Pretty big deal, (to me anyway)
 

I went to a rehearsal dinner last night for my sister-in-laws upcoming wedding on Sunday. With the open bar, I could smell the alcohol permeate the room. Everyone was very drunk. I ordered 3 club sodas and cranberry juice. No one even picked up on the fact that I wasn't drinking because I always had a 'drink' in my hand! It was very tempting with the open bar and all of my relatives getting hammered but I made it through.

The one thing I am worried about is during the actual wedding, I KNOW that the groom is going to try to get me to do shots because I am in the wedding party. I am thinking of just telling him that I am not feeling well? Maybe I''m on medication or something? It's gonna be tough because I am known as the 'big drinker' in the family always down for whatever is put in my hand.

Anyways, it's been 15 days and I feel awesome. My Dr. said I look great and my blood pressure is wayyy down. I also have an appt with a therapist next week who specializes in addictions. So hopefully that will help. Fingers crossed.

Good job last night!

To me, so early on, if a "no thanks" such answer "doesn't work" - it is ok to use the kind of lie you had in mind. The important thing- MOST important thing- is for you to get through the event sober. Anything that supports that- even avoiding the groom best you can or "mysteriously" being in the ladies at significant points, whatever, is for your own sober good.

For me, no event is worth my sobriety. And early days, having a plan- always keeping a "drink" in hand is a great one- is crucial.

You can do it.

Well done!

Thanks for the words of encouragement. The wedding is gonna be tough but I need to prove to myself that I can do this. Thankfully my wife is on board and said she will make sure I always have a 'drink' in my hand to keep the questions to a minimum. I am going to have to face this publicly at some point. But my sil' s wedding shouldn't be the place where I tell everyone.

I'm glad you got through last night.

I didn't make any public announcement because I felt that my recovery was very personal. I've always found that 'No, thanks' works very well, and I think it's good to remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you drink or not. If you feel that there is something positive to be gained from going public, then maybe it's a good idea.

Personally, I would do whatever necessary. Lie If I had to but I would not pick up a drink. You can do this.

Inplain,

My brother in law bought me an expensive shot to celebrate his daughters bday about 1 year ago.

He was already tipsy and was insistent. I didn't want to be the party pooper

I put it to my lips and acted like I took a sip.

Then I said, whew I am out of practice...anyone want this. 3 people reached for it.

Woke up sober. Feeling great.

The rest were a mess.

I have also accepted a forced drink, beer...than lost it. I drink loads of water at parties.

I am a non drinker now. No biggy.

I simply hate booze. I also hate sardines.

I love being sober all the way.

Feels amazing dealing w life pure.

As well, honestly, I still feel healing occurring at nearly 2 years sober.

I can't say I am totally clean though. I have gargled w 50 percent alcohol mouthwash and taken Nyquil a few times.

I am not going to call those slips. Those are intentional medical uses of booze.

I don't believe they have stalled my recovery.

I have not been intoxicated in 2 years.

I'm not going to criticize anyone for making up something...but I really don't think there's any need to lie - 'no thanks' or 'no I don't want to' work pretty well for me.

D

my drinking was so out of control, for so many years, everyone knew - they would suggest I not drink! When folks hug me, they always smell my breath. Bet they have been shocked the past 11 days!. Yeah!

I did it. Made it back to the hotel sober as can be. I almost caved with the groomsmen doing shots, but I made it thru without drinking a drop. Man that was tough bit in the end worth it.

There were a LOT of questions as to why I wasn't drinking. But I managed to keep sober, with a smile on my face. I think this was my first wedding ever without drinking.

inplain,

I could have written your last post.

Big party yest. and today for me. Lucky my wife has friends. Not joking.

There was and will be booze everywhere. Of course I feel the temptation, but I always eat and enjoy refreshing water or non alcoholic bevs.

I watch the folks drinking. If we talk, I look deep into their eyes.

When someone has the first drink, their eyes seem to change almost immediately.

They glaze up. Their speech slurs a bit. They try to control it. Usually, they get happy. They get insightful or something. Then they start to come off the buzz. It is a slippery slide into lala land and regret. The normies seem to understand this.

The drunks, like me, rationalize it is party time and keep going. Drunks are always looking for someone to join them. Drinking alone at parties looks weird. Awkward.

Now clean, for me, it is almost like watching a sad drama unfold. Trying not to get involved, eating peanuts, and hoping nothing too crazy materializes.

So, for me, parties are awesome. Drunks at parties are almost like a sad clown.

I can't save the drunk, they have to save themselves. I tried talking to my Dad and Sister before about our family drinking issue (they still drink hard at times). It blew up in my face.

No matter, I work to have sober fun all the way.

Thanks.

good for you inplainview :)

D

I'm so glad for you, inplainview. Getting over these hurdles makes us stronger & more determined. You'll be so thankful tomorrow that you didn't give in.

Good job buddy, early success with coping in life's issues helps future success. Congrats on 17 days and starting your journey so strong.