Had a terrible day one
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Had a terrible day one
I'm back smoking. I can't handle aa. I gave it another shot but my sponsor was doing my head in. Could barely get out of bed all day and nearly collapsed again. One of my only friends is deserting me if I drink again. Would literally kill for a drink. What to do. Any ideas.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
I think it's just because I got my daughter school report today. They chose to have nothing to do with me. They are both doing really well without me. It really hurts and noone gets it. I thought I had moved on from caring but don't seem to have.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 114
IŽd find a sponsor that works for you-they each bring their own style. I had 3 before I find the one that I stuck with.
IŽd keep connecting on here and anywhere else that you can connect with people-it changed my life to connect with others!
Take care!
IŽd keep connecting on here and anywhere else that you can connect with people-it changed my life to connect with others!
Take care!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,657
Nothing works if you do not change you. AA is just a means to an end. Go to another meeting- somewhere else and just listen, just to be around people. Go to a SMART meeting. You are setting yourself up for relapse a bit- BUT you are posting. Keep posting. Post 20 times a day if it helps. Minute by minute. YOU KNOW here booze leads. YOU KNOW. Do not go down a path that just makes things worse. KEPP POSTING.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 50
I had a terrible day one too. Thought I was going to lose my mind. Day two is here and I woke up this morning without a hangover and it feels amazing. I will probably struggle this afternoon but the thought of feeling amazing again tomorrow morning is going to carry me through. I'm taking baby steps, but I'm still moving forward. Whatever you do, keep moving forward. Don't look back. You've got this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Originally Posted by sweetichick 
I'm back smoking. I can't handle aa. I gave it another shot but my sponsor was doing my head in. Could barely get out of bed all day and nearly collapsed again. One of my only friends is deserting me if I drink again. Would literally kill for a drink. What to do. Any ideas.
Have you looked into AVRT? I hear AV all over your post.
"I can't handle AA"...
Things like "my friend will desert me if I drink again"... No, they are setting a boundary for their own wellbeing.
"They are doing really well without me" and that you thought your were over caring.... this is also AV.
They have separated from you because of drinking. Why would you drink? AV is letting you play victim. Don't let it. Step away and be self-aware. With practice you will start recognizing AV.
You keep asking about ideas and have received a lot. You say you will build a plan tomorrow. How about NOW?
Don't give up and keep posting. Build your plan and work it. Keep your eye on the prize and use us for support. We are here for you!!!
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
I do agree with Nowsthetime.
Learning a few simple ideas from AVRT (see Secular Connections forum) have really helped me recognize that soooooooo much of my thinking was actually a product of being addicted to alcohol.
The basic idea is that you recognize any thought of drinking as your Addictive Voice speaking. That voice is literally a psychological effect of being addicted to alcohol. Once you separate yourself from it and simply recognize it is your illness speaking, it becomes much easier to ignore.
If it is uncomfortable to quit drinking, that is a good sign. It means your addiction is suffering and you are getting better.
It is no exaggeration to say that for decades my entire outlook on life was corrupted by my addiction.
I can't speak to your position with AA as I have no experience, but it is, as Nowsthetime says, worth asking whether your discomfort around your sponsor is actually your addiction protecting itself from being challenged. Generally, if you don't want to do something in recovery, it's worth asking yourself why...
Other than that, you are doing well. Keep going.
Learning a few simple ideas from AVRT (see Secular Connections forum) have really helped me recognize that soooooooo much of my thinking was actually a product of being addicted to alcohol.
The basic idea is that you recognize any thought of drinking as your Addictive Voice speaking. That voice is literally a psychological effect of being addicted to alcohol. Once you separate yourself from it and simply recognize it is your illness speaking, it becomes much easier to ignore.
If it is uncomfortable to quit drinking, that is a good sign. It means your addiction is suffering and you are getting better.
It is no exaggeration to say that for decades my entire outlook on life was corrupted by my addiction.
I can't speak to your position with AA as I have no experience, but it is, as Nowsthetime says, worth asking whether your discomfort around your sponsor is actually your addiction protecting itself from being challenged. Generally, if you don't want to do something in recovery, it's worth asking yourself why...
Other than that, you are doing well. Keep going.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sweetichick
Good idea mejorando
also might be wise to do some reading in the big book.
what to do,imo, would make sobriety your #1 priority. make whatever action is necessary for that your #1 priority.
and not allow the excuses that come into your head control your actions.
