Treat Yourself Better
Hears The Voice
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Treat Yourself Better
Imagine you had a friend who was struggling with an addiction. They have often expressed a desire to get clean/sober. They were sober for a few days, a week, two weeks, but then they drank or used again.
Your obvious response - as their friend - is to tell them they are a failure, right? You need to stand them up straight, look them in the eye, and tell them they are a useless idiot. They will never learn and they will never get this. You'd do that to your friend, right?
Of course you wouldn't. It's absurd to even think about being that cruel and unhelpful.
Yet every day here on SR we read posts from people who are saying the very same things TO THEMSELVES.
Studies have shown that the messages we tell ourselves are important. Make your messages to yourself POSITIVE. You deserve the same respect you would show any of your friends. Don't put yourself down.
You WILL succeed.
You ARE learning.
You CAN do this.
Say it to yourself. Then say it again. Even if you don't yet believe it, say it anyway.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Your obvious response - as their friend - is to tell them they are a failure, right? You need to stand them up straight, look them in the eye, and tell them they are a useless idiot. They will never learn and they will never get this. You'd do that to your friend, right?
Of course you wouldn't. It's absurd to even think about being that cruel and unhelpful.
Yet every day here on SR we read posts from people who are saying the very same things TO THEMSELVES.
Studies have shown that the messages we tell ourselves are important. Make your messages to yourself POSITIVE. You deserve the same respect you would show any of your friends. Don't put yourself down.
You WILL succeed.
You ARE learning.
You CAN do this.
Say it to yourself. Then say it again. Even if you don't yet believe it, say it anyway.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
When i learned to ride a bike i fell off quite often ,
I didn't storm off in a huff, throw the bike in the hedge, or lay flat on my back in the street and not get back on again .
I got back up , i got myself together , tried to go more steady , find easy territory to cross , watched how the big boys and girls whizzed along on their bikes to see how it was done ..
Some people still fall off after years in the saddle , get back up , get back on ..
Nice one Nons ,
m
I didn't storm off in a huff, throw the bike in the hedge, or lay flat on my back in the street and not get back on again .
I got back up , i got myself together , tried to go more steady , find easy territory to cross , watched how the big boys and girls whizzed along on their bikes to see how it was done ..
Some people still fall off after years in the saddle , get back up , get back on ..
Nice one Nons ,
m
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
This go around, I am blessed with thoughts of: You are good enough. You can have a good life. You get to chose to be healthy. You have more to offer than world than a hungover mess of a person.
We need to be gentle with ourselves and with others. Self love and respect can go a long way.
Thanks for this post, Nonsensical!
We need to be gentle with ourselves and with others. Self love and respect can go a long way.
Thanks for this post, Nonsensical!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
This is so important. It can be hard for us to be kind to ourselves - I know all too well. I had spent most of my adult life beating myself up for one "failing" or another, even before I became a heavy drinker, then alcoholic. It was just how I was made, I guess. Very low self esteem. When my life started to spiral out of control due to my drinking, that cycle of self-hatred just got worse and worse. In sobriety, I'm learning to treat myself the way I'd treat someone else who is struggling with life's challenges. It was hard at first. It felt selfish. It felt fake. But I forced myself. It's easier now. I can finally say that I'm beginning to like myself, and instead of focusing on the things I have not done right, I'm focusing on what I do well. I don't brag, I don't have an inflated ego, but I can objectively look at who I am now and how far I've come and be proud of it - just like I'd be proud of anyone else who has overcome what I have.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Rupert ID
Posts: 469
I struggle daily with that as well. It was a cause to drink and then, made it worse by drinking. I don't know about other alcoholics but I drank because I really wanted to kill the worthless S.O.B. that I saw in the mirror. Thank you for the OP, Nonsensical.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Originally Posted by MLD51 
This is so important. It can be hard for us to be kind to ourselves - I know all too well. I had spent most of my adult life beating myself up for one "failing" or another, even before I became a heavy drinker, then alcoholic. It was just how I was made, I guess. Very low self esteem. When my life started to spiral out of control due to my drinking, that cycle of self-hatred just got worse and worse. In sobriety, I'm learning to treat myself the way I'd treat someone else who is struggling with life's challenges. It was hard at first. It felt selfish. It felt fake. But I forced myself. It's easier now. I can finally say that I'm beginning to like myself, and instead of focusing on the things I have not done right, I'm focusing on what I do well. I don't brag, I don't have an inflated ego, but I can objectively look at who I am now and how far I've come and be proud of it - just like I'd be proud of anyone else who has overcome what I have.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I think this is very important and that it's perfectly possible to change negative thought patterns. It can take hard work and discipline, pretty much changing any strong habit, but the benefits can be great. To make it easier, I also think it's important to consciously choose what external influences we allow and pay attention to as that interacts with our inner talk.
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