Raidho

Hello, glad to be here. Just a little about myself, I was raised in an alcoholic family. My father died of alcoholism when I was 12 and of course I married an alcoholic. I have been attending Al-anon meetings for the better part of 24 years. Even with all those years I am struggling big time with the fact that my son is in jail right now due to drugs. Well... I'm grateful for Al-anon principles and people to help me through hard times such as this. What I'm most struggling with right now, is not being able to make it to enough meetings. This is the first time my adult son has had to spend more than one night in jail. I know he's okay, that's not my issue. In fact, I believe he may be more okay in jail than at home, based on what my snoopy self found in his bedroom today. Needles, spoon,... pretty much everything needed to shoot up, excepting for the drug itself. I'm so angry at the addiction right now I can barely breathe freely... everything feels constricted. He is renting the downstairs apartment at my Mom's house, and I am living with my Mom in a care taking situation. His room looks like a dumpster and I didn't stop myself from looking in all the nooks and crannys now, while I had the chance. Suspicions confirmed, sadly. Is there really any black or white answers as to what to do? My inclination is to throw away all the needles etc and replace them with a letter of how drugs will not be tolerated under this roof... I don't want to kick him out, I would rather help him get sober if possible... I know he has to make up his mind to do this himself. I guess I'm just trying to figure out my boundaries. Any loving suggestions and sharing of experience, strength and hope is much appreciated. Thank you.

PhoenixJ

R- welcome and thanks for the courageous post. Being in al-anon you know all the answers. BUT - needles in your environment? Is this a police thing? Be careful handling needles. I know a guy 9drug dealing guy- who ran boarding house I was living in, not a druggie- I just used to get pissed) who got something nasty (AIDS?) fro a dirty needle. Disposing of them is a safety thing. Most councils/community places here have safe disposable places. I would not want them in my environment. Especially if there was a chance of them being re-used. Stay safe.

Dee74

I'm sorry for what brings you here Raidho, but I know you'll find support.

Me, I don't see anything wrong in either or your mom laying down the law - keep your room tidy and no drugs or drugtaking on the premises.

That would be an absolute deal breaker for me - but I'm not a parent and I'm not you.

If things don't change you have to be prepared to uphold any ultimatums you give - so make sure you're ready to follow through with whatever action you decide is appropriate.

D

Raidho

Thanks for the reply. I don't think this site is what I thought it was. I'm trying to figure out how to delete my account. Do you know?

shockozulu

May I ask what you thought this site was? If you think it is for family and friends of addicts and alcoholics we have entire sections devoted to these issues.

Dee74

I hope you'll stick around raidho.

If you want the perspective of family and friends we have entire forums devoted to that too

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

There is an approach called Craft you may be interested in:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-families.html

I can't vouch for it at all but I suspect it might be more like what you're looking for?


D