Wine drinking woman, desperate to stop
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Wiseheart,
Thank you so much for your message. I'm so glad to know my story helped anyone in any way. It looks like you joined right about when I posted. I had been lurking and reading here for years before I finally was able to make that big change in May. So happy that you are doing well! It helps so much to know that others understand and trying to do the same thing.
Continued best to you
Thank you so much for your message. I'm so glad to know my story helped anyone in any way. It looks like you joined right about when I posted. I had been lurking and reading here for years before I finally was able to make that big change in May. So happy that you are doing well! It helps so much to know that others understand and trying to do the same thing.
Continued best to you
Originally Posted by wiseheart 
Tealily, it is such a treat to see your thread again. I remember reading your original post during one of my wine-induced hazes. At the time, I knew that I couldn't continue as I was, but wasn't ready to admit that I couldn't moderate or control my drinking. But reading your post was like looking in the mirror. It stayed with me. It took a few more months for me to finally let go and put down that last glass. Best thing I did.
I am so happy to hear that you are still doing well and look forward to future updates. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am just one of many that you have helped.
Happy New Year to as you as well!
I am so happy to hear that you are still doing well and look forward to future updates. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am just one of many that you have helped.
Happy New Year to as you as well!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by tealily
Just checking in after a time away.. I am coming up on my 6 month anniversary of quitting wine. Life is so much better, in every way.
I am happier. I actually laugh out loud. I'm healthier, with a great recent round of blood tests and a physical. I am getting in shape, working with a triathalon coach, getting up early and feeling great in the mornings. I've lost weight, and people tell me I look younger.
After years of projects stalling, our home deteriorating, I'm getting projects and improvements finally done. My husband is so happy. I'm appreciating sunsets, the light through the fall leaves, the night sky, the crisp moonlight, the sounds of early morning. Before I was so focused on drinking and getting over drinking, and getting only the bare minimum done to keep my work and household going, that I didn't have time for bigger and better things, beyond myself.
The world is opening up. When you are drinking, it closes in on you, and your life gets smaller and smaller.
I think back to how much time I wasted, thinking about wine, buying wine, drinking wine, recovering from wine, disposing of wine bottles, hiding them before I drank them, and hiding the empties. The shame, guilt, sickness, remorse.. the lying, the hiding.. the regret.
It is NO WAY TO LIVE. If you are thinking, "but how can I give up lovely drinking (e.g., pouring poison down your throat and through your liver), it is my entertainment, it is what makes a party, it is necessary, it makes me so happy". They are LIES. Step back, and you know that makes NO SENSE. Drinking hurts you physically, emotionally, psychologically. It's a poison.
Now, the smell of alcohol on others' breath just about makes me sick.
Yes, thoughts STILL pop into my head, though.. despite all this .. that maybe I could "have a glass". But that's a LIE too. It wouldn't be a glass. It would be a bottle. Day after day. And then a bottle and a half.
It's just so much easier to take drinking off the table, literally. I just don't do it anymore.
I'm at 178 days now.. so this Thanksgiving will be a double celebration.
To all those just getting started, it is possible. It's in your power to stop.
This place is tremendous. So many helpful, caring, supportive people.
Thank you, all!
I am happier. I actually laugh out loud. I'm healthier, with a great recent round of blood tests and a physical. I am getting in shape, working with a triathalon coach, getting up early and feeling great in the mornings. I've lost weight, and people tell me I look younger.
After years of projects stalling, our home deteriorating, I'm getting projects and improvements finally done. My husband is so happy. I'm appreciating sunsets, the light through the fall leaves, the night sky, the crisp moonlight, the sounds of early morning. Before I was so focused on drinking and getting over drinking, and getting only the bare minimum done to keep my work and household going, that I didn't have time for bigger and better things, beyond myself.
The world is opening up. When you are drinking, it closes in on you, and your life gets smaller and smaller.
I think back to how much time I wasted, thinking about wine, buying wine, drinking wine, recovering from wine, disposing of wine bottles, hiding them before I drank them, and hiding the empties. The shame, guilt, sickness, remorse.. the lying, the hiding.. the regret.
It is NO WAY TO LIVE. If you are thinking, "but how can I give up lovely drinking (e.g., pouring poison down your throat and through your liver), it is my entertainment, it is what makes a party, it is necessary, it makes me so happy". They are LIES. Step back, and you know that makes NO SENSE. Drinking hurts you physically, emotionally, psychologically. It's a poison.
Now, the smell of alcohol on others' breath just about makes me sick.
Yes, thoughts STILL pop into my head, though.. despite all this .. that maybe I could "have a glass". But that's a LIE too. It wouldn't be a glass. It would be a bottle. Day after day. And then a bottle and a half.
It's just so much easier to take drinking off the table, literally. I just don't do it anymore.
I'm at 178 days now.. so this Thanksgiving will be a double celebration.
To all those just getting started, it is possible. It's in your power to stop.
This place is tremendous. So many helpful, caring, supportive people.
Thank you, all!
You write so well and express what many of us are feeling. Thank you for keeping us updated. It's encouraging to know you have stayed quit so long. Makes me believe I can. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
So good to read your thread!
The world needs more people like you, willing to dig deep and to share.
I also stopped drinking a while ago (not sure how long, but more than 2 years).
Your point about wanting a drink out of nowhere speaks volumes to me.
Normally I have no desire to drink at all, but once and a while, out of the blue, there goes. For no reason.
But reading your words makes me see its not just me.
I appreciate it.
The world needs more people like you, willing to dig deep and to share.
I also stopped drinking a while ago (not sure how long, but more than 2 years).
Your point about wanting a drink out of nowhere speaks volumes to me.
