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Only you know what it feels like Only you know what it feels like to be an alcoholic. Normies might think they have a clue. But they don't. Your therapist might think he/she has a clue. But they don't, unless they were an alcoholic too. The desperation is so real, you can taste it. It's impossible to put it into words. There's no way for anyone to get even the slightest idea of what it's like, unless they were an alcoholic. Maybe if they were suicidal. Where things are so bad, they feel there's no other way to escape hell. They probably can relate to a degree. I was in my personal hell when I posted day 1. A hell that only you would understand. I lost a good paying 20yr career, blew my 401k, lost my family, and my home. All because I was an addict. Those things happened because I used alcohol and pain killers as a way to escape emotional pain. I was depressed. All starting with the death of my father. I didn't become a drunk right away. Took some time to get there. But as issues kept popping up, and stresses built, I drank more and more to escape it all. When I was drunk, I was happy. I didn't have regrets. I wasn't insecure. I wasn't shy. I was happy. For a while anyway. But there comes a point where even bring drunk all day doesn't drown the pain. Pain that grows and grows because you don't deal with it properly. One problem after another. They just keep piling up. Never mind the shame that comes with being a drunk all the time! It changes your whole outlook on life for the worse. Things keep getting worse. Just when you think it couldn't possibly be worse, something bad happens. And meanwhile, nothing is being dealt with properly. Either acted upon, resolved, or dealt with emotionally in a healthy way. I bet many of you know what I'm talking about. A fellow alcoholic has the best chance of knowing what kind of hell I was in. Here's the thing though. Nobody knows what it's like being a RECOVERING alcoholic either. The freedom. The pride. The joy. Bejng a recovering alcoholic is one of the BEST feeling in the world. I know because I am 2years sober TODAY :) I was just sharing with my brothers over at April 15 and thanking them for their support. Just being there was enough to get me where I am today. You are not alone. You are not stuck in place with no way out. There IS a door waiting for you to walk through. I know what it feels like to be desperate. I know what it feels like to be free. And I know what it feels like early on in sobriety. It's not easy. It is hard and it does take work. It's so hard, you can't so it alone. This is where SR can be a major tool in your bag. It may very well take more than just an online forum. Give it everything you have. Go all in. Use SR for everything it has to offer. Go to meetings. Read books. See a therapist. See a doctor. Do it all and be done! Yes, it's a lot of work. But it's worth it. Trust me. Being a recovering alcoholic is the best feeling in the world. And only another recovering alcoholic knows what I'm taking about. It's awesome. Join me and see! |
incredibly inspirational post Incontrol. congrats on the 2 years! |
Great post! Thank you! |
1 Attachment(s) What a wonderful, inspirational post Incontrol15. You're right about no one but an alcoholic being able to understand what it is like to be one. I could not have conceived what it was like until I became one. Enjoy those good feelings - you've earned them. |
“I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.” ― Heather King, Parched: A Memoir |
Congratulations on your two years. Its amazing that we build our own cages, and lock ourselves in, but good that we kept the key in our pocket. |
Excellent and so true. Very good post incontrol. |
Congrats on two years sober and thank you for the inspiring message. :hug: :scoregood |
Originally Posted by Incontrol15
(Post 6420991)
Only you know what it feels like to be an alcoholic. Normies might think they have a clue. But they don't. Your therapist might think he/she has a clue. But they don't, unless they were an alcoholic too. The desperation is so real, you can taste it. It's impossible to put it into words. There's no way for anyone to get even the slightest idea of what it's like, unless they were an alcoholic. Maybe if they were suicidal. Where things are so bad, they feel there's no other way to escape hell. They probably can relate to a degree. I was in my personal hell when I posted day 1. A hell that only you would understand. I lost a good paying 20yr career, blew my 401k, lost my family, and my home. All because I was an addict. Those things happened because I used alcohol and pain killers as a way to escape emotional pain. I was depressed. All starting with the death of my father. I didn't become a drunk right away. Took some time to get there. But as issues kept popping up, and stresses built, I drank more and more to escape it all. When I was drunk, I was happy. I didn't have regrets. I wasn't insecure. I wasn't shy. I was happy. For a while anyway. But there comes a point where even bring drunk all day doesn't drown the pain. Pain that grows and grows because you don't deal with it properly. One problem after another. They just keep piling up. Never mind the shame that comes with being a drunk all the time! It changes your whole outlook on life for the worse. Things keep getting worse. Just when you think it couldn't possibly be worse, something bad happens. And meanwhile, nothing is being dealt with properly. Either acted upon, resolved, or dealt with emotionally in a healthy way. I bet many of you know what I'm talking about. A fellow alcoholic has the best chance of knowing what kind of hell I was in. Here's the thing