Introduction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 9
Introduction
Hi, I am here to seek advice on the best ways to encourage my husband to reduce or stop drinking. I am concerned that his habit will become worse and worse over time.
I'll start a thread with more detail in one of the other forums. Thanks in advance for your help.
I'll start a thread with more detail in one of the other forums. Thanks in advance for your help.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome nonotme, you'll find a lot of support and help here at SR. If you are planning on posting elsewhere too I would suggest the Friends and Family forums, there are a lot of people there who have been through what you are experiencing.
I'm sorry to hear your husbands drinking is becoming a problem. You can certainly encourage him to quit, but if he's an alcoholic like most of us he will need to make the decision himself. And if he is an alcoholic he won't be able to "cut back" or reduce his drinking..complete abstinence is the only real solution.
Another thing about addiction is that it fosters a lot of denial and selfishness...so your attempts at "encouragement" may be seen as a threat - and he will lash out at you for it, even though you have good intentions.
I'm sorry to hear your husbands drinking is becoming a problem. You can certainly encourage him to quit, but if he's an alcoholic like most of us he will need to make the decision himself. And if he is an alcoholic he won't be able to "cut back" or reduce his drinking..complete abstinence is the only real solution.
Another thing about addiction is that it fosters a lot of denial and selfishness...so your attempts at "encouragement" may be seen as a threat - and he will lash out at you for it, even though you have good intentions.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,183
Welcome to SR Nonotme.
As Scott said the decision to stop will really have to come from him. It is commendable that you want to seek help for your husband but don't neglect taking care of yourself too so that you don't become collateral damage
As Scott said the decision to stop will really have to come from him. It is commendable that you want to seek help for your husband but don't neglect taking care of yourself too so that you don't become collateral damage
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Sorry for what brjbgs you here, but I'm glad you found us.
The thing is, none of us can stop until we really want to. And cutting down really isn't an option as it's the first drink that does the damage. After that they next ones are inevitable. Has he expressed concern about his own drinking or a desire to stop? If so, then there are places that could help him. He has to want it though.
In the meantime it might be worth looking into some support for yourself. Alanon could be a good start. And remember... you didn't Cause it,. You can't Cure it,. and... you can't Control it. All you can do is learn how to make and keep boundaries that will keep you physically, financially and emotionally safe.
Prayers for you and your husband.
BB
PS. If you haven't done so already, it might be worth double posting this in the Friends and Family area as well. There are some wise and experienced spouses and family members in there who I'm sure could offer their experience, strength and hope.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
The thing is, none of us can stop until we really want to. And cutting down really isn't an option as it's the first drink that does the damage. After that they next ones are inevitable. Has he expressed concern about his own drinking or a desire to stop? If so, then there are places that could help him. He has to want it though.
In the meantime it might be worth looking into some support for yourself. Alanon could be a good start. And remember... you didn't Cause it,. You can't Cure it,. and... you can't Control it. All you can do is learn how to make and keep boundaries that will keep you physically, financially and emotionally safe.
Prayers for you and your husband.
BB
PS. If you haven't done so already, it might be worth double posting this in the Friends and Family area as well. There are some wise and experienced spouses and family members in there who I'm sure could offer their experience, strength and hope.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Welcome nonotme, you'll find a lot of support and help here at SR. If you are planning on posting elsewhere too I would suggest the Friends and Family forums, there are a lot of people there who have been through what you are experiencing.
I'm sorry to hear your husbands drinking is becoming a problem. You can certainly encourage him to quit, but if he's an alcoholic like most of us he will need to make the decision himself. And if he is an alcoholic he won't be able to "cut back" or reduce his drinking..complete abstinence is the only real solution.
Another thing about addiction is that it fosters a lot of denial and selfishness...so your attempts at "encouragement" may be seen as a threat - and he will lash out at you for it, even though you have good intentions.
I'm sorry to hear your husbands drinking is becoming a problem. You can certainly encourage him to quit, but if he's an alcoholic like most of us he will need to make the decision himself. And if he is an alcoholic he won't be able to "cut back" or reduce his drinking..complete abstinence is the only real solution.
Another thing about addiction is that it fosters a lot of denial and selfishness...so your attempts at "encouragement" may be seen as a threat - and he will lash out at you for it, even though you have good intentions.
Do take a look at our friends and family forum for more insight. I hope your husband will find his path to sobriety. 
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