I don't belong in this world
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Originally Posted by littlesongbird 
all anybody cares about is themselves and what they want.
I find that painting "everybody or anybody" with such a wide brush is not really ...well...right. There's plenty of people in this world that care.
If there aren't people like that in your world than perhaps you need to change up who you associate with.
I made many changes when I chose sobriety. One of those was the kind of company I kept.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Vent away LS.
The only reason I asked about sobriety was its tough to regulate emotions in the early weeks.
It's like we dam up all our feelings for so long by drinking...and then the dam breaks and there's a flood of emotions out there for a while...
it's easy to get overwhelmed by one emotion and start to think that everything is poo - but it's not.
Keep talking.
The last thing you need to do, or that we'd want you to do, is try and repress those feelings.
Talking about it helps
D
The only reason I asked about sobriety was its tough to regulate emotions in the early weeks.
It's like we dam up all our feelings for so long by drinking...and then the dam breaks and there's a flood of emotions out there for a while...
it's easy to get overwhelmed by one emotion and start to think that everything is poo - but it's not.
Keep talking.
The last thing you need to do, or that we'd want you to do, is try and repress those feelings.
Talking about it helps
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
You know, the fact that Mother Theresa was said to have a version of the following prayer on the door of her room in a Calcutta orphanage suggests to me that even SHE had days like this.
God, help me to accept that people may be unreasonable and self-centred. Let me forgive them anyway.
Help me to accept that if I’m kind, people may accuse me of ulterior motives. Let me be kind anyway.
Help me to accept that if I find happiness, people may be jealous. Let me be happy anyway.
Help me to accept that the good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Let me do good anyway.
Help me to accept that I may give the world my best, and it may never be good enough. Let me give my best anyway.
God, help me to remember that it is between you and me. It was never between me and them anyway.
I remember feeling the same pain as you are feeling now. Being hurt and resentful, and catastophising the situation so that I rode it like I was surfing a wave, bringing up all the fear and anxiety surrounding relationships from the past and feeling utterly broken hearted and hopeless. Later in my recovery I was able to work through my feelings around those instances as part of my step 4 and recognise how and why things happened and learn from them so that I could avoid these things happening again, but it was a painful part of early sobriety for me. The amount of stuff I suddenly started remembering! Wow! Relationships were definitely a massive issue for me personally, and the way I'd been reacting to the fear and resentments over the years had meant I'd been acting in some fairly dire ways myself that in turn cause me a lot of shame and self-loathing. As well as the recovery work i did in AA, reading the CoDa (Codependents Anon) handbook helped me to understand some of those patterns. It was pretty cheap to buy to read digitally via Amazon for my kindle so worth it, even though I generally cannot access the CoDa meetings in my area.
AA was the place that I learnt how to have positive relationships. How to ask for help, allow others to help me, how to help others through service and loving support, etc. I'm still learning. Recovery is such a learning curve. And it has been beautiful. I did need to change some of my friendship groups though, and learn to accept that my family can be pretty dysfunctional in many ways, but that I don't need to go along with their madness, and if they don't like me looking after my sobriety and sanity by walking to the beat of my own drum - well, they don't have to like it. We can differ in opinion. No worries.
Things will get better. If you stay sober and work on your recovery.
Rooting for you. BB
God, help me to accept that people may be unreasonable and self-centred. Let me forgive them anyway.
Help me to accept that if I’m kind, people may accuse me of ulterior motives. Let me be kind anyway.
Help me to accept that if I find happiness, people may be jealous. Let me be happy anyway.
Help me to accept that the good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Let me do good anyway.
Help me to accept that I may give the world my best, and it may never be good enough. Let me give my best anyway.
God, help me to remember that it is between you and me. It was never between me and them anyway.
I remember feeling the same pain as you are feeling now. Being hurt and resentful, and catastophising the situation so that I rode it like I was surfing a wave, bringing up all the fear and anxiety surrounding relationships from the past and feeling utterly broken hearted and hopeless. Later in my recovery I was able to work through my feelings around those instances as part of my step 4 and recognise how and why things happened and learn from them so that I could avoid these things happening again, but it was a painful part of early sobriety for me. The amount of stuff I suddenly started remembering! Wow! Relationships were definitely a massive issue for me personally, and the way I'd been reacting to the fear and resentments over the years had meant I'd been acting in some fairly dire ways myself that in turn cause me a lot of shame and self-loathing. As well as the recovery work i did in AA, reading the CoDa (Codependents Anon) handbook helped me to understand some of those patterns. It was pretty cheap to buy to read digitally via Amazon for my kindle so worth it, even though I generally cannot access the CoDa meetings in my area.