though. Nobody knows what it's like being a RECOVERING alcoholic either. The freedom. The pride. The joy. Bejng a recovering alcoholic is one of the BEST feeling in the world. I know because I am 2years sober TODAY :) I was just sharing with my brothers over at April 15 and thanking them for their support. Just being there was enough to get me where I am today. You are not alone. You are not stuck in place with no way out. There IS a door waiting for you to walk through. I know what it feels like to be desperate. I know what it feels like to be free. And I know what it feels like early on in sobriety. It's not easy. It is hard and it does take work. It's so hard, you can't so it alone. This is where SR can be a major tool in your bag. It may very well take more than just an online forum. Give it everything you have. Go all in. Use SR for everything it has to offer. Go to meetings. Read books. See a therapist. See a doctor. Do it all and be done! Yes, it's a lot of work. But it's worth it. Trust me. Being a recovering alcoholic is the best feeling in the world. And only another recovering alcoholic knows what I'm taking about. It's awesome. Join me and see! Yes, the answer to life's pain and struggles are definitely NOT at the bottom of a bottle. I know too because I tried to make the pain go away and if never really did. Finally got into counseling to address the issues and that really opened a door for me. My counselor told me some things I didn't really like to hear, but she was the very first person I actually told the TRUTH to. On my first visit to her I told her I was there because of stress and insomnia. But it didn't take long for her to zero in on OTHER issues!! Like some childhood trauma and PTSD. So anyways, it IS good to free of the bondage, isn't it? And big congrats on 2 years! |
You nailed it, Incontrol! Thank you for your post. :) Congratulations on 2 years. :c011: |
I wholeheartedly agree, Incontrol! 2 years is fabulous. :) |
Wow, what a fantastic post!!! :grouphug: You took me down to the depths of my drinking and then brought me all the way back up to the unbelievable joys of recovery! :tyou Congratulations on 2 years and this post....just WOW!!! :scoregood :c011: :dancer5: |
Thank you.
Originally Posted by Incontrol15
(Post 6420991)
Only you know what it feels like to be an alcoholic. Normies might think they have a clue. But they don't. Your therapist might think he/she has a clue. But they don't, unless they were an alcoholic too. The desperation is so real, you can taste it. It's impossible to put it into words. There's no way for anyone to get even the slightest idea of what it's like, unless they were an alcoholic. Maybe if they were suicidal. Where things are so bad, they feel there's no other way to escape hell. They probably can relate to a degree. I was in my personal hell when I posted day 1. A hell that only you would understand. I lost a good paying 20yr career, blew my 401k, lost my family, and my home. All because I was an addict. Those things happened because I used alcohol and pain killers as a way to escape emotional pain. I was depressed. All starting with the death of my father. I didn't become a drunk right away. Took some time to get there. But as issues kept popping up, and stresses built, I drank more and more to escape it all. When I was drunk, I was happy. I didn't have regrets. I wasn't insecure. I wasn't shy. I was happy. For a while anyway. But there comes a point where even bring drunk all day doesn't drown the pain. Pain that grows and grows because you don't deal with it properly. One problem after another. They just keep piling up. Never mind the shame that comes with being a drunk all the time! It changes your whole outlook on life for the worse. Things keep getting worse. Just when you think it couldn't possibly be worse, something bad happens. And meanwhile, nothing is being dealt with properly. Either acted upon, resolved, or dealt with emotionally in a healthy way. I bet many of you know what I'm talking about. A fellow alcoholic has the best chance of knowing what kind of hell I was in. Here's the thing though. Nobody knows what it's like being a RECOVERING alcoholic either. The freedom. The pride. The joy. Bejng a recovering alcoholic is one of the BEST feeling in the world. I know because I am 2years sober TODAY :) I was just sharing with my brothers over at April 15 and thanking them for their support. Just being there was enough to get me where I am today. You are not alone. You are not stuck in place with no way out. There IS a door waiting for you to walk through. I know what it feels like to be desperate. I know what it feels like to be free. And I know what it feels like early on in sobriety. It's not easy. It is hard and it does take work. It's so hard, you can't so it alone. This is where SR can be a major tool in your bag. It may very well take more than just an online forum. Give it everything you have. Go all in. Use SR for everything it has to offer. Go to meetings. Read books. See a therapist. See a doctor. Do it all and be done! Yes, it's a lot of work. But it's worth it. Trust me. Being a recovering alcoholic is the best feeling in the world. And only another recovering alcoholic knows what I'm taking about. It's awesome. Join me and see! |
:hb3 |
Awesome post. Congratulations on 2 years! |
Brilliant Post. Well done! |
Excellent post. Very well written! Touching. Thank you and congratulations on 2 uears!!! |
congrats again Inc :) D |
Thank you so much for this post, it is just what I needed today. I stopped in April 2016 and I am also looking forward to the two year mark. |
Such an inspiring post! Congrats on 2 years!! |
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