Normally I have no desire to drink at all, but once and a while, out of the blue, there goes. For no reason.
But reading your words makes me see its not just me.
I appreciate it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 84
Wow, Tealily. Reading this was like reading a great suspense novel. Your story is so inspirational, particularly in my case as a mother of three kids who has decided I am just not doing it anymore. They deserve more. I am on day 35. Can’t wait to be able to experience all the positive changes you have over the last several months. Some of course, I am already experiencing. Please keep updating your post with how you are doing. I feel as though you’re a bit of a mentor for a lot of us closet plastic cup 40+ alcoholics with families who are being drastically affected by our alcoholism - whether it’s obvious on the surface or not. Congratulations for all your milestones. Looking forward to reading more.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Thanks all for the kind messages above and for asking about me. I am doing well!
I'm on a new self-improvement kick, exercising (intense fitness swimming with a coach), sleeping well, eating better and taking lots of vitamins. Moisturizing my skin. Washing my face before bed. Such simple things! But I'm taking care of myself, finally again. Waking up feeling rested and, best of all, without regrets. Present for my husband and children. Proud of myself instead of ashamed.
Still trying to drink more water and lose pounds, but I know I've replaced some bloat and fat with muscle, so overall I look and feel better, even if the weight isn't that different.
Life is so good, and as with so many things, just wish I had done it sooner. I check in here frequently to read, because I know how easy it is to get complacent. Every time the thought pops into my head that "maybe I could drink 'normally' ", I know to jump on it with a vengeance. There is nothing good in drinking alcohol, for me, or for anyone. I'm not "missing" anything. Just gaining.
Hang in there everyone. I spent years and years spiraling further into that hole, even if no one knew the depth of it but me. If I can climb out, you can too!
Just realized, I hit 8 months yesterday!
I'm on a new self-improvement kick, exercising (intense fitness swimming with a coach), sleeping well, eating better and taking lots of vitamins. Moisturizing my skin. Washing my face before bed. Such simple things! But I'm taking care of myself, finally again. Waking up feeling rested and, best of all, without regrets. Present for my husband and children. Proud of myself instead of ashamed.
Still trying to drink more water and lose pounds, but I know I've replaced some bloat and fat with muscle, so overall I look and feel better, even if the weight isn't that different.
Life is so good, and as with so many things, just wish I had done it sooner. I check in here frequently to read, because I know how easy it is to get complacent. Every time the thought pops into my head that "maybe I could drink 'normally' ", I know to jump on it with a vengeance. There is nothing good in drinking alcohol, for me, or for anyone. I'm not "missing" anything. Just gaining.
Hang in there everyone. I spent years and years spiraling further into that hole, even if no one knew the depth of it but me. If I can climb out, you can too!
Just realized, I hit 8 months yesterday!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Just another update to my main thread.. can't believe I'm coming up on 11 months, and that a year anniversary of kicking booze to the curb is within sight!
I had some surgery this week, and I am positive that it went better and that my recovery will be smoother because I'm not steeped in alcohol. Such a relief and awesome feeling to have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide from my doctors, and know that I'm helping myself be the best and healthiest I can be, wherever I am on the spectrum.
If I can do it, everyone reading this can too!
I had some surgery this week, and I am positive that it went better and that my recovery will be smoother because I'm not steeped in alcohol. Such a relief and awesome feeling to have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide from my doctors, and know that I'm helping myself be the best and healthiest I can be, wherever I am on the spectrum.
If I can do it, everyone reading this can too!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
You have raised my spirits. I read your very first post last year and could totally relate to every word.
I am on the trail to a better life now I hope and I am truly in awe of your steadfastness and determination.
You are a star.
Cuckoo x
I am on the trail to a better life now I hope and I am truly in awe of your steadfastness and determination.
You are a star.
Cuckoo x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Rar, best wishes on your surgery! I know you will feel stronger and better able to cope and heal. I'll be thinking of you.
Thank you, Dee, and b0g, SO much.
Cuckoo, thank you so much for that! I don't feel like a star at all.. but I do feel I turned a corner (though I know to not get complacent). This community has made all the difference for me. I am so glad you are on a better track too! Hang in there!
Thank you, Dee, and b0g, SO much.
Cuckoo, thank you so much for that! I don't feel like a star at all.. but I do feel I turned a corner (though I know to not get complacent). This community has made all the difference for me. I am so glad you are on a better track too! Hang in there!
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 19
Hi Tealily! I feel like I wrote this post. Our drinking careers sound almost parallel. I just got so sick of the cycle. I to discovered that that beautiful Amber liquid could numb the pain of my depression. I did not have to feel . After a few years of sitting amongst the hidden empties throughout my house I realized it only made it worse. The joy of drinking was no longer there. That crap turned me into a pathological liar and left me reeling in depression and stuck in my bed for days. I spent the last month's of my drinking laying in bed at night slamming warm white wine reading sober recovery relating to many stories on here. I realized I needed extra help so I am now in IOP. I am learning how to live on lifes terms without out any mind altering substance. Everyday gets a little better and easier. Not to say it is not hard because it is. My desire to remain sober is stronger than my desire to drink. You can do this Tealily! Come out of hiding and feel the sunshine on your face again.
Last edited by Krews; 04-15-2018 at 07:34 AM. Reason: Just realized I was reading older post. Congratulations Tealily!
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Hi tealily, I just wanted to thank you for this post. It is exactly what I needed in this moment where I'm in that downward spiral and trying to figure out how to get out. And then to realize that you wrote this post almost a year ago and that you are now sober! Amazing! Congrats on 11 months and thank you for your inspiration.
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