Thank you for saving my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9
Thank you all for your sweet and supporting responses!
I do have a question because I am trying to better understand what works for recovery. I think you mentioned that SR was your primary support system for recovery. Did you try/use anything else like AA?
Again congratulations. Hi AAPJ,
No, I never went to AA.
What made SR work for me..?
I guess I realized that what made me feel overwhelmed by quitting, was lack of knowledge. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, it was too much to take in. I didn’t even know where to begin. How can I live a life without alcohol? What do even sober people do? What’s going to happen now? How will I feel? What will happen afterwards?
So I started reading, and this is where SR really helped me out the most. Through SR, and all of you, I learned about what to expect if I don’t stop drinking (= it will get worse, and then I will die), what to expect when I quit drinking (withdrawal, cravings and risk of falling back into drinking unless I make a plan, etc), and what to expect after I quit drinking (AV, PAWS, societal pressure, thinking you can moderate, etc). It took me two years, but I finally got to the point where it simply didn't feel so overwhelming. By reading about everyones experiences, and listening to everyones genuine advice, I came to a point where it didn't scare me as much, I guess. I got familiar with the idea. Just like when you come to a new place, and it scares you because you don't know what to expect, or how to act or do the right thing, and it just feels overwhelming. And then, when you've been there a while, and you've familiarized yourself with it, everything is just so much easier. For me, SR was like one of those high-altitude waypoints that you stay at for a while to acclimatize yourself on your way to the top of the mountain.
Another critical thing for me is to be in the right state of mind. I truly came to the realization that if I drink, I will die. I know I will. In many ways, I think of alcohol the same way as my peanut allergy:
I don’t eat peanuts. If I eat peanuts, I will get sick, and then next time I may die. If I have a lapse in judgement and have some peanuts, or by accident have some peanuts, I can’t suddenly just say “oh well, guess I failed”, and then start eating peanuts again. Because if I do, I will get sick, and maybe next time I will die.
For this to work, I have to put alcohol in the same brain space as peanuts, so to speak. I don’t drink. Because if I do, I will get sick, and then I will die. If I have a lapse in judgement and have some drinks, or by accident have a sip of alcohol, I can’t suddenly just say “oh well, guess I failed”, and then start drinking again. Because if I do, I will get sick, and then I will die.
Obviously, our AV will tells us that it’s not the same as a severe allergy, that we won’t die just this next time we have drink. Thing is, that very thought is what makes it so. The fact that we think “one more time won’t kill us”, is exactly why it will kill us. Because then there is another next time, and then another and another, and then I will die. And I think that was the realization I came to, thanks to SR.
So I don’t drink.
Originally Posted by AAPJ 
I do have a question because I am trying to better understand what works for recovery. I think you mentioned that SR was your primary support system for recovery. Did you try/use anything else like AA?
Again congratulations.
No, I never went to AA.
What made SR work for me..?
I guess I realized that what made me feel overwhelmed by quitting, was lack of knowledge. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, it was too much to take in. I didn’t even know where to begin. How can I live a life without alcohol? What do even sober people do? What’s going to happen now? How will I feel? What will happen afterwards?
So I started reading, and this is where SR really helped me out the most. Through SR, and all of you, I learned about what to expect if I don’t stop drinking (= it will get worse, and then I will die), what to expect when I quit drinking (withdrawal, cravings and risk of falling back into drinking unless I make a plan, etc), and what to expect after I quit drinking (AV, PAWS, societal pressure, thinking you can moderate, etc). It took me two years, but I finally got to the point where it simply didn't feel so overwhelming. By reading about everyones experiences, and listening to everyones genuine advice, I came to a point where it didn't scare me as much, I guess. I got familiar with the idea. Just like when you come to a new place, and it scares you because you don't know what to expect, or how to act or do the right thing, and it just feels overwhelming. And then, when you've been there a while, and you've familiarized yourself with it, everything is just so much easier. For me, SR was like one of those high-altitude waypoints that you stay at for a while to acclimatize yourself on your way to the top of the mountain.
Another critical thing for me is to be in the right state of mind. I truly came to the realization that if I drink, I will die. I know I will. In many ways, I think of alcohol the same way as my peanut allergy:
I don’t eat peanuts. If I eat peanuts, I will get sick, and then next time I may die. If I have a lapse in judgement and have some peanuts, or by accident have some peanuts, I can’t suddenly just say “oh well, guess I failed”, and then start eating peanuts again. Because if I do, I will get sick, and maybe next time I will die.
For this to work, I have to put alcohol in the same brain space as peanuts, so to speak. I don’t drink. Because if I do, I will get sick, and then I will die. If I have a lapse in judgement and have some drinks, or by accident have a sip of alcohol, I can’t suddenly just say “oh well, guess I failed”, and then start drinking again. Because if I do, I will get sick, and then I will die.
Obviously, our AV will tells us that it’s not the same as a severe allergy, that we won’t die just this next time we have drink. Thing is, that very thought is what makes it so. The fact that we think “one more time won’t kill us”, is exactly why it will kill us. Because then there is another next time, and then another and another, and then I will die. And I think that was the realization I came to, thanks to SR.
So I don’t drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Great post Bigfish, and I'm so glad you're posting. LIke you, I relied on SR only for recovery, and it's worked for me. I'm extraordinarily lucky because I've been "one and done." I stopped on Feb. 3, 2016, found SR on Feb 8 or 9, and haven't looked back. I think SR has been instrumental for me because I avoided the "moderation" pitfall by reading so many threads that conclusively prove that moderation doesn't work.
I realized that I was going to die, and in fact I thought I had about a year left. I remember buying things like razors, shampoo, etc, in bulk from Amazon and thinking that I probably was going to die before I used all the supplies.
One difference is that I post up a storm here, and in fact the Feb 16 thread is a virtual diary of my recovery. Sometimes I go back and read my posts...it's a mixture of sadness, humor, irony, hopefulness.
SR and recovery has been the most amazing event I've gone through. I have taken it extremely seriously and I think that's why it's worked for Bigfish, me, and countless others. SR does work, but you can't play around with addiction. You have to jump into recovery with both feet.
I realized that I was going to die, and in fact I thought I had about a year left. I remember buying things like razors, shampoo, etc, in bulk from Amazon and thinking that I probably was going to die before I used all the supplies.
One difference is that I post up a storm here, and in fact the Feb 16 thread is a virtual diary of my recovery. Sometimes I go back and read my posts...it's a mixture of sadness, humor, irony, hopefulness.
SR and recovery has been the most amazing event I've gone through. I have taken it extremely seriously and I think that's why it's worked for Bigfish, me, and countless others. SR does work, but you can't play around with addiction. You have to jump into recovery with both feet.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Mike 2 years!! Congrats. I can't think of a more supportive loving place to be than SR. 24/7 ...
Wait..is Mike and BigFish one in the same? Otherwise...congrats BigFish. I never know what is going on ....even sober!!!!
Wait..is Mike and BigFish one in the same? Otherwise...congrats BigFish. I never know what is going on ....even sober!!!!
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