New drunk on the board
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Hello Kim and welcome! I am an alcoholic and have been sober for over one year now. I can empathize with your story just like some of the other posters before me.
One last chance? That is what I had, but I went a different route. I had a chemical assessment done and went through outpatient treatment. Luckily, my insurance picked up almost the entire cost because the treatment is expensive - but what is a life worth?
The daily treatment was similar to small but intensive AA meetings, and I did bring my spouse to some of the sessions (there was a family night once per week.) It is important that your husband has an idea what you are about to go through.
We also learned how to deal with emotions and rough times without turning to alcohol. In addition, I attended AA meetings a couple of times per week.
Do you have access to an EAP? That would be another avenue for you to explore. We are all a little different Kim, but I do not think attending AA meetings alone would have been enough for me. I needed that intensive treatment - Like I said before, my family is worth it!!
Take care,
Dave
One last chance? That is what I had, but I went a different route. I had a chemical assessment done and went through outpatient treatment. Luckily, my insurance picked up almost the entire cost because the treatment is expensive - but what is a life worth?
The daily treatment was similar to small but intensive AA meetings, and I did bring my spouse to some of the sessions (there was a family night once per week.) It is important that your husband has an idea what you are about to go through.
We also learned how to deal with emotions and rough times without turning to alcohol. In addition, I attended AA meetings a couple of times per week.
Do you have access to an EAP? That would be another avenue for you to explore. We are all a little different Kim, but I do not think attending AA meetings alone would have been enough for me. I needed that intensive treatment - Like I said before, my family is worth it!!
Take care,
Dave
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
((((lulu70)))))) - Thanks for the link I'll be sure to go read it after I post this message. I am glad you told me about this...I want to learn everything I can...the good, the bad and the ugly.
Dave - How did you know to have a chemical assessment done? Is that something your Doctor recommends? I wonder if my insurance would even cover anything related to rehab --I have Blue Cross Blue Shield (HMO) I understand that they can be difficult. I have never heard about EAP...sounds like I need to do a lot of homework. *Sigh* So much to learn
Thank you for the info, Dave.
>^,,^<
Kim
Dave - How did you know to have a chemical assessment done? Is that something your Doctor recommends? I wonder if my insurance would even cover anything related to rehab --I have Blue Cross Blue Shield (HMO) I understand that they can be difficult. I have never heard about EAP...sounds like I need to do a lot of homework. *Sigh* So much to learn
Thank you for the info, Dave.
>^,,^<
Kim
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wish I knew
Posts: 428
EAP is Employee Assistance Program. I beleive you said you work at home?? Unfortunately, you might not have access to itif you are self employed. I think it's a service offered to employees of larger companies.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Good morning Kim--Hope this finds you well.
I did the treatment route as well. I had lost my job because of drinking, and didn't have any insurance, so I went to a treatment center that offered a free program (paid for by the state Department of Mental Health). I am sure there are options like that somewhere in your area. Maybe you could do some research on that as well. I know I could not have stayed sober without my treatment either.
I hope we are not overwhelming you too much. The most important thing is for you to take this one day at a time. If you don't drink, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Hugs--
I did the treatment route as well. I had lost my job because of drinking, and didn't have any insurance, so I went to a treatment center that offered a free program (paid for by the state Department of Mental Health). I am sure there are options like that somewhere in your area. Maybe you could do some research on that as well. I know I could not have stayed sober without my treatment either.
I hope we are not overwhelming you too much. The most important thing is for you to take this one day at a time. If you don't drink, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Hugs--
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 398
Welcome, Kim!
Recovery is a beautiful journey -- one that takes some patience, and certainly one day at a time -- but one that you can take with the support of so many others. We are with you on your journey!
ChrisMan
Recovery is a beautiful journey -- one that takes some patience, and certainly one day at a time -- but one that you can take with the support of so many others. We are with you on your journey!
ChrisMan
tha toastah
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: montreal, quebec
Posts: 191
hi kim!! wow, what a beautiful thread you have ;p
you have been very couragious by going to your first meeting. sounds like youre already at step 1, admitting you are an alcoholic and your life had become unmanageable. listen to the good advice people give you at the meeting, and the good tips in this thread.
I believe you can do this. your son and husband could check out alanon! theres even a section of SR for alanon!! keep up the good honesty you have shown here. its the key (k well one of them)
hugs,
tobia
you have been very couragious by going to your first meeting. sounds like youre already at step 1, admitting you are an alcoholic and your life had become unmanageable. listen to the good advice people give you at the meeting, and the good tips in this thread.
