Dreaded Day 3 thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 87
Dreaded Day 3 thoughts
I’m on the dreaded day 3... I have a long history with slip-ups on the third day. So instead of wrestling alone with my AV, I thought I’d post here.
So right now thoughts like “Do I really have a problem?” start creeping in. My AV is trying to convince me that I don’t. The thing is I run my own business (so it’s been easy for me to nurse my hangovers without anyone watching me…), I’m a devoted soccer “supermom” etc.
People don’t know about my dirty little secret, that several times a week I get drunk late at night as a way to relax and zone out. So in the past when I’ve been sober, people (drinking friends) try to convince my that I don’t have a problem! “You are so competent, you’re doing all these things, I’m sure you don’t have a problem”. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of heavy drinkers in my life (thankfully my husband is pretty much a non-drinker, he can take it or leave it) so I don’t really know what “normal” drinking is? Most other people get drunk every once in a while don’t they and do embarrassing stuff? When do you have a problem?
I know it’s not about the amount, but my drinking the past couple of years has looked like this:
Drinking until drunk 4-5 times a week. Sometimes managed to only drink on weekends, but only for short periods. Mental obsession, constantly counting amount, scheduling drinking, no time for hobbies, drinking takes too much time. Scared of not having enough booze in the house, maybe run to the store for some extra just in case… Sometimes managed moderation for weeks without severe consequenses (which makes me think maybe I don’t have a problem?). But often forgetting what was said the night before but not exactly black outs. Most drinking was done at house at night. Sometimes I’ve taken drunken walks late at night. In February I fell outside during one drunken walk, wounded back of head, was barely able to get home but didn’t notice injury until several hours later. This Thursday (my last day of drinking) I took another drunken walk, fell on my face on pavement, still bad bruises on half of face. This scared me and really made me want to stop! I’m also physically, emotionally and spiritually totally exhausted.
Am I in the right place here at SR, I guess a part of me is still wondering if I “qualify”? Sorry if this question sounds stupid, when I read this I really do sound like a drunk...Thanks for reading!
So right now thoughts like “Do I really have a problem?” start creeping in. My AV is trying to convince me that I don’t. The thing is I run my own business (so it’s been easy for me to nurse my hangovers without anyone watching me…), I’m a devoted soccer “supermom” etc.
People don’t know about my dirty little secret, that several times a week I get drunk late at night as a way to relax and zone out. So in the past when I’ve been sober, people (drinking friends) try to convince my that I don’t have a problem! “You are so competent, you’re doing all these things, I’m sure you don’t have a problem”. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of heavy drinkers in my life (thankfully my husband is pretty much a non-drinker, he can take it or leave it) so I don’t really know what “normal” drinking is? Most other people get drunk every once in a while don’t they and do embarrassing stuff? When do you have a problem?
I know it’s not about the amount, but my drinking the past couple of years has looked like this:
Drinking until drunk 4-5 times a week. Sometimes managed to only drink on weekends, but only for short periods. Mental obsession, constantly counting amount, scheduling drinking, no time for hobbies, drinking takes too much time. Scared of not having enough booze in the house, maybe run to the store for some extra just in case… Sometimes managed moderation for weeks without severe consequenses (which makes me think maybe I don’t have a problem?). But often forgetting what was said the night before but not exactly black outs. Most drinking was done at house at night. Sometimes I’ve taken drunken walks late at night. In February I fell outside during one drunken walk, wounded back of head, was barely able to get home but didn’t notice injury until several hours later. This Thursday (my last day of drinking) I took another drunken walk, fell on my face on pavement, still bad bruises on half of face. This scared me and really made me want to stop! I’m also physically, emotionally and spiritually totally exhausted.
Am I in the right place here at SR, I guess a part of me is still wondering if I “qualify”? Sorry if this question sounds stupid, when I read this I really do sound like a drunk...Thanks for reading!
Being Sober is Awesome
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Oregon
Posts: 507
Nonalcoholics dont usually fall down after drinking. I think you already know deep inside what you are but only you can determine that. I wish you nothing but the best. There is a wonderful sober life waiting for you if you choose it 
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hi Verona, in so much of your post you could be describing me. When I was drinking it was easier for me to convince myself I didn't have a problem. Getting sober has given me the clarity to really think about my drinking and be honest with myself.
If you have concerns about your drinking and find that posting here and reading posts gives you support and understanding, then I think you are definitely in the right place here at SR.
Only you can decide what you need to do but if you do decide to stick around on this site, I know you will be welcomed, listened to and understood. That's been my experience. Good luck
If you have concerns about your drinking and find that posting here and reading posts gives you support and understanding, then I think you are definitely in the right place here at SR.
