Originally Posted by Tetra

I hope you are all keeping well. I am having a hard time to be honest.
Hmm last weekend I wanted to go home for the weekend. I enjoy spending time with my dad. I phoned on Friday night to say I would get the bus on Saturday. He told me "I would be delighted to see you as always. Just be aware that your mom and sister had a major fight and truthfully I haven’t seen your mom this bad in a couple of years". I decided to go home anyway and the atmosphere was icy.

Anyway I always had a suspicion that my sister was seeing her abusive ex on the sly. My parents went out for the day on Sunday. I went out for a walk and I came home. My sister was on the phone to someone and she was saying "I have tried to be angry at him but I can't. He is just so persuasive".

I said nothing. On Monday I got actual proof that she is seeing him on the sly. I can't say how I heard. I phoned my therapist for advice. He said "do not tell anyone how you found out. I do understand how you feel and you want to protect her. In your shoes I would have done the same thing". I was upset at work at lunch time. I had my lunch in the tea room and unfortunately 2 of the registrars came in and said "it's ok. It's just Tetra. She won't mind". The tea room is supposed to be for the secretaries between 12:30 - 2 PM. They took one look at my face and said "it's ok. Don’t worry. We will go to the coffee shop" and backed out. I feel bad for showing my emotions at work. Although they are now being exceptionally kind. I had left some charts on the floor for typing and I reached for them and one of the guys said "let me get those for you". Now I am all smiles at work. It's hard to smile when you are dying inside.

Anyway it would kill my dad in particular to know that my sister is sneaking around with her awful ex and lying. I can't say anything because I have done the same. To be honest at least none of the men I was sneaking out to meet were in any way abusive. They may have been losers but none of them ever laid a finger on me.

I was very upset about this on Monday night. After crying all night on Monday and having talked it over on the phone with my therapist I have decided to do nothing for the moment. My sister has mental problems yes. So does my mother to be fair. I myself have been assessed by a psychiatrist in the past. I cried in his chair for an hour and told him I was depressed. He told me I wasn't and that there is a huge difference between depression and low self esteem.

Anyway I am going to say nothing. When this hits the fan - and it will because as alcoholics or recovering alcoholics we know that nothing stays a secret for long - my parents will need someone to lean on. Someone sober to lean on.

My dad is on blood pressure medicine. The GP gave him a prescription for 11 months which he has now lost. He went in on Monday to get a repeat prescription. The doctor said "I don't know who wrote the script for 11 months because it should have been 3 months maximum". Now he has an appointment for a big check up on Friday.

So that's where I am at. Sober but out of my mind with worry about my family.

I hope you are all keeping well. See you tomorrow on the new thread.