Realising I'm a young alcoholic
 

Hey everyone.
I am a 27 year old woman, and it's safe (though painful) to say that I am an alcoholic. I suffer from severe anxiety, and startet selfmedicating with alcohol about a year ago. Have always been a little too keen on drinking compared to other people my age . I dont mean only partying, I really enjoy "relaxing " and drinking alone. Om my sofa. In front of the TV.. (that sounds pathetic:(
Well, long story short, in order to give my brain some peace and quiet Ive been drinking almost every evening /night the last year. Started with 3 beers a night, The last couple of months it was as much as 6 beers or a bottle of wine. 4-5 times A WEEK. My health got worse. My anxiety was through the roof, i was feeling sick to my stomach and just spaced out every day. Have a part time job, a husband and a child.. so. Last friday I drank so much that I vomited. And I came to the conclusion that I am done with this. I wont drink anymore. Have not touched a drop in a week.
Was so scared of withdrawals (anxiety also had me convinced I would get Delirium tremens), but I have been really ok. No shaking. No nothing really, just tired and in a fairly bad mood.
I know too well that I can't have a beer/ glass of wine now and then like normal people . I need to stop forever (pretty depressing thought actually )
Not sure what I wanna say with this post, just needed to write it down .

Welcome to the family. :) You're smart to stop drinking now when you're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you get sober now, you'll have fewer regrets when you get to be my age.

Glad you joined us! :hug:

You have the gift of youth, along with the realization that you can not drink. Stay on this path and don't look back. A beautiful life awaits.:c011:

Welcome nemi. You habe identified that booze is bad for you. You are young- so i encourage you to keep following that thought with action to change your behaviours...aa meetings perhaps. Relapse- drinking can turn from months into years. A good post, thankyou for sharing- keep posting, perhaps join the 'class of may 2017' thread for support? Empathy and support to you. Pj

Thanks guys! :)
So emotional, almost burst into tears (of joy) from your replies. I have been searching for information and support forums a few weeks, and found this site. Been reading a lot of threads this last week (especially at night when it used to be my "drinking time") has helped me a lot. Now that the initial fear of deadly withdrawal starts to fade, Im starting to feel the cravings. I even have beers in my fridge and a bottle of wine, from last week. Have concidered just pouring them out, but I kinda like the idea of them sitting there as a monument of my willpower. Yes, Im a bit weird.

Welcome to SR, Nemi; so very glad you found us.

I hope that you pour out the alcohol that you have in your home. You can be a monument of strength without the physicality of the bottles.

So many of us found that sobriety and recovery are life-changing processes, and that sobriety truly rocks.

Stay close. We are here for you.

Welcome Nemi. I'm always so glad, and encouraged, to see young people such as yourself with the intelligence and self awareness to realize there is a problem. At your age, I was totally clueless. Congratulations to you.

Welcome Nemi :)

this is a wonderful place for support and guidance :)

D

Hi Nemi. I was in my mid-20s when I realized that I drank in an unhealthy way. Now at 40, I'm actually maintaining sobriety. 27 is a great age at which to quit :)

You are SMART. You know how much better your life can be if you whip this beast now instead of 20 years from now?

You're very smart and mature and honest with yourself to come here now!!

Welcome Nemi.

I'd suggest tipping your monuments away. This isn't about will-power. After all, it's our own will that kept us drinking! This is more about acceptance (sounds like you're getting there with that one ) and willingness to change and learn. Change to my life and to who I 'was' was so scary for me in the beginning because everything revolved around my drinking lifestyle. My relationship, my friendships, my self-image (my disasters, my unmanageable life, my broken relationships, lol). I was reluctant to embrace change really. I just wanted to stop alcohol affecting my life adversely. But it was when I finally embraced change as being completely necessary (because nothing changes if nothing changes) that sobriety became a more positive experience for me.

Have you considered AA or SMART or similar? I know you are young, but there are lots of other young recovering alcoholics and it could be useful to meet some of them and listen to their experience strength and hope. If yiu Google young people AA your country, likelihood you'll get the AA young people's message come up straight off, which could be an interesting read for you if you didn't already look at that.

There are some old duffers and middle aged alcoholics about as well, but I've learnt that, for me, it's best to focus on the similarities rather than dwell on the differences. If i find myself thing "yes, but they're..." I know I'm on the road to rationalising, and my AV (addictive voice) just LOVES it when I do that, and will soon start chiming in with thoughts of why a drink would be okay now, or then, or there, or here, or when, or if... and that's dangerous territory. So nowadays I try to focus on how people feel, and their experiences of being recovering alcoholics. Age, what or how much people drank, careers, gender, family background - they may be interesting, but they're not important. We can all learn from each other and support each other. And some of the old duffers in AA (I've since found out ) were young alcoholics themselves when they came into the rooms several decades since.

Anyway. Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you keep reading and posting. There are some amazing people on here and it's a real community.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

glad youre here,Nemi. i dont think your opinion is weird. sick? yeah,maybe. but not weird as its been done before.
since you "kinda" like the idea, i suggest ya completly stop liking the idea and dump it.

if you have the willpower, good!
but theres no shame is not having it. im one of many who couldnt stay sober on willpower alone. yet we've been sober a few 24's.

You're right . Everyone of you. I poured out all my beer and gave the wine to a neighbour. Now my house it alcohol free, and me and my kid are going for a mountain hike in the sun :D
Wish you all a great saturday

Regarding the AA: I dont know much about such facilities here, the options I know of are via hospital or really expencive detox/rehab centers (like 15 000 £ for 6 weeks). I'm from a Scandinavian country, and live in a pretty small city. Have to research my opportunities.

AA is free has online and meetings all over the world. Same with SMART. Keep posting- so good getting rid of the booze. Have you been watching Eurovision- love that stuff. We are even it it!!!

Hi Nemi...welcome to Sr!

Wise choice in throwing out the alcohol! I was your age when I began to realize I needed to do something about my drinking. Wish I had made the choice to change back then. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain.

You're in the right place. Keep posting and reading the information here on SR.

:tyou

something you could do is read the big book of AA online. you can learn what the program is about and what it has to offer- what it can do for a persons life by following some simple suggestions.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous

Wishing you a life full of sober adventures. It is a gift to realize at your age and take action.

Thanks for the advice :)
Yes, Im watching Eurovision right at this moment! Its one of my guilty pleasures.
Eurovision and pepsi, thats a new combo B-)

So glad I came here. You are all so supportive. Thank you for sharing, pep talks and advice :)

Have a great weekend Nemi :)

D