FitNonDrinker

I honestly don't remember WHAT exactly I told my husband a couple years ago. I was crying, and I prob didn't go into great detail. Even now, I am so afraid to tell my husband things I'm doing to hide it. He'd be very disappointed and I think I'm just a chicken. Once I told him those things, I think that would be "IT". I'm still afraid of that.

FreedomHorse

Hi FitDrinker! So glad you are here. I'm another Mom who shares the same story as you and the others who have already said hello.

Welcome! You will find so much help here!

doggonecarl

By "IT" do you mean the marriage? Or the drinking? Maybe your fear extends to both. As long as you are not accountable to your husband for your drinking, there is nothing to keep you from continuing to hide your drinking.

Done4today

Welcome back FD!

The stigma of being an "alcoholic" is strong until you surrender. Don't give your disease the power to control you. Alcoholism is one of the only diseases that you can recover from better than you were before you knew you had it. I would suggest getting sober before worrying about convincing your husband. Find a program of recover (i.e. AA, SMART, etc) and give it a whirl. You won't be disappointed with the results and if you are booze will always be there.

Make a decision not to drink for today that's it. You don't need to worry about drinking at your kids college graduation, their wedding, their blah blah, your wedding anniversary, fill in the blank reason. If you have a solid plan you won't even care about booze when these events arrive. You'll be happier, healthier and more spiritual that drinking is the last thing you'll want to do.

SimplyFree

Hey FitDrinker, I'm sure your sobriety could be threatening to many around you, but at the same time inspirational to them in the long term. I could see many people notice the difference of you in sobriety and come knocking on your door to ask how you got sober. Maybe secretly, but still they will ask. They know they are in a trap and they hate waking up hungover and feeling horrible each day. You will find there are people in the Corps who aren't completely captured by the culture. Most are, but some aren't. Hang tough! This is right and good.

ExhaustedPigeon

I AM SO GLAD I SAW THIS POST. I can relate to it so much. I too know I have a problem and others don't take it seriously. Including my husband. He can pick up the bottle and put it right back down again with no issues so he doesn't understand that I struggle with it. My relationship with alcohol is just so much more different than his.

I try the same things you have. "I'm not drinking on weeknights." "I'm only having ONE drink." I even limit the amount of alcohol I buy in hopes of stopping after a drink or two but it NEVER happens. I send my husband to the store for more, I call my neighbor for more, and the worst- I'll go to the store myself sometimes. I don't know why I have to get drunk and pass out every single time I drink. The fact that you and I can't heed the limits we set for ourselves means we DO have a problem with alcohol. Just because we can function the next day doesn't mean there's not a problem.

I saw where you said there's "drinking" everywhere. I feel the same way. I know that there's no in between for me with alcohol... I'm either going to abstain completely or be a drunk but I'm young and the thought of never drinking EVER again really bothers me.
I enjoy drinking if I'm to be honest. Well, I enjoy it while I'm doing it. The next day- I feel blah, my mood sucks, and I'm ashamed. But then I do it all over again that evening.

No real words of wisdom here, just letting you know someone else is in the same boat as you. Best wishes for us both.

FitNonDrinker

Thanks for sharing. I have wanted SO MANY TIMES to start an email or Fb group of moms who drink (prob wine) and find out how much they are drinking and what is going on with them. You are right, I know I can't just have one so there's def a problem. Connecting with others who are going thru this helps so much.

My husband will also go to the store and get me whatever, whenever. I know if I sat him down and told him how hard this is one me he would understand. If I asked him to help me stop drinking, he would. I guess I'm just scared to ask b/c honestly, the thought of never drinking again is so depressing. That makes me sound so much worse than I "thought" I was..... UGH!