Time2Rise

I had a few days shy of six months last year, but I drank Thanksgiving weekend. Now I'm back in my binge cycle. I hate this so much.

Last night I went on a bender into this morning. I drank and used other substances. I'm sober now, but I feel like crap. I'll be better tomorrow, but today is just torture. I'm so demoralized.

So tomorrow will be day one, and I'm getting back to work. I'll get my butt to an AA meeting tomorrow. And I'll join the April class. Time to figure this out; man I wish this wasn't so hard.

Thanks for listening

SteveAlex

Welcome back. Glad you made it back. We are all here for you. Let us know how the meeting goes

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Time2Rise.

I'm sorry that you have had such a difficult time.

An AA meeting and the Class of April sound like part of a good plan.

Time2Rise

Hmm, I don't see a Class of April 2017 thread? Am I missing something?

PippoRossi

Hey, Time2Rise. Glad you are posting. What is it about November? I relapsed last November, as well, after I had more than 4 years of sobriety. Thought I could handle a beer and 5 months later I found myself drinking more than I ever had and taking risks I never dreamed I would. Keep reading and keep updating!

PippoRossi

Try this:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-one-25.html

saoutchik

Welcome back Time2Rise.

Sorry to read that you relapsed but at least getting close to 6 months means you know that you can do it.

CreativeThinker

Welcome back! So good that you made it back and you're ready to hit it again.

Dee74

Welcome back

why do you think you keep going back Time2Rise?

D

ScottFromWI

Welcome back T2R. The meetings and joining the April thread sound like great ideas. Were you doing either of them during your 6 months last year?

Anna

Welcome back,

I hope that you make things work to stop drinking for good at this point. It might be a good idea to figure out what happened at Thanksgiving that led you to drinking. And, what can you do this time to make sure that doesn't happen.

Time2Rise

Thanks to everyone for the support. I can't begin to express how much your words helped me today.

Mattq2

You can do it time2rise. Yeah it's hard and takes work but you know how to do that.

Time2Rise

Hi Dee. I believe I start back drinking because 1) I like the feeling that alcohol gives me for the first few hours (even though the buzz isn't that great, and the emotional turmoil and depression afterwards are excruciating) and 2) after literally hundreds of failed attempts, I still end up deluding myself with the absurd notion that "this time I'll control my drinking."

I do know that I do best at staying sober when I work to bring out my better self, and when I work to maintain a sound spiritual and mature emotional attitude. When I don't work to maintain these areas of my life, I fall back into a more hedonistic and cynical outlook, and I end up going back to the superficial use of alcohol with the mistaken idea that it will somehow enhance my life.

So now it's time to start fresh and get back to developing a emotionally mature and spiritual outlook of life. To that end:

- restart AA meetings and SMART meetings
- restart my studies of Buddhism
- develop healthier eating and exercise habits
- remain humble and work to enjoy the simple things in life
- listen with an open mind to those people who have maintained sobriety
- and continue to read and interact here at SR

Time2Rise

I wasn't doing meetings, but I was maintaining a more emotional mature and spiritual outlook on life. However, I slowly stopped working to sustain that outlook, and I fell back into old habits. I should have kept up with meeting attendance, as being around sober folks does help me to remember the big picture and take pride in my sobriety.

Tertor

Hi Time to Rise. I am glad you here

PhoenixJ

Counselling helps me too.

Dee74

I think you're right - it's sometimes simply a matter of feeding the right wolf.

D

Time2Rise

Yes, very much so Dee.

Delizadee

Hi T2R!! My old fellow classmate
Welcome back, glad you came back. Good job on the 6 months! So there you have it, you did it once you know you can do it again. I did not even get 6 months under my belt last year. But I am here, and after going to treatment for 6 weeks on January 2nd, all of 2017 has so far been sober and with full plans of keeping on!
I have really found for me that keeping in touch in my community with sober folks makes a huge difference to me. I choose not to be around alcohol as much as I can possible avoid it right now.

If you are somewhat invested in AA, I'm just curious to know, do you have a sponsor, have you done or started the steps? I know the deeper working on the steps I get the more in touch I feel with myself and my spirituality.

Well I am really glad to see you back. Stay strong, we can do this!