I know a LOT of people with mental disorders who have gotten and stayed sober
and theres a LOT of people on this forum with mental disorders that have done it,too.
but PLEASE don't do nothing. that gets ya drunk
p.s.
I think everyone had a terrible day 1
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Go for a long walk in the woods. Bring water, snacks or lunch and walk for a few miles. That is just one idea, but there are many. Exercise, eating properly and for me some supplements, fish oil, 5-HTP and a multi-vitamin.
The biggest thing eventually is that I needed to firmly get a grip on the fact that drinking did absolutely nothing for me, but instead much to me. I had to make a life doing things that kept me from drinking, but in turn I build a life doing things that make me know how insane it would be to even seriously consider taking a drink. It was not how much I drank that was the issue, it is the fact that I took a drink in the first place. What happened after that was a given.
There are no absolutes on how to quit drinking. For me however the things above are absolutes for me. I have done other things, but those are the absolutes. I also try and stay connected to other people, animals, nature, earth and the universe of which I am a small part. Don't get fed up yet. As is said, "don't give up before the miracle happens". I don't think it a "miracle". For me though it seems miraculous. I am so far from perfect I can't see it with a telescope, but my life has changed immensely, looking back almost miraculously. It was not an event though, but a still, I hope, an occurring process.
The biggest thing eventually is that I needed to firmly get a grip on the fact that drinking did absolutely nothing for me, but instead much to me. I had to make a life doing things that kept me from drinking, but in turn I build a life doing things that make me know how insane it would be to even seriously consider taking a drink. It was not how much I drank that was the issue, it is the fact that I took a drink in the first place. What happened after that was a given.
There are no absolutes on how to quit drinking. For me however the things above are absolutes for me. I have done other things, but those are the absolutes. I also try and stay connected to other people, animals, nature, earth and the universe of which I am a small part. Don't get fed up yet. As is said, "don't give up before the miracle happens". I don't think it a "miracle". For me though it seems miraculous. I am so far from perfect I can't see it with a telescope, but my life has changed immensely, looking back almost miraculously. It was not an event though, but a still, I hope, an occurring process.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
one night early in recovery I was wanting a drink real bad. called my sponsor and ratted on myself. he said,"yup, understandable, but how about not drinking for the rest of the today. then when tomorrow gets if you want a drink, go ahead, but call me first."
then hung up
made it through the night, but the next afternoon I was in the same boat. called my sponsor."i made it through the night and you said if I wanted a drink tomorrow go ahead but call ya first. its tomorrow and im going to get a drink."
"tom, youre a flat out liar. its not tomorrow. its today. just don't drink for the rest of today, then when tomorrow get here, you can have a drink, but call me first."
then hung up.
I got it.
one second at a time
then hung up
made it through the night, but the next afternoon I was in the same boat. called my sponsor."i made it through the night and you said if I wanted a drink tomorrow go ahead but call ya first. its tomorrow and im going to get a drink."
"tom, youre a flat out liar. its not tomorrow. its today. just don't drink for the rest of today, then when tomorrow get here, you can have a drink, but call me first."
then hung up.
I got it.
one second at a time
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
as long as you see SOBRIETY as a hard, awful, horrid, can't do it thing, it WILL be.
your post was rife with every bad concept you hold about recovery.
you WANT to get better.....but you see the path to GET there as too hard. AA, sponsor, smoking, cravings, bipolar, etc.....you "see" those as obstacles.....reasons why the proven path won't work for you.
IF you would set all that crap aside, and just focus on getting better, no matter what it takes, it won't be nearly as hard as your addiction wants you to believe.
you seem ruled by every emotion that comes your way. emotions, feelings, even thoughts are all temporary......they blow thru like the weather. they do not last. we are not STUCK in sadness, doubt or fear....we just keep running back there.
change your attitude. change your thinking. look forward to what sobriety can GIVE you.
your post was rife with every bad concept you hold about recovery.
you WANT to get better.....but you see the path to GET there as too hard. AA, sponsor, smoking, cravings, bipolar, etc.....you "see" those as obstacles.....reasons why the proven path won't work for you.
IF you would set all that crap aside, and just focus on getting better, no matter what it takes, it won't be nearly as hard as your addiction wants you to believe.
you seem ruled by every emotion that comes your way. emotions, feelings, even thoughts are all temporary......they blow thru like the weather. they do not last. we are not STUCK in sadness, doubt or fear....we just keep running back there.
change your attitude. change your thinking. look forward to what sobriety can GIVE you.
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