A sober moment
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
A sober moment
Discovered another advantage of sobriety that I wanted to share. Yesterday someone was nasty to me. Really unnecessarily nasty. Won't go into details, details aren't really important. What's important is that this person meant something to me. At one stage we were best friends.
So yesterday this nasty thing happened and I immediately felt the anger and the hurt and the frustration at the injustice of what just happened and then suddenly something else happened. In the midst of all the escalating rage I had a sober moment. A moment when I felt calm and looked at the situation from the outside. I managed to remove the emotion for that moment and think about what was really going on. I realised that this person doesn't want me to be sober. I realised this person preferred it when my life was a mess. I realised people change and I've changed and this person and I are no longer friends. And I realised I'm ok with that.
So I controlled the rage and I walked away. And this morning when I think back on it I'm not tortured with thinking, "I should have said this" or "I wish I hadn't said that". Instead I still feel calm. Seven months ago if someone had behaved like that to me, I would have definitely lost my temper and then I would have definitely consoled myself with a bottle or 2 of wine. Now, not only did I not want to drink, it somehow strengthened my resolve to stay sober.
Some of the gifts of sobriety are massive. Some of them are as tiny as a single sober moment in the middle of an emotional crisis. But they're all awesome and should all be celebrated. Thanks for reading xx
So yesterday this nasty thing happened and I immediately felt the anger and the hurt and the frustration at the injustice of what just happened and then suddenly something else happened. In the midst of all the escalating rage I had a sober moment. A moment when I felt calm and looked at the situation from the outside. I managed to remove the emotion for that moment and think about what was really going on. I realised that this person doesn't want me to be sober. I realised this person preferred it when my life was a mess. I realised people change and I've changed and this person and I are no longer friends. And I realised I'm ok with that.
So I controlled the rage and I walked away. And this morning when I think back on it I'm not tortured with thinking, "I should have said this" or "I wish I hadn't said that". Instead I still feel calm. Seven months ago if someone had behaved like that to me, I would have definitely lost my temper and then I would have definitely consoled myself with a bottle or 2 of wine. Now, not only did I not want to drink, it somehow strengthened my resolve to stay sober.
Some of the gifts of sobriety are massive. Some of them are as tiny as a single sober moment in the middle of an emotional crisis. But they're all awesome and should all be celebrated. Thanks for reading xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I have had that moment as well, kenton.
The recognition that the person raging at me has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them.
It was great to let it go, to not stew, and parse, and wonder what I should have said/done.
Peace.
The recognition that the person raging at me has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with them.
It was great to let it go, to not stew, and parse, and wonder what I should have said/done.
Peace.
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