The Struggle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 5
The Struggle
I am posting in the Newcomers section because after 9 years I fell and it has been about a year and I cant get right.
I know what I did in the past and it worked. Now I find myself alone with no support system. My meeting attendance has been non existent one here and there. I have dug myself into a hole that seems to deep to get out of. On second thought it is not to deep to get out of, I will just be a much different person once free. I am scared of the consequences. Change is the solution, but the pain of change is so great it cripples me with inaction.
Acting like there is no problem for a week or so until the stress of not working a program and having no support system leads to the break down.
Making these changes in my life are going to be so painful. Knowing what to do and not doing it makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world. The feeling of letting myself down is the hardest to overcome.
In addition to the substance I feel like I have a load of other problems, same as everyone. I'm just going to have to get back to one day at a time. Taking each problem as it comes and work through it. Time to stop digging and let the bottom be the bottom.
I know what I did in the past and it worked. Now I find myself alone with no support system. My meeting attendance has been non existent one here and there. I have dug myself into a hole that seems to deep to get out of. On second thought it is not to deep to get out of, I will just be a much different person once free. I am scared of the consequences. Change is the solution, but the pain of change is so great it cripples me with inaction.
Acting like there is no problem for a week or so until the stress of not working a program and having no support system leads to the break down.
Making these changes in my life are going to be so painful. Knowing what to do and not doing it makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world. The feeling of letting myself down is the hardest to overcome.
In addition to the substance I feel like I have a load of other problems, same as everyone. I'm just going to have to get back to one day at a time. Taking each problem as it comes and work through it. Time to stop digging and let the bottom be the bottom.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 5
Thinking
As the day goes on I continue to think about the path ahead. I feel good about the journey ahead. I am looking forward to gaining back a spiritual perspective and gratitude. It has been so long and I got so far off track that I was lost. I feel like being on here talking is like looking at the map and planning the journey.
I have so much work to do. This initial clean up is going to be gratifying. Thanks for all the support.
I have so much work to do. This initial clean up is going to be gratifying. Thanks for all the support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
[QUOTE=MarkG;6445483
I'm just going to have to get back to one day at a time. Taking each problem as it comes and work through it. Time to stop digging and let the bottom be the bottom.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a good start Mark. There's loads of support here...keep posting!
Welcome to SR!
I'm just going to have to get back to one day at a time. Taking each problem as it comes and work through it. Time to stop digging and let the bottom be the bottom.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a good start Mark. There's loads of support here...keep posting!
Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by MarkG 
As the day goes on I continue to think about the path ahead. I feel good about the journey ahead. I am looking forward to gaining back a spiritual perspective and gratitude. It has been so long and I got so far off track that I was lost. I feel like being on here talking is like looking at the map and planning the journey.
I have so much work to do. This initial clean up is going to be gratifying. Thanks for all the support.
I have so much work to do. This initial clean up is going to be gratifying. Thanks for all the support.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by MarkG
Making these changes in my life are going to be so painful. Knowing what to do and not doing it makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world. The feeling of letting myself down is the hardest to overcome.
.
besides, youre not a dumb person, but a sick one and there is a solution.
ya say its gonna be painful, but remember what ya typed here:
"This initial clean up is going to be gratifying."
reads like youre already startin on the gratitude.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 5
Starting with Gratitude
Originally Posted by tomsteve
you may feel dumb, but that's a lie. youre not dumb or you wouldn't know what the solution is.
besides, youre not a dumb person, but a sick one and there is a solution.
ya say its gonna be painful, but remember what ya typed here:
"This initial clean up is going to be gratifying."
reads like youre already startin on the gratitude.
besides, youre not a dumb person, but a sick one and there is a solution.
ya say its gonna be painful, but remember what ya typed here:
"This initial clean up is going to be gratifying."
reads like youre already startin on the gratitude.
The truth is so many friends are no longer here. Get busy living. Get up one foot in front of the other. Take the BS as it comes. Handle what I can handle and put the rest in the zerofux column.
Today I am grateful to be sitting at a computer, while my wife and kids are in the house, my truck sits outside with tools in it, and I have more work than I can handle. I'm going to finish my coffee, work on just not taking the first one today, and tough love myself into dealing with life on lifes terms. If I had a lot more more I would hire the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket to follow me and motivate me. That is just how I function. Heavy doses of reality, truth in the rawest form, and someone to say "Shut UP and DO the Work You Know You Have to DO.
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