Only you can decide what you need to do but if you do decide to stick around on this site, I know you will be welcomed, listened to and understood. That's been my experience. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME. At a meeting recently there was a blonde b/shell super soccer mum (her words).. She mentioned expensive schoold for the kids and the fact that she did not drink that much...but then said the people she could relate to the most 'were the metho drinkers'. Not you, her. Well done on posting. Keep posting. Support to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Posting here daily and multiple times a day really gave me ammunition for when my addicted self tried to convince me I didn't have a problem.
My posts, and the other posts I read that I identified with, were clear evidence I had a problem.
D
My posts, and the other posts I read that I identified with, were clear evidence I had a problem.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Hi Verona,
You sound very much like me. I also own my own business which for me made being an active alcholic easier. Your statement about being physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted really hit home with me. It was the final straw that drove me to sobriety. I just couldn't do it anymore.
SR has been a miracle for me. Coming here everyday reading and posting is just the daily reinforcement my sobriety needs. I hope it can help you as much as it does me.
Take it from me you don't have to live the way you are. You can escape the vicious cycle and live a sober life. I'm really glad you found SR.
You sound very much like me. I also own my own business which for me made being an active alcholic easier. Your statement about being physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted really hit home with me. It was the final straw that drove me to sobriety. I just couldn't do it anymore.
SR has been a miracle for me. Coming here everyday reading and posting is just the daily reinforcement my sobriety needs. I hope it can help you as much as it does me.
Take it from me you don't have to live the way you are. You can escape the vicious cycle and live a sober life. I'm really glad you found SR.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
There's a lot of information for you in the 4 words in your subject line Verona.
Instead of dreading Day 3 plan for what you're going to do to get past it. Fill the entire day with things that make it impossible to drink.
Your post speaks to me because it was me. I could go weeks and not even drink but when I did all bets were off as to what would happen. Every time something did happen it was progressively worse than the last time. Stop the madness now before it costs you or someone a life.
You can do this and yes, you completely belong here.
Instead of dreading Day 3 plan for what you're going to do to get past it. Fill the entire day with things that make it impossible to drink.
Your post speaks to me because it was me. I could go weeks and not even drink but when I did all bets were off as to what would happen. Every time something did happen it was progressively worse than the last time. Stop the madness now before it costs you or someone a life.
You can do this and yes, you completely belong here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
I am finding that the longer I go without drinking, the more I realize that I did indeed have a drinking problem. In the early days the AV is very active and will do all it can to convince you that you do not have a problem. Stay strong, you can do it.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
I think most of us at a time would keep making up every excuse in the book to keep drinking, about how we didn't really have a problem, could handle it, etc,.. but at the end of the day, it's just that, excuses.
If we truly did have a handle on our drinking, it wouldn't even cross our minds. That's good though that you posted, it's best to tackle the beast when it's talking the loudest, then to try and pick up the pieces in the aftermath.
If we truly did have a handle on our drinking, it wouldn't even cross our minds. That's good though that you posted, it's best to tackle the beast when it's talking the loudest, then to try and pick up the pieces in the aftermath.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Originally Posted by Verona 
Drinking until drunk 4-5 times a week. Sometimes managed to only drink on weekends, but only for short periods. Mental obsession, constantly counting amount, scheduling drinking, no time for hobbies, drinking takes too much time. Scared of not having enough booze in the house, maybe run to the store for some extra just in case… Sometimes managed moderation for weeks without severe consequenses (which makes me think maybe I don’t have a problem?). But often forgetting what was said the night before but not exactly black outs. Most drinking was done at house at night. Sometimes I’ve taken drunken walks late at night. In February I fell outside during one drunken walk, wounded back of head, was barely able to get home but didn’t notice injury until several hours later. This Thursday (my last day of drinking) I took another drunken walk, fell on my face on pavement, still bad bruises on half of face. This scared me and really made me want to stop! I’m also physically, emotionally and spiritually totally exhausted.
Here's what your drinking "friends" don't know...most of that exhaustion, anxiety, and stress that drinking supposedly helps is actually created by the drinking. I have been through six months of enormous life changes and stressors lately...and I'm absolutely gobsmacked at the difference between how I handle things sober versus the meltdown mess I would have been drinking.
That first week is rough, no doubt. And it takes time to get past all of the damage alcohol does to our emotions and bodies.
But it's incredibly worth it.
So smack your AV over the head and get on with your one precious life, yes?
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