Not really tempted, but really angry right now
 

I'm so angry at my husband. he's a textbook narcissist (or, maybe, he breaks the record). He has never been helpful/supportive in my journey through alcoholism. He thought it was a moral failing and besides leaving me (which at the end, I could see since I was fighting, hitting, etc.) has not been a support. fine. no surprise. He's like this in all respects, so it's something I deal with.

but, there is something that has driven the nail in the coffin.

I have mentioned here that at the end, I was 120 lbs. Not to be graphic, but he couldn't keep his hands off me (even though he knew I was drinking and supposedly couldn't stand this weakness).

Now I'm 20 lbs over and no longer as attractive (believe me, he's not one to find people beautiful with flaws. He doesn't find inner beauty or whatever).

I'm not going to elaborate much more, because I don't feel this board really leans toward this sort of dialogue, but I really feel like he's such a hypocrite. when I was at my worst, he enjoyed that as if a teenager again.

Now, he's not interested. He's a narcissist and if there's nothing in it for him, he's not interested. He has apologized, but I've had to have this talk two times. It's hard and embarrassing. Of course, he does not admit this, but it's patently obvious.

All this not to complain too much about that, but it is making think, "If only I could just numb this all out right now".

You have your head on straight and are not tempted, I am happy for that. Have you thought about marriage counseling or something.

This is not a forum for marriage issues but you have many open ears here. If you need to vent, let it go. We are all out for each other and are not limited to addiction issues. I only wish I had better advise or help.

Life's short and you only get to do this once. Please don't waste it with someone who devalues you.

I'm sorry your husband is unsupportive hopefully in time he will see things differently great movie on this called when a man loves a woman

At the end of the day know you will always have us for support x

Great movie SW! I've seen it several times...obviously I could relate to it but at the time I was in denial!

Not- Sorry you're husband isn't being supportive. Marriage counseling isn't a bad idea.

Hang in there!

Relationships with narcissist's are really difficult and I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. Couples counselling could be helpful, but often narcissist's don't want to change. Counselling/therapy for yourself could be useful, too.

stay safe- beauty is in the eye.....it is the soul of me that counts- empathy.

Thank you, all.

sending support. That would really make me angry too. You defiantly have a right to feel the way you do. Sorry that talking to him didn't help.

I'm really glad that you are staying sober through all of this NGST. As Anna mentioned therapy for yourself is a good idea if your husband will not accept marriage councelling

Have been through something similar in the past. He may be a full blown narcissist or not. Most people have some tendencies. Our media - culture isn't helping. Many of us don't look like celebrities. Twenty lbs more is relatively nothing. Your hubs is being immature and selfish. Words from my own spouse.

My counselor explained many males have high levels of dopamine until around age 50. I'm like, I can't wait that long for him and his brain to change.

Through faith in my HP, support from others I stayed. It was hard. Today, he has regrets. So do I. Suppose like most in life's journey. Much forgiveness has taken place between both of us. Were best friends now.

I also suggest counseling. Possibly a male mentor for him. Female support for you. If he's to full of himself to go, than it may be time to re-consider how you want to spend the rest of your life. Whatever he chooses to do, remind your self, your not in control of his choices or behaviour.

Good job in not drinking at him, or this hurtful situation. :hug:

Yes... Good job not drinking!

Obviously this is an emotional trigger. It's worth putting a little effort into developing a new replacement for handling anger while you are feeling it.

This will help your brain develop new pathways so in the future you won't even feel the need to drink.

Anger is a huge trigger, so hats off to you! Big HORRAY

Good on you for fixing the drinking within such an unsupportive situation.
-it was hard work for me, and my wife was there for me every step of the way.

The problem with narcissism at that level is that its rarely fixable. Counseling and srstegies are only a bandaid to help someone like that appear as though they care.

Now that you have your strength back, make some changes. -I wanna tell you to drop that dude, but that's cause your story made me angry. Only you know what's best. Please don't settle.