2muchpain

Well, it's summer time. Don't work during the summer so plenty of time on my hands. No structure. Haven't had a sober summer in a real long time. Just haven't figured out a way to do it. Sitting around my apartment watching TV and playing on my computer gets old after a while. Going to the gym helps but isn't enough. Going to movies helps some. Might try meetups.com. Can't hurt any. Weekend trips might help also. Trying to come up with a new hobby, but can't think of anything. There's a nature preserve next door but can't figure out the interest in it.
Boredom and time on my hands isn't a reason to drink cause there isn't any. But boredom can drive a person nuts. Gotta fill it with something. At a dead end right now, but I'll keep trying. John

Pondlady

I chose summer to stop drinking, as I didn't work over summer either and figured I'd devote the time to self improvement.

I kept things simple, but created a routine for myself and took lots of walks, gardened, swam, read books etc....for me it was a good time to focus on self care.

2muchpain

Not sure how things will turn out, but I do know popping open cans of beer and chasing it with pints of vodka is not the way to go. John

jaume1

I'm really tired today but Almost made it o the end of day one. Tomorrow i shall start working on a routine.

ScottFromWI

Someone is always here on SR if you have spare time John. There's a plethora of options out there too - service groups, volunteer organizations, churches, excercise groups, the list is very long of things "to do". Why not start making a plan now and start writing it down? If you wait until you are bored it's too late, right?

2muchpain

Your right Scott, there are plenty of things to stay busy. The truth is, I've been to lazy to look into them. Plus I've known many people that volunteer for things, but they end up regretting it for many reasons. But I'm in a better place to try some of these things out. Thanks. John

AnvilheadII

volunteerism is always a wonderful way to fill time - we get so much by giving of ourselves.

there are tons of community events/classes - well i don't know where YOU are exactly, but there are often local Adult Education Classes, art stuff classes that don't require you have a lick of artistic ability, find a biking or a hiking group, beginner kayak classes, salsa dancing? AA has lots of summer activities - campouts, picnics, dances, conventions.

i agree it can SEEM overwhelming.....i see it like my yard. we live on a sloped property - so there's the upper yard with the drive and garage, the middle yard around the front of the house, and the back yard, which is well.......out back. you could send me a team of TEN and we'd never get it ALL done.....so my method is to just grab the whopper loppers or the pruning shears, pick a bush, any bush, and get busy.

be a bit fearless, john.....you can do this!

2muchpain

Actually, a while back while living in California, I was thinking about volunteering at a performance center to help building props, etc. I have always loved live performances and have always felt connected to people that get into this stuff. Maybe I can find a place where I live now that could use a helping hand. John

thomas11

I agree. The unfortunate thing with that habit is that it also gets old but by the time we realize it, 10 years have gone by. HOpe you're able to find something to fill your time John. Maybe buy some dogs, they'll keep you busy! haha.

doggonecarl

A lot of "Buts" in your post. "I'm not happy, but..." or "I could do this, but..." I challenge you to see them as excuses you are using to keep from moving forward in your life. Hey, you are welcome to sit on your "But" all summer. However, if you do, that's totally on you.

2muchpain

You got me there man. I can't do this cause, or I can't do that cause. Knew someone a few years ago that I shared an interest in visiting the northwest, but had a lot of buts about it. Took a trip and had a great time. Those buts eventually turn into regrets and most of those buts are due to unwarranted fears. Time to grow a backbone and move on. Besides, at my age, why should I care. I've lived a long life. Not looking for an early demise, but fear in my life shouldn't get in my way. Fear=excuse. I don't know why getting older should increase fear. If anything, it should be the opposite. Having nothing to lose should make more difference now than when I was young. Thanks. John

Leshar

I Iove volunteering with community theatre, both on and off stage. I would definitely check this out in your area. Theatres such as these are always happy to have volunteers, you'd be an asset!
I do hear you. Living alone myself and now retired it is sometimes difficult to motivate oneself, but the alternative just isn't an option, you know this, we all do.
I'd try meet ups too. I'm going to join a hiking one.

wildflower70

Hi 2muchpain,

I totally get where your coming from. I work part time and take online classes from home. So, many hours in the day are spent inside...alone. I live in Phoenix, so the summers here aren't enjoyable. Going out to do activities in 110 degree heat isn't an option.

