Getting clean off Opiates - Day 4
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 2
Getting clean off Opiates - Day 4
Hello world,
Never posted to forum before but I thought my story might help some of those other there struggling with the same issues. Just a little background: I'm 25, done drugs since high school and all through college. Mainly just pot/alcohol with various prescription drugs and hallucinogens thrown in on top. I always tiptoed serious addiction but luckily had never been completely dependent/hooked. That was until I graduated college and started making pretty good money. I sort of feel I was always destined to be an addict at some point in my life, I just needed a steady cash flow and a solid connect. Well unfortunately, that's just what happened (opiates were my DOC). I started off just doing them on weekends. Then a couple times a week. Then daily. Tolerance soared and my savings account depleted. I went heavy on Oxys for about 1.5 years...occasionally mixing bars to increase potency. I knew this life style was not sustainable long term, however, like a typical addict I was only concerned with the here and now. I knew this route would lead me to jail or death...neither of which I wanted. I guess you never really know deep you're in, until you're in over your head. I knew I had to make changes.
Take it back to November of last year. My first (unsuccessful) attempt at going cold turkey. Let's just say I had no idea what to expect. The first 3-4 days were horrible. Could not stop shaking, sweating, or shitting. I managed to tough out the physical part (which last a little over a week). Then came the mental part, PAWS. Never knew how hard it would be to fight off being depressed, not sleeping, having no motivation all while trying to work a very mentally challenging job that requires a lot of my time. Well I made it exactly 30 days and thought I should "celebrate". That little devil on my should told me one would be okay. Just one then no more. Well we all know how that goes. I ended that attempt on a 2.5 month binge.
I have decided for my health and everyone I care for I needed to give it another shot. This time I knew more of what I was in for. I now am on the end of day 4. Luckily, this go round hasn't been near as physically painful. However, I know the hardest parts still lie ahead. Other than aches, lack of sleep and low motivation and I've been able to push through (while working every day). While the hours seem to crawl by, I know I just need to keep a positive mind. I'm really starting to realize how powerful the brain really is...and that keeping a positive attitude makes a huge difference in recovery. Recovery is definitely a rollercoaster ride...many ups and downs along the way. Some days you feel good then the next you feel like complete **** with absolutely no energy. I've found hot baths, music, and reading blogs have helped immensely. I've been on a Logic kick recently, I like the positivity he brings...def helps when you're down in the dumps. I really am dead set on getting clean. If I cannot do it on my own this time, I will seek professional help. I have burned bridges with the only connect I had. I know I just need to take it one day a time. I hope this helps anyone going through the nightmare that is withdrawal. If anyone who has had success staying clean and would like to share advice, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it. Stay positive and find meaning in your life.
Sorry for how long this got. Guess I had a lot bottled up?! 🤔
Never posted to forum before but I thought my story might help some of those other there struggling with the same issues. Just a little background: I'm 25, done drugs since high school and all through college. Mainly just pot/alcohol with various prescription drugs and hallucinogens thrown in on top. I always tiptoed serious addiction but luckily had never been completely dependent/hooked. That was until I graduated college and started making pretty good money. I sort of feel I was always destined to be an addict at some point in my life, I just needed a steady cash flow and a solid connect. Well unfortunately, that's just what happened (opiates were my DOC). I started off just doing them on weekends. Then a couple times a week. Then daily. Tolerance soared and my savings account depleted. I went heavy on Oxys for about 1.5 years...occasionally mixing bars to increase potency. I knew this life style was not sustainable long term, however, like a typical addict I was only concerned with the here and now. I knew this route would lead me to jail or death...neither of which I wanted. I guess you never really know deep you're in, until you're in over your head. I knew I had to make changes.
