Making excuses for something I really don't want to do
 

Told myself I'd get to this meeting for past few nights. Each time, it's something else. Some reason to stay home.

Been doing this 12-step thing for over ten-years now. Had sponsors, did the steps... it just doesn't work for me. Guess that's what the BB means by AA not having a monopoly on recovery.

So tonight I cleaned up my apartment which was looking like ground zero after the past week of binging. Copied down some affirmations to start the day off with tomorrow.

Guess I'm just feeling guilty for not going to the meeting.

Hi Rebel,
I'm just curious from your post ...
So are you now Happy, Joyous and Free ... instead of restless, irritable and discontent ... and don't feel like you have to justify yourself not wanting to spend your life in church basements?

Are you ok with responsible drinking, and the problems of alcoholism and addiction never were a problem or a reality for you? If so, many people get screwed up in life, and have problems with drugs and/or alcohol, and are able to 'snap out of it' and get their lives under control without AA, or other recovery programs.

I'm sober because of AA, and now continue going to meetings because new people keep showing up whose lives are in the gutter, some there for the 1st time, and some because they slipped back out into the complacency of believing they were ok to drink or drug again, only to find out they had the condition I have, which is that I can't drink or drug and be able to 'handle it'. I thank God that AA is there for them and me.

However, just as the book Alcoholics Anonymous states ... if anyone, such as yourself, can do a turnaround and be able to drink responsibly, our hats are off to them. And hopefully so for you. God Bless.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

Maybe there is a new road to recovery for you? It doesnt have to be AA does it?
What else have you tried to implement?

I wasn't happy, joyous and free when I was doing the steps. Seems to be an irrelevant question (in my case). I apologize if that came out snarky. It's just not part of the equation.

Absolutely not ok with it. I can't drink, I know this. I just need to find one of the other ways that the BB is talking about when they say there is no "monopoly on recovery" because what I've been doing hasn't worked (meetings and step work)

Cool. Lot's of people feel like you do. Lot's of people feel like I do.


That really wasn't what my post was about.

SMART recovery, refuge recovery. The longest time of sobriety I had was when I was just doing it by myself. The happiest I've been too.

So why not go that route? Maybe use SR too and see what happens? I believe that there are many different roads to the same destination. One size does not fit all.

I've never tried to quit drinking for good before. Any periods of sobriety I have had have been for the sake of 'having a rest from it' or losing weight or moderation. I've never seriously tried to quit forever like this time.

This time I joined SR and other than that am simply doing it by myself. Just waking up on day 21 and feeling good. I'm not sure if this will work out for me or not but I'm positive it's possible for some people to quit without the assistance of AA or other foundations.

Ultimately the devil makes work for idle hands. I think it's about having a positive purpose, keeping busy and understanding triggers. If you can do that without AA then good for you.

Whatever works long term is the only thing that is important.

Strength to you.

Hey rebel,
I have read that there are so many ways to quit drinking. It's important that you use what works for you and supports your sobriety the way you need it to. I only use SR and it has changed my life. Your doing good just stay with it pal.

I've heard good things about LifeRing too Rebel Jedi :)

D

Your struggle with programs looks more like a struggle with accepting that you cannot drink.

Until you accept that you cannot drink, no program, especially "doing it alone," is likely to work for you.

....in the long run anyway.....

Pardon me, but I do believe you are pulling that out of your arse.

It's a bit more complicated than that. Due to being let go from my seasonal job, I am out of this apartment at beginning of the month. The only place I can think of is this place that temporarily puts up people in transition and is also a 12-step meeting place.

I figure if I go to some of the meetings it will make the transition easier.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I can't imagine coping with this and not knowing where I might be living. Keep strong!

"If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us." Page 95.

No monopoly on God but, for alcoholics of my type, according to my experience and expert medical opinion, pretty much a monopoly on permanent recovery. But then, you may not be an alcoholic of my type.

You mentioned in the last ten years you have done the steps. I am curious, which steps have you done, say, in the last week?

I hear you, Rebel. Life gets complicated, life gets rough. Life is painful and unfair at times. Uncertainty hits.

I still can not drink safely.

Lets keep it civil please.

Dee
Moderator
SR

FWIW... There is no monopoly on recovery. But like you, never took to AA (Athiest here, but that is neither here nor there...) I went to my first SMART recovery meeting a couple of weeks ago, and it was the best thing I have ever done. Aside from SR. :)

I am an atheist, have been since I was a teen. I took to AA and loved it with all my heart. My sponsor and several of my AA friends were atheists and we all agree AA saved our lives.....or more accurately, we saved our lives by working the AA program.

There are, fortunately, plenty of other recovery programs that work.

You may want to look into the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) from Rational Recovery. It is a method synthesized from the experience of self-recovered people into a format which could be taught. It is education on independent recovery, and one may learn the technique, and then put it to use on their own.

There are some good threads discussing AVRT in the Secular Connections forum here on SR, and it is a good place to post any questions. You may also find information on AVRT via Google, and by reading the Rational Recovery book, which explains the technique in detail.