Went to my first meeting
 

Not sure about the forum rules regarding discussing specific types of recovery programs, but I went to my first 12 step meeting today. It was so hard to make myself go. My brain kept telling me, 'you feel fine today, you don't need to go'. I just felt that somewhere deep down it was the right thing for me to do today, and literally had to tell myself about 50 times today "just go". I know I need to work on my recovery, and I know I need to actually take some type of action to begin that process.
Plus, I think that I really need the community and to just start making friends again, especially with people I can relate to. I actually ended up going to 2 meetings. I had planned to go to a discussion meeting nearby at 6pm, and shortly before I left, I found out there was a beginners meeting at 8pm at the same place. I'm glad I went to both.

The first meeting (discussion) was a bit of a different crowd. Not super large either. Most a lot older than me, and I'm not sure how much I could really relate to them. But still, there was some good wisdom shared by the members and a good vibe overall.

The beginners meeting was actually really good, and had a lot larger crowd mixed with many different ages and types. The focus was on gratitude, which was good for me to hear.

Overall, I felt there was a nice positive vibe. Lots of support and honesty. It felt like a pretty accepting place filled with folks from all different walks of life. I actually kind of snuck out of there pretty quickly afterwards, and did not socialize or get any numbers since my nerves were pretty shot (as they have been lately). I sort of just wanted to observe today. But it was a good experience, and I plan on going back. Might try a few others as well..

I'm glad you went. Meetings can be really helpful. And beginners' meetings are great.
I would suggest going to different meetings until you find one that clicks. They al have their own flavor.
I believe there is a 12 step forum on this site. You might like that as well.
You can also join this month's class, which is specifically for the recently recovering.
Good luck.

Thanks Maudcat. I will definitely check out this months class. I'm glad you mentioned it. And yes, I plan on checking out several different meetings. I've got way too much free time lately, so I think I need to immerse myself in as much recovery culture as possible over the upcoming weeks.

I'm glad both meetings went well and you enjoyed them. Try out different ones until you find the one(s) you like. :)



Here's the 12 step forum

Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Somehow I missed the 12-step sections. Thanks, Least :)

I'm glad that it was a good experience cellardoor :)

Just to clarify there's no problem at all with you sharing your good experiences with AA, or any thing recovery related, in this forum :)

D

Glad you went. Sounds like overall, it was a positive start for you! Have you heard the suggestion of 90 meetings in 90 days (I did about 82 in 90, if I recall correctly) or even 30 in 30? Forming the habit of going, and getting a start on learning the program is behind this suggestion- and the "not wanting to go" feeling is felt by most of us even well into sobriety! I was told "go when you don't want to, go when you do - just go!" Good advice for me.

Good going. Hope to see you around.

:c011::thanks

see? they don't throw newcomers into the vat of boiling oil after all!

i am so glad you got to that first meeting. and have plans to try many more. just the simple act of going TO the meeting is all about sober footsteps.
:c011:

Glad you managed to get to your first meeting. Well, first two meetings. And that it was a positive experience. Three years in and my meetings are an important part of my life. That support feels like it's there between meetings as well to draw on as well. Today at the dentist (root canal work - ouch) I closed my eyes and between prayers, imagined my AA clan at my favourite meeting. It was a comfort.

As you've already noted, different meetings have a diffrent feel, so it's worth exploring lots and seeing which suit you best.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Thanks so much for the words of support, everyone. I do appreciate it. Every day lately has seemed so difficult, so close to a relapse. I keep telling myself just one more day. Hang on for one more day, and see how you feel then (still going through some physical/emotional withdrawals and dealing with the anxiety so that is making it difficult). I know you guys are right. I just have to find it in me to keep going to the meetings as often as I can. There is lots of wisdom and experience in there with people who have years of sobriety that I need to expose myself to. I need to actually "make the act" of working on my sobriety and drug free life, and I know that going to meetings can be a big part of that. I plan to go again tonight. Maybe the same one. Haven't decided yet. But I do plan to check out a few different ones.

there were many days for me early on that i had to take it down to one second at a time- just one more second. i was quite miserable.
one of them oldtimers told me,"dont give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."
i had faith that the miracle that occured for him and countless others would happen for me so long as i put in the footwork.

keep comin back! it works of ya work it so work it youre worth it!

AA saved my life. There are times I don't want to go. And there are meetings I hate. But I have meetings I love too. Try out several. You're sure to find the ones that are right for you.

That really is great advice, and the kind of mindset that I have had to have. Just having faith and hope that it will get better.

Yes, I definitely plan to attend a few meetings. I do like the one I've been to the first few times, at least. I think I will try out an NA meeting next since that is probably more where I belong. Found out they even have a nightly one at 11pm. Perfect for night owls like me!

Glad you got a positive experience at AA. I am not a big sharer at meetings but I never pass when called on. I will say that I will come out of a meeting feeling just a little more grateful. I have made friends, learned a lot of life skills, and have never left a meeting drunk. So at the minimum I know that for that hour of my day I will be doing something positive to help me on this journey of life.

As I gain more 24 hours I have changed up my meetings from going to speaker meetings to more big book and 12 step study. AA is great because they are world wide and accepting of anyone even NA.

Good luck and keep coming back.

Agreed. That is the way I feel about it as well.

Actually went to my first NA meeting last night. It was a small but good group. I felt that I could relate to a lot of what was said, and the literature resonated with me. Many have suggested going to both until you find one that fits you. At this point, I feel I benefit from both in different ways, so that is what I will continue to do.

Congrats Cellardoor...first step always the hardest!

I am celebrating 17 months today. It took me about 6 months to find a home group I really liked....now I play golf with the group members and we have dinner before every meeting.....I have even led a few of them.

Hang in there and you'll find one that fits you! Never went to any meeting were people did not want you to do well/recover.....adn ALWAYS felt better after any meeting than before I went!

Good luck!

My experience with initial meetings.....like most, we don't like, feel akward, etc., but it will pass.

First NA meeting I went to I thought they were creepy because they all wanted to hug me! I still think it is weird, but I know they are trying to welcome you. I found NA is much more raw than AA.....NA seems to have less long term sobriety and member are younger. NA people lives seem to be more is disarray (just an observation).

AA members seemed more stable to me......though I still don't like holding hands and saying the Lord's prayer! So, I either get hugged at NA, or suck it up and hold hands at AA!!!

Haha, I think it probably does take a little getting used to (the hugging and holding hands). I do appreciate the welcoming aspect since it is kind of difficult walking in there the first time, not knowing anyone. It does at least make you feel a little more welcome. And yes.. pretty much everything you've described comparing the two groups is what I've noticed as well. I think there were maybe a few members that had a year or 2 sober (not everyone announced their sober time), and for the most part, a younger crowd, and a little more raw. Still, I felt like a pretty good group so I think I'll go back. Got a lot more free time lately, so I plan to go back and forth between the two. I get something different out of each one. Congrats on 17 months!