Sammy1980

Sprtslife, Please don't think I am judging you! I have been sober now for only three months and would be the last person to judge someone else for drinking. I just wanted to make you think about it a little. You can be as angry as you want to be but try not to take it out on your wife. I decided for myself to become sober while my husband continues to drink all that he wants. I had a short set back a few weekends ago were I had a few drinks and he told me to not start drinking again after he had a blackout the night before. Was I mad? Oh yeah! but I got over it and told myself I was only hurting myself. Hang in there and just try to go with it. It can't hurt and can only help.
Good Luck to you.

noneever

You sound really angry and frankly, bitter. If you think your kids haven't noticed or aren't affected by your drinking then you are in deep denial.

Sprtslife

She can be entitled to anything she wants you're correct. She can also think 2+2 = 5. Doesn't make her right. No, she has asked me to slow down throughout the years. I stopped once for 52 days and was miserable. Ive been concerned from a health standpoint on one occasion, but I'm fine. Never been concerned from an "I'm putting my family 2nd standpoint". Never. If I thought that in my heart, I wouldn't drink.

Fatboyanon

It has to be for you. I am and alcoholic and I was extremely "high functioning" never been in much trouble never affected how we live but it got progressively worse and I felt my emotions were becoming unmanageable. Then I was declined life insurance and had major health problems due to my alcoholism. I wasn't ready to quit drinking because I hadn't gotten to the point where I was living on the street with no family to turn to. You don't have to hit that kind of bottom to quit but ultimately you have to make the decision to quit and the reasons have to be up to you.

Sprtslife

My sons 3 who I play with more than his mom. And my daughter lives in the states. I get on a plane from the uk every other month to go visit her and spend the week with her, then take her back to tour Europe during her summer vacation. We should all be as deprived as my children.

noneever

You've described yourself as an alcoholic. An alcoholic puts alcohol first- including before family. I suspect you're so angry because you know deep down that alcohol is the priority in your life and alarm bells are ringing. If you were truly ok with your choices, you wouldn't be posting here.

Sprtslife

That's the problem. This ultimatum was given to me. It's not coming from me, but I'll go to the 30 day rehab. Maybe a therapist will knock some sense into me. I'm not very optimistic about it. I wonder what my wife's expectations are. She may be sorely disappointed.

Shitzupuppy

I know how this is going to end.good luck to ya

noneever

With your current line of thinking, I have no doubt your wife will be disappointed. I wish you luck and hope that rehab helps flick a more positive switch for you.

ScottFromWI

So what exactly are you seeking here then Sprtslife? We understand you aren't happy that your wife has given you an ultimatum about your drinking. You also agree that your best choice is to stop drinking. And yes we understand you don't like the fact that you've been asked to stop drinking - none of us did either.

You have a 2 choices basically - accept that drinking is a problem and move forward or fight it. We can help you with the former, you are kind of on your own if you choose the latter.

Sprtslife

I'm posting here because I commited to go to a rehab facility and I wanted to get an idea as to what to expect and see how people react to my feelings. Very offensive, so far I may add. I'm angry cause I feel as though my wife's using her leverage economically towards me. She knows I have no choice. That's why I'm angry. To be frank I used to drink more before we moved here.

The whole idea of putting alcohol ahead of family I don't grasp? One isn't correlated to the other. I could have a drink on the table and play with my son, or I don't have to have a drink on the table and play with my son. Either way I'm playing with my son. I'm not choosing alcohol over him, am I? I'm choosing to drink while I play with him. Absurd.

Sprtslife

Thanks.

Sprtslife

Thanks.

Sprtslife

I guess those to options are being debated in my mind as I sit here and type.

noneever

Be honest with yourself- when you drink while you play with your young son, can you, hand on heart, say that you are 100% present? That you're fully engaged and giving your son authentic, true attention?

totfit

I don't want to be contrary, but I think it entirely fair to both her AND you that she give you an ultimatum. She is merely letting you know what she can no longer live with. I think that is honest. She could just leave.

I think now it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to live without drinking. The decision is really not whether or not you want to live with her, but you really have to know you want to quit drinking or not. Treatment will be a great experience. You may "become aware". It is not the norm, but I have seen people that did not want to quit change.

No matter what you are really thinking about your drinking right now, just give treatment an open mind. It is not just that you owe it to her, but you owe it to yourself to learn about options so that you can have the best life. Wishing you the best.

Sprtslife

Yes, because I don't start drinking till 6, and he goes to bed at 7:30. It's not like I'm hammered with him on the floor. Quite honestly playing with him on the floor probably slows down my rate of drinking. I'm not drinking while he tackles me all over the place. Lol

Nonsensical

I once woke up under the coffee table next to some broken glass from a picture frame I smashed on my way to the floor the night before. My wife gave me an ultimatum later that morning and I couldn't believe what a horrible person she was.

Now I credit her with saving my life.

Time away from the bottle gave me a new perspective. I highly recommend it.

Best of Luck to You!

Sprtslife

That's well said, thank you for not taking the offensive like many people here have done. I guess they forget what they may have been like while going thru a time like this. I mean gees.

I will have an open mind, and I really hope someone shines a light on me. I've had a great life so far, and many happy times; that's why I don't get it. I may never get it.

Sprtslife

If I did things like that (not judging) I would expect an ultimatum as well. I drink from maybe 5-6 until bedtime. Peacefully while we watch tv on the couch. I have never verbally or physically abused her. She would be the first one to tell you that. I'm a quiet, mind my business drunk.