO.

In a choice between two evils the healthy choice is neither.


D (also the mod of the marijuana forum here)

FreedomCA

Sorry if you were irritated by my response, Dee. I hope you understand that I was just answering honestly my opinion to the poster's question. I would have been being dishonest if I answered differently. I appreciate your response, however.

hellrzr

Speak the word Brother Dee!

It's simple, you are not sober, in any context, if you smoke dope. Perhaps your friends goal is not to be sober but just to not drink and that's fine if that's what they want. If they are claiming sobriety though they are wrong. Soooo many people fall into this trap and it always take them right back to the loading dock of the crazy train. You see this "marijuana maintenance" a lot in AA and it never ends well.

Nia1971

As I said .. I wasn't advocating either.. but alcohol has destroyed my life in ways that weed never could. Ironic ..because alcohol, for me, is definitely the easier one to give up.

FreedomCA

I've never liked weed because it makes me hungry and gain weight. Plus I have never really liked the feeling of being stoned.

If I could choose one or the other for my husband who does both, I would definitely choose weed. I'd rather him be checked out and stoned versus verbally abusing me. I obviously would prefer him to be sober from both.😀

duane1

I made the mistake of switching addictions from alcohol to weed when I quit drinking 5 years ago. At first, I couldn't see the harm it was doing to me. I even became a strong advocate of it.
However, over the course of a couple years my addiction grew. My use became chronic. With it came some very negative consequences. My memory was suspect. I started becoming angry all the time. I started not liking anyone and became very withdrawn. All I wanted to do is sit in isolation and smoke. At first I didn't even recognize that weed was causing it until I got on some forums and saw that other people were having the same problems. Since I have recognized it, I am on my third attempt to quit. I am on 3.5 months weed free. It isn't easy to quit and like alcohol, One time will bring you right back in. Don't use weed. You will regret it.

ScottFromWI

I have an acquaintance who is on the "marijuana maintenance plan" too. Bottom line for me is that I abused anything I can get my hands on, so pot is a no-no for me as well. Whether it's "less dangerous" than alcohol is kind of irrelevant because neither is good for me. I have friend that use coke "recreationally" too...doesn't mean I should.

Nia1971

So are the forum users here, on prescription meds etc., also unable to claim true sobriety ??

Anna

I think it's always best to focus on my own recovery and allow others to focus on theirs. Recovery is a personal journey.

FreedomCA

That is very true, Anna. And I would also like to add that it's probably best that someone lists the substance(s) they are sober from for clarity. Otherwise there can be a lot of confusion.