Femaleboss1980

Well all was well and then puffff im back on my bum
Few friends in a worse situation than me are pregnant im 36 lost a baby and then my strong relationship 5 yrs ago n never settled n tried since 😢
Why am i feeling so bad !? One bottle of chardonnay supped i literally dont know what to do i could cry
Im getting to old for kids yet i want them help

oakleaf82

Hi femaleboss. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. If it is of any comfort to you, my MD stated that I had until 40 to change my mind about kids. I am 34 with and never planned on having children but now that I am in my thirties, I worry I might change my mind too late so I asked my MD.

That said, I think that a healthy mind and body are what's needed to deal with whatever comes your way, and drinking certainly won't solve your problems. There's great info here on this site.

Ariesagain

Alcohol distorts emotions and makes us maudlin. You can't really evaluate and process your emotions while you're drinking because it keeps us stuck in constantly reliving our past pain.

Put down the booze, embrace being sober, and then you will see not only your authentic self but also that you can grieve and move on.

You know this way isn't working for you, right?

least

I'm sorry for your situation, but you know drinking will only make it worse. It is a depressant and it will bring you down. Please try sobriety again. It's so much better sober.

Dee74

I'm sorry recent events triggered your own sadness FB.

I think you're still plenty young enough to do, and to have, anything you want.

You need to stop drinking first tho.

Get sober, stay that way.
Get yourself and life in order and then decide what you want, and go and get it

D

PhoenixJ

booze not helpful- no? You are grieving what could have been and what might be...scary. Perhaps talk to a counsellor about you emotions- they are important. Then you may be able to focus on today- not yesterday or tomorrow.
Compassion to you- we (ex-wife) lost a bub (mis-c) and it is crap. Also empathy and support. You can feel better- with support and work, otherwise the crap default will come back, and we ALL know that one and the potential for relapse is. Keep posting.

Soberwolf

Dust yourself off & try again FB did you have a plan last time

Femaleboss1980

I know moment of madness all of the above is right and im back on the wagon with a little sore head today
Annoyed with myself and ive already concord those demons i think its just the fact 3 not 2 close friends are pregnant and i feel time isnt on my hands
Oh well my dogs keep me busy

I did not nor want to drink before late last night so the rest is tipped and im starting my new day before id of carried on today or kept for tonight !! Yuk

Thank you

Femaleboss1980

No plan can anybody point me in the right direction i want one
I based in the UK so things are different here AA is local ?

PhoenixJ

There is lots of info in the Sticky's on plans. Sobriety planning is like a business plan- goals- how to meet them, outcomes, evaluate and adjust. For me that involves routine and changing my thinking on everything- from washing coffee cups to trying to listen objectively to others at meetings.

AA meetings? In Aust. there is a web based guide to finding local meetings- also for SMART.
Good one for posting back, keep posting. Support to you.

KES06

I'm older than you but I too went through the whole baby thing (and marriage). All friends getting married and having babies. I'm too old for children now, but know what I DID realize? I could not have had a successful relationship or pregnancy because Alcohol was my best friend, before all else. You are plenty young to consider children in your future. But not while you're still dependent on alcohol!
Now that I'm sober, I'm trying not to play the "what if" game. I'm instead focusing on the many happy, sober years I have ahead of me to make the Life I've always wanted and deserve.
Good luck to you. You can do this. We are all here for you!

Dee74

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Here's a link to AA UK - also links for SMART recovery and Lifering too

http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd - Home

LifeRing UK - LifeRing

D

Femaleboss1980

Dee thank you so much i love the 101 tips and AA meeting literally 2 min walk from my house for sunday !! Im going and yes I realise my method was not working im not as strong willed as i thought !

Phoenix and Kes you speak complete sense i was very down yesterday and i need to appreciate the fact im alive and well enough to have children
Im going to beat this awful feeling and drink problem then bag myself a decent guy and get the life i always wanted

New business started too its all good and positive

SR is great

Thank you

Femaleboss1980

Anyone suggest books i could get and read ?

PhoenixJ

not books- BUT a reminder, a good one. Many in early recovery get distracted from the importance of changing their thinking, behaviours- and do other stuff as well- move house, (I did), new job (I did)- whatever- and did not think about sobriety so much as a priority, but another 'chore' to add to my life. I remind- just because without a solid sobriety- all of the things I tried- died. Because I would get comfy feeling sober, forget it's importance and 'move on' - downwards. Then I would drink- to celebrate, then to drown sorrows, then to numb.
Good for you on finding them meetings. PJ

Berrybean

There are a number of AA books available online and free to download...

The Big Book of AA
Living Sober

I also got a book called Monkey on my Shoulder for Kindle which really helped me in early days.

There are also lots of speaker recordings free online. I use this website... http://www.recoveryaudio.org/

I am also in AA in the UK and have found it a massive, massive help. Life changing in fact. My home group is on Sunday evenings as well, but I also travel to the neighbouring towns to go to meetings as well. Give me a shout if you want to ask anything.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Anna

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html

Anna

We have a great sticky thread with lots of ideas for programs and tips:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

And, this one as well:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

tomsteve

the big book of alcoholics anonymous would be a good one.
it can be found and read online for free.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous

I was quite amazed to read me described pretty good in it.
good solution,too.