D122y

I feel like this is an original thought...hopefully someone will agree or enlighten me.

I had 0 respect for booze in my early days.

When I got in trouble the first time...sick I figure....I began to learn.

But, I was already addicted. I am talking about maybe 6 years old.

I finally paid attention to my drinking problem when I was in my 50.s after my disregard for booze nearly cost me everything.

Now I respect and fear booze.

I feel like non drinkers and moderate drinkers already know what took me 40 years to learn.

That is all.

Thanks.

CharlotteWells

I always figured moderate and non-drinkers just didn't think about it all that much. Seems like they can take it or leave it but we're different.

Our brains are different. I'm not afraid of booze. I'm afraid of myself.

Thanks for sharing your interesting thoughts.

Soberwolf

Whatever it was it is the past the future hasn't happened yet & we are present today - that is what really counts

JustTony

Perhaps?

Maybe substance abusers like us know it's harmful but we don't care? Maybe we just don't love ourselves enough until we teach ourselves to? Maybe some people never learn to love themselves like a normal person does and then die? Maybe this addiction is just a (seemingly) cowardly and slower way of killing ourselves?

Tony.

Dee74

I think my relationship to things like booze and pot were always more intense than my mates.

They could literally take it or leave it but I grasped on the idea of oblivion, full speed ahead, with both hands.

I could bore you all silly with why I think I was like that, but the point is...I'm not that way any more

Change can and does happen

D

August252015

Mmm, I'd be a different case, so to speak.

I remember praying that I "would never lose the privilege of drinking healthily" somewhere during college- probably in the throes of one of my mom's visits to rehab and following situations that led to her getting sober, after years of dysfunction and pain from age 11 on for me.

Looking back, I had some "technically" (ie by AMA or such standards) drinking habits, sometimes, as did most of my peers. We were all successful in college, work etc. It was during my bad marriage and then after my divorce (so late 20s to early 30s) that my drinking really escalated to the terrifying point it reached at 39.

Why? Like Dee, it really doesn't matter because I am not that way anymore. I spent a lot of time "assessing" and "thinking" about the why- and it let me keep drinking because I "hadn't figured it out yet." I believe alcoholism is a disease, there is a genetic component for me (strong family history on my mom's side), probably my brain's makeup, bad choices, various things. Luckily for me, not drinking is the basic thing I have to do in order to be healthy and happy; the work of my program just makes my life that much better.

I like the saying in AA that "there are as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics." I have mine and am continuing to learn how to live with it - not be trapped by it, rather freed- every day. I do earnestly believe what p 418 of the BB says- alcoholism is the best thing that ever happened to me.

D122y

Thanks for the feedback gang.

I am fairly new to sobriety and my AV might be working me a bit.

Proudly forever sober here.

FreeOwl

I think that for me, what happened to make me a drunk was I drank a ton of alcohol.

I think what happened to make me a drunk was my brain liked it.

I think what happened to make me a drunk was I saw booze as an escape, an answer, a force of good in my life.

I think what happened to make me a drunk was I came to depend on it early in my life and for a long, long time.

I think what happened to make me a drunk was that I chose it.

What happened to bring an end to that cycle was I chose a better life.

What got me sober was I chose it.

What got me the support and tools I needed to stay sober and to remain dedicated to a better, more abundant life was.....

I chose it.

I became a drunk because I chose to.

I became a sober man because I chose to.

That's just my perspective.

PippoRossi

Ah, heck, I could come up with 1,001 reasons as to why I chose to drink, but I won't bore you with those. Instead, I am taking my sobriety day-by-day (hour-by-hour, at times) and view my past life as a cautionary tale, one NOT to be repeated.