However, I now find pleasure in the small things that sobriety has brought me, for example;

Sometimes I take a drive at dusk, just because it feels good to BE ABLE to drive (now that I'm sober).
I can really laugh out loud at a funny movie, as I find things amusing again (now that I'm sober).
I enjoy going to the store to buy myself something for the heck of it, because I have more money (now that I am sober).

Do you see the pattern? Now that I am sober, the small things bring me joy. What small things can you enjoy today?

Be well and look for little blessings around every corner!

Meraviglioso

Hi John, I too had a hard time with the too much time on my hands situation. I work from home and also have several night alone when my children are with their father. I recently took up karate and LOVE it. Love it. It is a great activity for all ages. It is a very disciplined sport and those that have risen to the level of Maestro are patient and passionate with newcomers. Everything seemed overwhelming at first, all the Japanese terminology, the moves, the kata, etc, but it is an environment that encourages learning for everyone. It has taught me humility and patience. As a white belt I am at the bottom. I stand at the end of the line during the salutation/bow, I make numerous mistakes in front of those much more advanced than me, but it is in an encouraging environment. It is very tough physically and you get a great workout. It is also very tough mentally. One part that I really have come to love is the mental part. In order to have a good practice you must leave all of your worries and thoughts at the door. When training you have to have a clear mind and only concentrate on what the maestro is saying/ordering you to do and the moves you are doing. There is a lot of repetition. A lot of "stop, do it again" and you just get into a mode where you are free from any other thoughts and are completely in the moment. I have found that to be different from say running, walking or even going to the gym, where you can let your mind wander, think about stuff, worry about stuff, think about alcohol...
Lastly there is a saying "karate you practice for life" meaning you never stop improving, you never stop learning. So there are continual goals to be reached, always room for improvement. I have gone and learned and improved but there is always more to learn, more to improve on, I like that aspect. Having positive goals is good for me.
I maybe just got lucky but in my group there is great camaraderie. We have a lot of fun in a serious, healthy way. I would imagine it is the same in most groups.
Give it a try!

SoberLeigh

Stay close to us, John.

We (among whom you are included) know that drinking is never, ever a good option for us.

Find a new passion to keep you focused this Summer. Set prop construction sounds fantastic.

tomsteve

glad youre recognizing the problem and starting to look for solutions.
so, why can ya work during the summer?
howz about lookin into your past for something that peaked your interest?
any hobbies?

theres a fine line where boredom and lazy meet. theres a jillion things to do to keep me busy.

2muchpain

I'm a retired teacher that now substitutes during the school year, so there's no a whole lot of opportunities during the summer. My past hobbies were pool shooting, snorkeling and scuba diving. Shoot pool in a bar (and I was really good at it, could bounce the cube ball over another ball, hit the one I was aiming at and in the hole for example), but that requires hanging out in bars so that won't do. Even though I live in Florida, the snorkeling and diving really sucks believe it or not. I'm used to doing those things where you see really big fish. Not here. There's one meetup called Boomersabroad that takes a lot of trips but there really expensive. I could do those trips on my own for half the price but then I'd probably drink if I did that. I gotta do something cause I know me and the summer looks pretty ugly right now. I could easily drink myself to oblivion every day and I know what that will eventually lead to. Not gonna happen. Like Dee is always saying, gotta have a plan. If I can make it through this week sober, I'll be in better shape to do that. John

soberclover

I have my summers off too as I work in a school. Perhaps you could pick up a steady volunteer jobs or even find yourself a part-time job during the summer. I find that I need to attend more support meetings (AA) during the summer as I don't do well without structure. I was really glad to read this post because it can get me to start thinking about what I'm going to do about my summer!

2muchpain

soberclover, there is an AA meeting close to where I just moved. Maybe I'll try it out. Might have better luck then before. Would fill some time. Have a great summer. John

Dee74

I'll add my voice to the chorus....what about some volunteering John?

It was a great way for me to get out the house and get out of my own head for a while.

I got used to being around people again...and I did some good, and felt good for doing it, besides

D