Scared and confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Scared and confused
I just found out that my boyfriend of almost 3 years did coke last weekend. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. I don't know how to react so at the moment I haven't reacted at all. My parents are prescription drug addicts so the thought of any drug scares me. I don't understand the need for it because it just destroys everything. I don't know what hurts more.. the fact he did it or the fact he lied to me. I saw him do it at a party about 6 months back and he acted like it was nothing. I told him how it made me feel and he said it was a one time deal. He accidentally let it slip to one of his friends yesterday that he did it again this weekend. Does this mean he does it all the time and I just don't know? I'm confused and scared. He acts like its nothing, but after dealing with my parents overdoses, he may as well be telling me he's attempted suicide when he does coke. Do I believe that he doesn't do it on a regular basis? There have been no negative signs.... I can't imagine a life being around it and he's talking marriage. I don't know what to do or how to even talk to him about it. I don't want him to not talk to me, so I don't want to be a jerk about it. I don't know Whaty to say or do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Shay,
I think the best thing you can do is talk to him. Say you found out, and let him explain himself, and if he says it s a one of thing every now and then, and everything else between you is fine, I would trust him.
This may sound crazy, especially coming from someone who had a coke problem a few years ago, but I know plenty of people who do it every few months and are fine with it.
Also what I can tell you for sure is that if he is or starts don't by too much, you will notice very clear changes in his behaviour, but pushing back in a confrontational way will not make him stop doing it, in my case it actually drove me to becoming a master at hiding it and doing more and more as a result.
In summary my advice is don't panic, talk to him, make it clear you are worried, set clear boundaries and see how things play out.
P
I think the best thing you can do is talk to him. Say you found out, and let him explain himself, and if he says it s a one of thing every now and then, and everything else between you is fine, I would trust him.
This may sound crazy, especially coming from someone who had a coke problem a few years ago, but I know plenty of people who do it every few months and are fine with it.
Also what I can tell you for sure is that if he is or starts don't by too much, you will notice very clear changes in his behaviour, but pushing back in a confrontational way will not make him stop doing it, in my case it actually drove me to becoming a master at hiding it and doing more and more as a result.
In summary my advice is don't panic, talk to him, make it clear you are worried, set clear boundaries and see how things play out.
P
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,464
It sounds like the cocaine is a deal-breaker for you. If that is true, then you should explain your feelings to him. But, you need to be prepared for the fact he may not think it's necessary to give up the cocaine.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
