rainyengland

Seems a age since I quit but only day 18

The bad memories are fading ..I need a kick up backside and quick ! 😡

Shitzupuppy

Hangover, headaches, nausea, puking, shame, regret, broken promises to yourself, why did I listen to that AV? It's a lie.

Can't do just 1.

Stop, dump it out, don't buy, go for a walk, breathe deep, call a friend.
Take a nap

Soberwolf

Remember why your doing this - have you got a plan ?

kenton

Waking up and feeling too scared to ask what happened the night before;
Having to pluck up the courage to check phone to see what drunken texts/messages were sent;
Seeing the hurt, disappointment, sad resignation in the eyes of loved ones;
Hating yourself just that little bit more than you did the day before;
Feeling consumed with shame and regret whilst at the same time wondering when you can drink again;
Knowing deep down that there has to be more to life than this

That's just off the top of my head. The list goes on and on. Well done on 18 days. Recognise your AV when it starts talking and ever so politely tell it to f!!! off. You can do this

rainyengland

Thank you - they work ..not keen on being there again!

Funny how it sneaks up on you - feeling great physically,better than have for many a year ..mentally not quite so sure some days

No soberwolf I don't really have a plan ..just trying to push through until I can be normal again really ..if that exists !

rainyengland

F off !! 😊..my kind of tip ! Liking that !

biminiblue

Maybe some of your old threads would help...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...archid=7706524

ScottFromWI

Bimini has a good point..here's some particular ones you might want to check out.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ted-again.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-im-back.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ack-again.html

Another thing to consider is that if you are only using the bad consequences of drinking to motivate yourself to stay quit, you might want to consider adding a more proactive approach. Have you ever tried local recovery meetings or a self paced recovery plan like AVRT?

Midwest1981

Alcoholism is progressive! Your withdrawals will only get worse. I hope you continue adding up your sober days. I'll I have to do is remember the shame and I don't want it.

Fly N Buy

Reminds me of this in the big book - pg 24 "We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. "

Alcoholics have malfunctioning rememberers.............

rainyengland

Crikey! My posts ! 😂..I should read back and head my own advice!

tomsteve

I don't think ya need a kik in the arse. is it the craving and compulsion is coming back?

have you been workin a recovery plan/program?

PhoenixJ

I blacked out 19 months ago with a ciggie in my mouth. I had a fibreglass splint on for a very smashed up shoulder from falls- booze. I caught fire. I was found by neighbours following the screams. I woke up after being in a coma for 4 weeks in an ICU with 4th degree 20% to my body burns. I died 3 times on the slab. They nearly amputated my arm. I was on dialysis. My family disowned me- ended up homeless. I nearly died- encouraged to drink post hospital- where predators stole and threatened me out of every cent I had. surrounded by guys with drugs and guns and needles. I was a lecturer with a nice home. My father died when I was in a coma. I was in the same bed in the same ICU I decided with my family a few year before to turn off life support for my brother from severe alcohol organ damage (43). My wife (now ex) gets most of everything, divorce. My 2 adult sons do not talk to me. I now have complex PTSD on top of major depression, CSFS, scarring and constant BAD pain.
15 months sober and safe. I refuse any pain meds.

This could very well be YOU. It does not just happen to people on the TV.
Stop drinking. Get help

rainyengland

Jeez Phoenix - I'm really sorry to hear all that,sounds absolutely awful

What alcohol can do...

That's a reality wake up for me - thank you

rainyengland

I'm thinking about it more to be honest - first week or so it's all new and reaping benefits ..now that's slowed up and I feel good my brain thinks I'm mature,I'm clever ..just moderate,be sensible ..be like normal people

Guess I need to work on a plan ..I'm not normal am I

ScottFromWI

I don't think there is such a thing as "normal". But in the sense that your addiction/AV is trying to trick you - you are exactly like all the rest of us. That's the great thing about being part of a recovery community like SR or locally - everyone has the same problem. Sure we are all different but we all have the same problem and the same goal.

PhoenixJ

the point is- you have a working understanding now. the work begins...support to you

D122y

Imo...

I doubt what is going on has anything to do with feeling good.

I vote you are feeling anxious and depressed. This is the brain damage.

Drink and you re.prime your brain.

Resist and you get stronger.

Stopping and starting causes different mental problems that don't manifest with continual drinking.

Continual drinking is like being medicated on valium or xanex.

MsCooterBrown

Love to you D122y. I respect what you have been thru. Thanks for helping others. Including me.

rainyengland

You may have a point about being anxious - living a life without alcohol scares the hell out of me