Stewy84

I'm drinking, been positive for a couple of days and it's flicked like a switch

Need to get into the habit of posting prior to the mistake rather than after the event

It's destructive and disruptive. The relapse has only confirmed what I already know about drinking

I think I need a more robust plan to tackle this relapse. Whatever I'm doing now or have been trying to do is not quite working.

I'm going to start again now, I'm sick in my stomach and now is time to stop.

I'm going to need to dig deeper than ever before for this one. Because not only am I vulnerable to alcohol but also to junk food.

I'm not here to waste anyone's time, it's best for me to post in any circumstances to ensure that I make myself accountable

SteveAlex

Everytime you drink you either come here and post during or after. You obviously subconsciously want to quit. You have to put it as thr #1 thing. Over family, relationships, yourself. Everything. It has to be the most important thing in your life or you will lose all the rest. Praying for you Stewy. I been there.

Hevyn

Stewy, you are never a waste of our time.

AnvilheadII

ok so what happened between this post from about FIVE HOURS ago:

Just finished work, sober again, good feeling.

I'm going to watch footie tonight and play guitar then later on go for a walk if the weather is still nice

Hi to all on the forum

to now and you holding onto a beer???? the beer didn't just magically show up there. you made a conscious EFFORT to put it there. and you need very much to zero in on exactly where your thinking went off course and exactly what you need to do to prevent that from happening again.

NO drinking means NO drinking EVER. period. no matter what. even if you WANT to. even if you @ss falls off.

as i suggested to another poster earlier, if you think you've come up with the one justifiable excuse to drink, come here first and we'll run it thru the BS meter.

DUMP.IT.OUT Stew. ALL of it. it's really time to be done with this, eh?

Forward12

For sure the best plan of action. Posting before you do something stupid, is far more beneficial than after the fact.
Have you put a plan in action? Hitting up AA? Start seeing an addiction therapist? Perhaps rehab?

Dee74

I think there's two parts to change, Stewy - thinking about what that change might be, and then taking real, definite and meaningful action.

You've got the first part down - what do you think is holding you back from moving onto the second one?

D

Stewy84

I'm clinging onto the false belief that the drink can somehow help me.....

Whilst I'm drinking I'm not properly dealing with relationship breakdown or responsibilities

I'm just about to get out of bed now, there are 8 cans in my room, I'm going to go right away and pour them out

Meraviglioso

Good job on pouring them out Stewy, that is the first step. It is time to put a serious plan into action.
You seem to be in a tough spot with not wanting to drink yet still finding yourself at other times wanting to drink to deal with relationship problems, etc.
You need to make the CHOICE not to drink now. Each time.
While reading your post I thought of something I heard in rehab that really hit me.
Our psychologist said it might be helpful for us to rephrase our thoughts about drinking to say that we CHOOSE not to drink.

We shouldn't say we do not WANT to drink because sometimes that is not true, we DO want to drink.
We shouldn't say we CANNOT drink, because that is not true, we CAN go down to the shop and buy alcohol, we CAN open the bottle and pour it down our throats.
We should say we CHOOSE not to drink because we can make the CHOICE not to even when we want to and even when we can.

Try making this positive choice for yourself Stewy. It is not always easy but you do have the power to chose not to drink.