Stewy84

angry towards alcohol, it's robbed me of time, money and a relationship.

I'm fighting this with all I've got

Work again today, just poured my cans away, I've arranged to spend time with family at weekend and got band practice tonight

Stewy x

Notwonderful

Watch Rain in my heart. Read read read. Fight Stewy. You got this <3

Soberwolf

Stewy have a no matter what attitude in terms of reaching out before drinking

Come here & say it i know that's hard but it will keep you sober brother

Dee74

I really hope you take some action today Stewy.

D

PhoenixJ

Anger- energy that can be used positively and constructively. With a sobirey plan, doing HALTS 9sticky's- into), getting support- meetings/doc/counsellor. By exercising, journal, sharing and making that anger work. To turn that anger into a more productive fuel for the brain..peace of mind..

tomsteve

getting angry at alcohol is good. however, it was me that allowed it to happen.

stewy, you've already did the " just poured my cans away, I've arranged to spend time with family at weekend and got band practice tonight" thing as a solution and more than once.
doing the same thing over and over expecting different results=insanity.

the easiest, softest way seems to be getting ya drunk.

Stewy84

Do you think a different approach is needed than to complete just these actions tomsteve?

It is action but it's not really robust is it..... it's not got me out of this relapse

thomas11

Lots of Day 1's lately Stewy, let's hope you can power through this time. You know what its like to be sober and you know the benefits. Support to you.

gregknight

Best wishes to you, Stewie. Turn that anger into tenacious determination.

SeaOfSerenity

all the best stewy. I really hope this is your last day one

ScottFromWI

I absolutely think you need a different approach Stewy. Basically right now you don't have an approach, do you? Other than just not buying alcohol?

You've been given lots and lots of suggestions for different approaches including therapy, meetings, working with your doctor, rehab, etc.

So really it goes right back to what we've all been saying here for weeks - YOU need to be the broker of change. YOU need to take action. All the tools & approaches are right there in front of you for the taking, YOU just have to actually do them.

Horn95

Sounds to me like you need to go through in-house Detox and rehab. Is that an option for you?

DontRemember

Alcohol will make nothing better in your life. You've acknowledged it's negative in all aspects of your life.. Time to "nut up" and stop,buddy! Not for an Exgf but, for yourself and your daughter.

tomsteve

its more important for you to answer that question,stewy, and I think ya did.
im gonna be completely honest- getting sober was a straight up bitch for me. there was a lot of misery early on. there was absolutely nothing easy about it and that wasn't just the not drinking part. that included my thinking and actions.
the great thing was I only had to change one thing- everything.
and THAT took T.I.M.E. which= Things I Must Earn- earned through a LOT of action.
personally I got into AA. I went to as many meetings as I could. I listened at meetings. I read the big book.i started doingwhat the big book suggested. I prayed like crazy and didn't drink even if my ass fell off.
and repeated.
I was working full time building houses plus a 1 1/2 hour ride to and from the job site plus taking care of my mother that had dementia.i also had a home to take care of. I don't know if your familiar with rough framing, but its rather physically demanding so I would be quite tired by the time I got home.
but I made the time to go to meetings,read the big book, do what the big book suggested, pray like crazy, and not drink even if my ass fell off.
nope getting sober wasn't easy. it was the hardest thing I have ever done. the mental obsession to drink was strong. anything that came up my initial reaction was to drink. but I knew for a fact that alcohol was no longer a solution, so I fought. I had days thet were down to one second at a time as one day at a time was way too much.
as promised- promised that if I followed a few simple suggestions and got into action- the day came that I made a full 24 hours without even thinking about a drink. then the day came that the problem I had with alcohol was gone.
but that took T.I.M.E.
staying sober has been relatively easy.

because I wanted to get sober and was willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol

OceanGuy

Stewy, I recently had a relapse using the excuse that I reconnected with my little sister that I haven't seen in a decade. Seems like a great time to get loaded, right? Been on a bender for the entire week, didn't get anything accomplished. I AM FLAT OUT DONE with this poison. Poured the last can down the drain. Thank you for helping to motivate me.
DAY ONE.

OceanGuy

I just read some of the responses that you rest of you guys offered. You're right about needing a solid plan. Pouring the beer out and hating alcohol isn't enough, therefore I am calling the Veteran's Administration and making an appointment for substance abuse counseling. Cinco De Drinko is as good a day to put my plan in to action as any. I'll follow up with everyone and report back how it goes.
I hope you get a plan too Stewy. You can do this!

SteveAlex

Great job. Way to take action. Definitely follow up! Sending strength to you and Stewy.

CreativeThinker

Stewy...if you don't think you'll be able to get through the withdrawal period alone, seriously consider detox. You were sober for 2.5 yrs, you know how to do this!

Dee74

Great stuff OceanGuy

Hows it going Stewy?

D

Stewy84

I'm going to take a couple of days to read all the responses and information that I've been provided with since I relapsed and formulate a plan as in sit down and put pen to paper and structure things

I actually feel right now that I'm not a very trustworthy person to be posting on the forum, the addiction part of things is playing mind games and I'm not in the business of wasting good people's time whilst I'm wrestling with this.

Look back at the last few days posts, anyone can see it's like I'm making a decision one minute to stop drinking and then just caving in almost immediately. It's not fair to keep posting until I'm willing to do what is absolutely necessary to never drink again

I'm weak right now, I've lost my house and girlfriend and I'm just a bit low. I'm overweight and stressed out with my job. Not looking for sympathy by the way, just trying to document an honest appraisal of the situation.

I value this forum and the effort people go to in formulating responses, providing support and giving encouragement when needed. I also respect when people take a tough approach with advice- it is clear that this thing can be the end of the line for some people.

Tonight I just feel done in, in the 2.5 years I wasn't drinking, I came away from this forum but in the background I was binge eating 1000's calories per night of food. It's all the same stuff- addiction no more no less- still haven't addressed it.

I'm not able to go to rehab- it's not an option- I have my daughter, job and responsibility and I need to be addressing that as well as the addiction issues.

I think it's best if I just disappear for a day or 2, not because I'm bailing out, just so I can get perspective on this and not feel like I'm wasting people's time and good will.

I'm not a stupid person, but this addiction is making a fool of me and I don't like that.