I believe you can do this. your son and husband could check out alanon! theres even a section of SR for alanon!! keep up the good honesty you have shown here. its the key (k well one of them)
hugs,
tobia
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
Thanks again everyone for the warm welcome and the great advice. I'm day 3 without a drink and I am starting to feel the effects. My hands are shaking so bad, I can hardly type. I wonder if I should give my doctor a call and tell him what is going on or if I should just sit tight and get through the day....I swear, even my organs are shaking 
The only good thing I can say right now is that I am not craving a drink...why? I don't know...I'm simply grateful for this.
Thanks
>^,,^<
Kim
The only good thing I can say right now is that I am not craving a drink...why? I don't know...I'm simply grateful for this. Thanks
>^,,^<
Kim
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
Originally Posted by kim37
I have never heard about EAP...sounds like I need to do a lot of homework. *Sigh* So much to learn
As for calling your doctor about your withdrawl symptoms.....I think that would be a good idea. S/he might have some suggestions for you, and/or might be able to get you in touch with some valuable resources.
-pedagogue
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
(((((((((Kim))))))))) I would definitely call the doctor. Not that you have to go see him/her right away, but it would be good for them to know what is going on. I am sorry you are feeling so crappy. The good news is, it DOES get better. Hang in there. We are all pulling for you!
Hugs--
Hugs--
Hopefully Healing Up
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Sober, Forever
Posts: 511
(((Kim)))
Here is a thread that I had after a really bad relapse. I dont know if it will help you or not but the first one that I started here doesnt exist anymore. I thought I was going to die, no kidding. It is scary as hell, embrace that fear and log it in your mind forever...It is what keeps you sober when it passes.
Thank YOU for helping to keep me sober today!!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=29541
Thank YOU for helping to keep me sober today!!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=29541
Rest In Peace
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Southern Cal
Posts: 408
Boy that link sure took me back Roy. Glad you are well.
Kim,
I agree with the others. You should definately let your Dr know whats
going on. And it does pass. Not easily, but it does.
Godd luck to you
Love and prayers
Bob
Kim,
I agree with the others. You should definately let your Dr know whats
going on. And it does pass. Not easily, but it does.
Godd luck to you
Love and prayers
Bob
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
Wow Roy that Link was HEAVY. Thanks for sharing it with me. I needed that.
I just spoke to a friend of mine about going to a meeting with me tonight....he said he really needed to go to one because he's still drinking. He's been drinking for the past month. His oldest son was killed in a motorcycle accident a couple of months ago and he's had a hard time pulling himself back together. I swear I hear ice clinking in the background when we were on the phone...I suspect he's drinking right now. Do you think it's wise for me to meet him at this meeting at my early stage? Hmmmm
Thanks,
>^,,^<
Kim
I just spoke to a friend of mine about going to a meeting with me tonight....he said he really needed to go to one because he's still drinking. He's been drinking for the past month. His oldest son was killed in a motorcycle accident a couple of months ago and he's had a hard time pulling himself back together. I swear I hear ice clinking in the background when we were on the phone...I suspect he's drinking right now. Do you think it's wise for me to meet him at this meeting at my early stage? Hmmmm
Thanks,
>^,,^<
Kim
Hopefully Healing Up
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Sober, Forever
Posts: 511
Glad it helped
Hey CRS/aka Bob...Good to see you again too man!!! Even happier to hear you are doing well. When I am having a bad day or tough times, I read both of mine here and it takes me back and snaps me into reality real quick!!
Kim..Glad to hear you are hanging in there, it's not easy. Nothing really worth it ever is. That's just life. I had a situation earlier this year that caused that horrible relapse and I will not go into it but it involved my daughter. All I can say is that the drinking I did only made the situation worse, not better. Things are not perfect now, nor will they ever be but she is getting better and I am sober....that alone keeps me sane no matter what comes my way. As far as going with your friend...dunno, you have to use your gut on that one but CRS who posted was withdrawing at the same time as I was and we helped each other through it with alot of help from the wonderful people on this site. I wish I could do more for you as I remember it well and I know what you are going through right now. You have a good start and a good plan just be honest with yourself and the others at the meeting and you will get through this...promise!!
Kim..Glad to hear you are hanging in there, it's not easy. Nothing really worth it ever is. That's just life. I had a situation earlier this year that caused that horrible relapse and I will not go into it but it involved my daughter. All I can say is that the drinking I did only made the situation worse, not better. Things are not perfect now, nor will they ever be but she is getting better and I am sober....that alone keeps me sane no matter what comes my way. As far as going with your friend...dunno, you have to use your gut on that one but CRS who posted was withdrawing at the same time as I was and we helped each other through it with alot of help from the wonderful people on this site. I wish I could do more for you as I remember it well and I know what you are going through right now. You have a good start and a good plan just be honest with yourself and the others at the meeting and you will get through this...promise!!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
If you have your own way to get there and get home afterward, I think you would be okay. However, if you are questioning it, maybe not. Will you go to a meeting anyway, even if you don't meet him there?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Moretown, VT
Posts: 15
Hello to all.
