Soberwolf

Stewy honesty is the best policy so with that my friend please for your sake come here & just say it first it's not to condemn you or embarrass you - it's to help you while you are struggling with a ever growing AV this isn't to scare you but remember what i said about kindling ?

The key thing your not doing is reaching out - that has to change bud, carrying on like this is just making everything worse, you don't want to feel like this

With you all the way whether you drink again or not i genuinely hope this is it with every try you make but now Stewy you got to try your hardest don't let your addiction gobble you up and define who you are - This isn't you & i hope you find the acceptance now rather than later youl save yourself a lot of heartache

KES06

Stewy,
I know you have listed multiple reasons why you cannot do a 30 day inpatient detox therapy, but to me that seems to be what may work for you. You'd be in a controlled environment and would be learning life skills at the same time.
That is, if you TRULY want to quit. I'm just really feeling right now you've given up and none of us want that for you! Please consider detox, Stewy. Whatever it takes. It's becoming too easy for you to drink.
Much love and luck from us all.

Stewy84

Thank you for all the posts and unbelievable support

I did it first time round by regular posts and getting support here and that's how I'll do it this time.

I've got a plan for the rest of today, to keep to hour by hour and I'll be posting regularly

tomsteve

Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober.

Acceptance is not submission;
It is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation,
Then deciding what you're going to do about it.

Dee74

Alcoholism is progressive Stewy.
What if what worked last time is not enough this time?

D

RainbowBird

Hi Stewy, just another voice of support for you here. I resisted inpatient rehab and made excuses like I'd miss my kids too much, I was called selfish and at first didn't have the support of my spouse to go to rehab |though they wanted me to get sober|, time away from work...But, I went and did 5 days of detox and then 45 days of treatment. For me, it was what I needed to really start me on the path of recovery. It has been 68 days today.

If rehab isn't your path, please do come here first, and as often as you need, to not pick up. Once you have your recovery plan, will you share it with us?

Stewy84

I'm posting now as I'm getting the first waves of thoughts to drink tonight.

I'm in my car running some errands

Then I'm going to have tea and play football

Will post again in a bit

Femaleboss1980

Where do you live stewy and what time is it there ? Hope your managed to sway the shops and alcohol isle x

SoberLeigh

Go home by an alternate route; don't go by the bottle shop.

Does football involve drinking by the players. If so, you may want to reconsider, Stewy.

Later.

tomsteve

im going to be blunt,stewy.
in other words your saying you don't want to put in any footwork for recovery. you will go for tea and play football, yet wont do anything constructive for your recovery? what about all the talk about you finding a recovery program?
you say ya did it before by posting here and getting support.
but didn't you end up drinking again?

nothing changes if nothing changes.

cmon,dude. get serious about recovery!

Delizadee

Rehab gave me 6 solid weeks of being apart from the outside world and it's influences and a good foundation to start with followed up by a strong recovery plan.
The most important thing for me was really accepting I couldn't do this alone and making a very solid choice I was going to commit to whatever I needed to do to stay sober.
The choice is yours stewy, and you can do this.

Stewy84

Gonna disappear for a bit guys

I am wasting a lot of decent people's time here and I'm not into lying and deceiving people to be honest

I'll be ok, got my parents and daughter, been talking with my girlfriend a bit too

Even when I was sober all that time I was abusing the forum talking about gf problem and anxiety

Inpatient rehab is not an option for me guys sorry, my ex would have a field day and stop me seeing my daughter plus a ton of other reasons

I don't have the answers right now

I've got lots to do- alcohol was no issue for 2.5 years until 6 weeks ago but I replaced it with junk food so the reality is I've been struggling with addictions of various things for 5+ years

I'll come back

2muchpain

The truth is Stewy is that your family does not seem to be enough to keep you sober. You seem to have many reasons to not go the extra mile and do rehab, CBT, therapy, etc. That's your choice man, but eventually if your a drunk like me, that kind of thinking catches up with you. Excuses and self-pity will just keep you in a downward spiral. Been there man and the end is not pretty. Facing reality is tough, but the only person that is getting in the way of your sobriety is the person you see in the mirror. Nobody is getting in the way of you being more proactive in your recovery but you. That's being honest. Maybe things are not that bad for you yet. You still work and have relations with your family, so even though you talk about not drinking, maybe you just don't see reasons to totally quit. If you are looking for attention SR will give it to you. If you want help SR is a great resource. IMHO, saying you are leaving SR for a while is just a way to gain sympathy and a reason to drink. Sympathy never got anybody sober IMO. Look Stewy, you have many resources that are available to you, SR, CBT, therapy, but you don't take advantage of any of them. I really hope I'm wrong, but it seems like you want to keep drinking as part of your life without any consequences. Good luck with that, cause it just doesn't work in the long-term. I hope you see that soon, because the results of long-term drinking is beyond description. John

Hevyn

Stewy - I doubt any of us feel that our time's been wasted. I hope you'll decide to keep posting, no matter what's going on. We need each other.

Forward12

If you think going to rehab to better yourself is not an option, yet being an alcoholic on a downward spiral is going to allow you to keep seeing your kid, you're going to be in for a very unpleasant surprise.
Best of luck to you Stewie, I hope you do find your way.

Dee74

You're not abusing the forum. You're not making anyone else drink.
You're not wasting anyone's time.

I doubt leaving SR is not going to result in you being any better at staying sober, Stewy.

I think on the contrary there's very great risk of you surrendering to despair and drinking unhindered.

I get it's not nice to make declarations and then having to come back and say you drank again...I get its hard to hear the tough love from some...

but at least the support, and crucially, the advice - is here.

I sense a real reluctance in you to do anything tangible in the way of change, and I get that - it's a classic part of addiction, and fear...

but if you want to change thing, you need to make changes Stewy.

Wishing you the best as always - hope you decide to stick around.

Cutting back your support makes no sense.

Aellyce

This was exactly my experience with a relapse after 2 years of sobriety. I invested time and money into 2-weeks in an inpatient rehab (note that I did not do the traditional timing). Never regretted it, it was very helpful to snap out of the relapse cycle. Then when I got out, I went to many meetings for a while. I did none of these when I first got sober, but I definitely found that I was quite immune to the way I got sober first time. Actually, doing it differently was also interesting and kinda fun. I'm still doing quite different things for my well-being compared with the first two years of sobriety, and it works well.

Femaleboss1980

So did you drink ?

courage2

Stewy, are you around? If so, keep posting and don't drink!

If you choose to white-knuckle it with the support of SR, I hope it works. Let us know how it's going now, ok?