Hitch

Hi everyone.

I've been drinking pretty hard for roughly a decade now, I drank a little before then but it wasn't really a problem. A decade of problem drinking moving into alcoholism.

I'd like to say that there was one big event that made me like this, but I think it's just in my bones. I always felt depressed and anxious and as soon as I realised drinking made those feelings go away for a few hours I pretty much did that every night.

It didn't help that a few years previous I smoked weed chronically, giving myself a good few years of panic attacks as a result.

And so I've plodded along I've had some pretty terrible failures as a result of my drinking, I quit university because of it alongside several jobs. ruined countless relationships and have too many painful memories to mention. This has left me in my thirties without much of a clue about what I'm doing with my life.

So about two weeks ago, I decided to quit. I started tapering off beer by beer until we got to today, my first day without any alcohol at all.

On top of this I'm getting help with my mental health issues, I have a doctors appointment next week to get the tests done which I'm utterly terrified of and I've stated a slow exercise program to shift the beer weight (I'm around 75 pounds overweight, which is honestly way less than I should be considering how much I eat and drink).

Right now I feel like I'm just under the weather, withdrawals aren't too severe, just like I've got a bug, nothing some chicken soup and a milkshake can't pull me through.


Unfortunately my cat is sick so I need to drag myself to the vet and back, which without a vehicle is going to suck, but nevermind.

I know the real battle starts after the withdrawals, right now I can feel the way my body aches and remember that's what its done to me, it'll be after when I feel stronger that I need to ignore the voice telling me I can handle it.

Why now?

Aside from the alcohol my life, despite my many screw ups, is going pretty well, I somehow landed some decent work, I've got a wonderful relationship, good friends and my sense of humour is well and truly in tact.

But I can feel that I'm at a tipping point. My relationships won't survive this forever, they'll lose patience if I get any worse and I've lost jobs better than this before, it can happen again.

So, I'm here I guess to not feel so alone during all this.

Pleased to meet you all!

Pianoman61

Hitch, welcome !! You will find great company for the journey. Post often and read others posts. You will learn a lot

Be thankful you came to this point in your 30's and not your 60's.

Pianoman

soberandhonest

Welcome Hitch. Seems to me that you have really thought this through pretty well. The only thing further that I would suggest is that you begin to reduce your recovery plan to a written document that you can refer to. You are making a good decision to quit now, before really bad things start to happen in your life. Good luck! Keep posting.

Hitch

I'm going to make a recovery plan later on today. My mind is pretty fuzzy right now from withdrawing, so I'm taking things pretty slow this afternoon but I'm going to give it a go once I'm back from the vets.

Soberwolf

Welcome Hitch

ExhaustedPigeon

Welcome, I'm new at this too. Day two for me. We can do this!

Pianoman61

You know Hitch I am new in this recovery as well but as I started my plan I realized this is not something you can just put together and have it in your toolbox. It is something constantly evolving and becoming even more useful for you.

I know it is not always a guy thing but I think journaling helps as well. You can look back at where you were and say to yourself, I do not want to go there again.

I am a computer focused person I I put my plan and journal in onenote. This way if needed I also have it with me on my phone anywhere or at home.

Be strong ...

biminiblue

I treated myself like I was recovering from a serious illness, because I was.

Good healthy food, some fresh air, happy Netflix shows, as much sleep as I could get.

Welcome to your new life. We're glad you found us. Join us over in Weekender if you want, since this is your first sober weekend.

linky link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-4-01-5-a.html

or you may want to take a look at the "class" of April thread where you'll find others at the same point as you are.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Why not both?

Anna

Welcome, Hitch! I'm glad you recognize that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that stopping drinking is the right thing to do. And, it really is a good idea to have a plan in place to help you along your recovery path.

PhoenixJ

Welcome

Hitch

I planned on doing a diary as well, just to get a sense of progress. I saw a thread about recovery plans so I'm going to give that a read before I make a start.

Yeah I've found it easier to treat myself as a patient for now, I've got a selection of fruit juices and my task for today is to make chilli, so that's simmering away for a healthy meal later. I'm pretty much ok resting up I mainly just feel sick when I move around too much. The best way I could describe it is feeling like a mild flu.

My cat is sick too so we're watching trashy tv together.

I'm taking things slow, it took me years to get into this mess, It'll probably take a little time to get out of it.

One nice thought though is I no longer have to be afraid of going to sleep, I'll actually wake up feeling better rather than worse for a change!

biminiblue

Yeah, when the night terrors left I was so grateful. That 3AM racing thumping heart that I was certain would kill me, and then the horrible nightmares just before waking in the morning. Ugh. Do not miss.

Hitch

Oh some of the nightmares I've had has been completely insane. Frankly I didn't know I had that level of horror filled imagination in me until I started to quit. It's calmed down the less and less I've drank. I occasionally get the fast heart rates when at strange hours but its becoming manageable.

mayeve

Hi Hitch!
I'm new to recovery too. Keep in touch.

Dee74

Welcome Hitch
Hope your cat feels better soon

D

Hevyn

Proud of you, Hitch! We all understand what you're going through - and we're here to encourage you.

I'm sorry your kitty is sick.

Hitch

Thanks everyone =)

Hitch

Oh my cat is ok by the way =)

He has an infection but he has some medicine and we're insured so he'll pull through.

He has his favorite food (ham) and I've put the heating on next to his bed so he seems pretty chipper.

Hevyn

Well, that's good news Hitch.