Well, I spent this past weekend drunk off my butt. Again.
I am a 42 year old male, married with two great 8 year old kids. I have been drinking since I was about 16 and have tried to stop several times.
I have tried moderation, but that doesn't work for me. The only solution for me is total abstinence.
I am really glad to have found the site. The stories of peoples successes and trials definitely help.
I stopped at about 10:00 last night, had to leave work early today because I felt so horrible.
I just don't want to feel like this anymore, and I can't bear to put my family through anymore pain.
Thanks for listening.
Well, I spent this past weekend drunk off my butt. Again.
I am a 42 year old male, married with two great 8 year old kids. I have been drinking since I was about 16 and have tried to stop several times.
I have tried moderation, but that doesn't work for me. The only solution for me is total abstinence.
I am really glad to have found the site. The stories of peoples successes and trials definitely help.
I stopped at about 10:00 last night, had to leave work early today because I felt so horrible.
I just don't want to feel like this anymore, and I can't bear to put my family through anymore pain.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Kim, you sure got some great advice and I am sorry I have not replied sooner.
You should check to see if your husband has an Employee Assistance Proram (EAP) as a benefit through his employer - immediate family members are eligible. Typically, an EAP provides three to five free confidential counseling sessions on just about any issue, including drinking.
I do not have Blue Cross, but I did call my carrier and let them know that I was going to get a Chemical Dependency Evaluation (These are typically offered at a clinic or hospital that provides addictive health services.) The Business Office Manager than called my insurance carrier with the results and got the approval for outpatient treatment. I did not go through my Internal Medicine Doc for anything, but I did not have any detox/withdrawal symptoms either.
Mind you, I was in the same boat as you - about ready to lose my family and desperate. I started a six week outpatient treatment program in two weeks - the treatment was offered in the morning annd evening. A weekly aftercare session was then provided for up to one year. This regimen does provide good results, but it is NOT easy, nothing worthwhile ever is!!
I hope this helps with some of your questions - By the way, early on in your recovery, stay away from alcohol, parties, people drinking, and no alcohol in your house, etc. I could not drive by my favorite liquor store for the first couple of months!!
You have seen that many people here care deeply about your well-being. That is the kind of support we need to achieve sobriety, and the kind of support you should ask for from your family. Like others have said, we cannot do it alone and it is a day by day proposition!!
Just remember to keep it simple!
Dave
You should check to see if your husband has an Employee Assistance Proram (EAP) as a benefit through his employer - immediate family members are eligible. Typically, an EAP provides three to five free confidential counseling sessions on just about any issue, including drinking.
I do not have Blue Cross, but I did call my carrier and let them know that I was going to get a Chemical Dependency Evaluation (These are typically offered at a clinic or hospital that provides addictive health services.) The Business Office Manager than called my insurance carrier with the results and got the approval for outpatient treatment. I did not go through my Internal Medicine Doc for anything, but I did not have any detox/withdrawal symptoms either.
Mind you, I was in the same boat as you - about ready to lose my family and desperate. I started a six week outpatient treatment program in two weeks - the treatment was offered in the morning annd evening. A weekly aftercare session was then provided for up to one year. This regimen does provide good results, but it is NOT easy, nothing worthwhile ever is!!
I hope this helps with some of your questions - By the way, early on in your recovery, stay away from alcohol, parties, people drinking, and no alcohol in your house, etc. I could not drive by my favorite liquor store for the first couple of months!!
You have seen that many people here care deeply about your well-being. That is the kind of support we need to achieve sobriety, and the kind of support you should ask for from your family. Like others have said, we cannot do it alone and it is a day by day proposition!!
Just remember to keep it simple!
Dave
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
Well I went to the meeting and it was great. My friend showed up on his Harley and was in good spirits and thanked me for inviting myself to go with him to this meeting LOL! He's been in this group for 20 years and introduced me to everyone he knew. Also, I met a lot of really neat women that reached out to me almost instantaneously—they all gave me their numbers. One girl gave me the Big Book - how cool was that?
I can honestly say that I didn't know what in the heck to do at this meeting....all of the things to say and do, etc... I have so much to learn. I will say, however, I thought it was a very cool meeting and I think I will enjoy this group. I was the only one who didn't share...that made me like an idiot....is that considered normal? ~grin~
I'll be going back tomorrow! Thank you all for being so supportive - I'm officially day 3 without a drink...going to bed sober tonight.
>^,,^<
Kim
I can honestly say that I didn't know what in the heck to do at this meeting....all of the things to say and do, etc... I have so much to learn. I will say, however, I thought it was a very cool meeting and I think I will enjoy this group. I was the only one who didn't share...that made me like an idiot....is that considered normal? ~grin~
I'll be going back tomorrow! Thank you all for being so supportive - I'm officially day 3 without a drink...going to bed sober tonight.
>^,,^<
Kim
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