Take it back to November of last year. My first (unsuccessful) attempt at going cold turkey. Let's just say I had no idea what to expect. The first 3-4 days were horrible. Could not stop shaking, sweating, or shitting. I managed to tough out the physical part (which last a little over a week). Then came the mental part, PAWS. Never knew how hard it would be to fight off being depressed, not sleeping, having no motivation all while trying to work a very mentally challenging job that requires a lot of my time. Well I made it exactly 30 days and thought I should "celebrate". That little devil on my should told me one would be okay. Just one then no more. Well we all know how that goes. I ended that attempt on a 2.5 month binge.
I have decided for my health and everyone I care for I needed to give it another shot. This time I knew more of what I was in for. I now am on the end of day 4. Luckily, this go round hasn't been near as physically painful. However, I know the hardest parts still lie ahead. Other than aches, lack of sleep and low motivation and I've been able to push through (while working every day). While the hours seem to crawl by, I know I just need to keep a positive mind. I'm really starting to realize how powerful the brain really is...and that keeping a positive attitude makes a huge difference in recovery. Recovery is definitely a rollercoaster ride...many ups and downs along the way. Some days you feel good then the next you feel like complete **** with absolutely no energy. I've found hot baths, music, and reading blogs have helped immensely. I've been on a Logic kick recently, I like the positivity he brings...def helps when you're down in the dumps. I really am dead set on getting clean. If I cannot do it on my own this time, I will seek professional help. I have burned bridges with the only connect I had. I know I just need to take it one day a time. I hope this helps anyone going through the nightmare that is withdrawal. If anyone who has had success staying clean and would like to share advice, I'm sure everyone would appreciate it. Stay positive and find meaning in your life.
Sorry for how long this got. Guess I had a lot bottled up?! 🤔
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,642
hi, ood. welcome. lots of info at SR. I find regular f2f support is important. Meetings, counsellor etc. Also joining in regularly on different threads is a good way for me to maintain motivation- be part of a community to learn, share and get support.
Keep posting, support to you..PJ.
Keep posting, support to you..PJ.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 2
Hello again,
Just thought I'd give an update on my recovery. I am almost on the start of day ten (it's 11:35pm) and things are slowly getting better. All my physical symptoms (except non stop running nose) have subsided. I still struggle with low energy and motivation. Some days aren't too bad but others are a true struggle. I have noticed huge differences in my personality and overall happiness. I almost forgot it's possible to be happy without drugs. Luckily today was the only day I have to work this week. Hoping on a plane for D.C. in 7 hours for a nice short vacation. I've found keeping busy really helps to pass the time. When I was using heavily I pretty much abandonded my social life. While all my friends were hanging out doing things I was sitting at home along poppin pills. It feels so good to finally be social again and hang out with friends I used to choose drugs over. My brain fog is slowly starting to diminish and the cravings have been very brief and manageable. I will start working out once I get back from vacation as I know that will help with my energy levels. For anyone considering quitting but scared to....please stop, you will thank yourself in the long run. I know I'm still early on in my recovery but I will not let myself slide down the abyss again.
Thank you for everyone who has commented and given me some encouragement. I will try to check in again later this week for another update.
Just thought I'd give an update on my recovery. I am almost on the start of day ten (it's 11:35pm) and things are slowly getting better. All my physical symptoms (except non stop running nose) have subsided. I still struggle with low energy and motivation. Some days aren't too bad but others are a true struggle. I have noticed huge differences in my personality and overall happiness. I almost forgot it's possible to be happy without drugs. Luckily today was the only day I have to work this week. Hoping on a plane for D.C. in 7 hours for a nice short vacation. I've found keeping busy really helps to pass the time. When I was using heavily I pretty much abandonded my social life. While all my friends were hanging out doing things I was sitting at home along poppin pills. It feels so good to finally be social again and hang out with friends I used to choose drugs over. My brain fog is slowly starting to diminish and the cravings have been very brief and manageable. I will start working out once I get back from vacation as I know that will help with my energy levels. For anyone considering quitting but scared to....please stop, you will thank yourself in the long run. I know I'm still early on in my recovery but I will not let myself slide down the abyss again.
Thank you for everyone who has commented and given me some encouragement. I will try to check in again later this week for another update.
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