Hard to see in the dark
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 245
Hard to see in the dark
There is that place of complete despair that we all have either been in or are in currently. I never forget the feeling I had the last 4 days I drank and kept myself secluded from everything and everyone. Just me and my addiction pulling me down in that abyss. Weakened spiritually, extremely negative emotions, complete lost with no purpose in life (I felt at the time) and just about everyone having gave up on me.
For me, being in that dark place made it really hard to see any ray of hope in the situation. What I came to terms with is the concrete choice of life or death. Alcohol was going to kill me in the near future if I didn't stop. As hard as it was to see a hopeful future in that period of darkness I did know that light at least existed. Whether it was attainable or not was up to me and putting my trust and faith into something greater. Something I couldn't see but I knew was/is/and always will be there. If it wasn't for a Higher Power I'd either be dead prison or sent away some where.
I've heard and read people's trials with drinking, relapse and even their hard time while sober. Life will have its devastating moments and sometimes it feels like a drink or high is the way to escape it all in our heads. Alcohol put me in the dark when it came to feeling sincere emotions, having real relationships not built of drinking and most importantly, a relationship with a Higher Power.
Lord willing June 17, 2017 will mark 2 years of sobriety for me.
Being able to have this be a potential reality is an example of the light that I was having a hard time seeing those last 4 days of my drinking.
I pray that everyone that is struggling can believe in themselves to pull through their storms and have faith that there is something better for them in life. It doesn't have to be misery.
Thank you all for being their for others and myself.
For me, being in that dark place made it really hard to see any ray of hope in the situation. What I came to terms with is the concrete choice of life or death. Alcohol was going to kill me in the near future if I didn't stop. As hard as it was to see a hopeful future in that period of darkness I did know that light at least existed. Whether it was attainable or not was up to me and putting my trust and faith into something greater. Something I couldn't see but I knew was/is/and always will be there. If it wasn't for a Higher Power I'd either be dead prison or sent away some where.
I've heard and read people's trials with drinking, relapse and even their hard time while sober. Life will have its devastating moments and sometimes it feels like a drink or high is the way to escape it all in our heads. Alcohol put me in the dark when it came to feeling sincere emotions, having real relationships not built of drinking and most importantly, a relationship with a Higher Power.
Lord willing June 17, 2017 will mark 2 years of sobriety for me.
Being able to have this be a potential reality is an example of the light that I was having a hard time seeing those last 4 days of my drinking.
I pray that everyone that is struggling can believe in themselves to pull through their storms and have faith that there is something better for them in life. It doesn't have to be misery.
Thank you all for being their for others and myself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Good reminder, TNT. My choice was a little more concrete- alcohol did kill me, but medical experts bought me back- 3 times. Now the choice is if I drink again- I will stay dead. 18 months sober now. Thanks.
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