AA was the place that I learnt how to have positive relationships. How to ask for help, allow others to help me, how to help others through service and loving support, etc. I'm still learning. Recovery is such a learning curve. And it has been beautiful. I did need to change some of my friendship groups though, and learn to accept that my family can be pretty dysfunctional in many ways, but that I don't need to go along with their madness, and if they don't like me looking after my sobriety and sanity by walking to the beat of my own drum - well, they don't have to like it. We can differ in opinion. No worries.
Things will get better. If you stay sober and work on your recovery.
Rooting for you. BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
Hi LSB, not everyone is selfish and horrible. Just re read all the replies that you have had here on SR. A whole bunch of people from all over with their own various struggles, problems, successes, every day niggles and they are all supportive, caring and understanding. Take something from that and try to let your anger go. Try walking somewhere nice, make eye contact and just smile or say good morning to people. You dont have to talk if you dont feel like it but it will make you feel connected and human.
Let the anger go and try to just 'be' for a while.
Hoping you find peace.
SB
Let the anger go and try to just 'be' for a while.
Hoping you find peace.
SB
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It's the saddest thing about life on this planet that so many people don't realise that we are all connected, we are all one... and when you hurt another person, then you hurt yourself, and everyone and everything.
It would be a different world if this was taught in schools.
But most people don't realise it, so this can be a hard place to get by if you are sensitive, kind and gentle.
But don't let the ugliness of other people change you. Little Songbird, all you can do is try and be compassionate towards the people who don't understand.
You are exactly the sort of person we need in this world.
It would be a different world if this was taught in schools.
But most people don't realise it, so this can be a hard place to get by if you are sensitive, kind and gentle.
But don't let the ugliness of other people change you. Little Songbird, all you can do is try and be compassionate towards the people who don't understand.
You are exactly the sort of person we need in this world.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Hey littlesongbird.
Boy, it can definitely feel like everyone stinks and nobody cares and we just don't fit in with all this madness.
I get that. And I imagine that for you, as you shared that, it felt lonely and apart and frustrating and maybe a little hopeless.
It's all OK, to feel that way. And I can understand it.
I hope today you can find a shift in your focus - away from the frustration with others and toward the goodness of life. It's there, even when we see the frustration all around.
I hope today you have a little warmth in your heart at a patch of sunshine or a dog or a walk in the woods or the people here who do care.... and I hope you hold that little bit of goodness all day and use it as fuel and momentum to keep seeing more good.
Sometimes, all it really takes is to open your heart to One Good Thing.... and then One Good Thing Leads To Aonother.
Boy, it can definitely feel like everyone stinks and nobody cares and we just don't fit in with all this madness.
I get that. And I imagine that for you, as you shared that, it felt lonely and apart and frustrating and maybe a little hopeless.
It's all OK, to feel that way. And I can understand it.
I hope today you can find a shift in your focus - away from the frustration with others and toward the goodness of life. It's there, even when we see the frustration all around.
I hope today you have a little warmth in your heart at a patch of sunshine or a dog or a walk in the woods or the people here who do care.... and I hope you hold that little bit of goodness all day and use it as fuel and momentum to keep seeing more good.
Sometimes, all it really takes is to open your heart to One Good Thing.... and then One Good Thing Leads To Aonother.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you "shared" quite a variety of emotions - from feeling alone and like you do not belong here, to wanting to scream and hating everyone, to downplaying it all and saying you're just PMsing.
it's helpful and beneficial to ourselves when we can learn to better IDENTIFY what we feel. and if we can go a step further and try to identify WHY.
we can feel lousy and low for a lotta reasons.....midway thru a bad cold, problems with a family member, finding out someone broke into our car overnight. OR being in early recovery and no longer using drugs and alcohol to numb it all away.
i'm sorry you feel awful. what are things you have done or could do to feel better? good healthy positive things, that is!!!
it's helpful and beneficial to ourselves when we can learn to better IDENTIFY what we feel. and if we can go a step further and try to identify WHY.
we can feel lousy and low for a lotta reasons.....midway thru a bad cold, problems with a family member, finding out someone broke into our car overnight. OR being in early recovery and no longer using drugs and alcohol to numb it all away.
i'm sorry you feel awful. what are things you have done or could do to feel better? good healthy positive things, that is!!!
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